Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Christmas Memories

I read today about a poll in which families were asked what they left out for Santa. 48% said milk and cookies, 29% said just cookies, and the rest left milk, cookies, and carrots. It got me to thinking about our experiences with Santa. When we were kids, we always left out milk and cookies, and on Christmas morning we were thrilled to find that Santa raided the liquor cabinet too. He was a messy fellow, leaving crumbs all over the place, and liquor bottles scattered around the dining room table, some on their sides, some on the floor. After the first time it happened, we thought that we could minimize the mess by leaving him brandy as well as the cookies and milk, but that never worked either...Santa likes variety, and although he drank the brandy, he always got into the other stuff too. One year I was doubting that Santa actually existed, so he wrote me a letter in Chinese and that put all my doubts aside. It didn't click until years later that my Grandfather was there that year, and he was raised in China.

I've been thinking a lot about the traditions that we had when I was growing up. We were far away from all of our family, so at Christmas it was just the four of us. My parents worked so hard to make Christmas a special time for us, and it was never just about the gifts. We had rituals that we would do on and around Christmas, and it just didn't feel the same if we didn't do it just right. My Dad and I would spend a lot of time at church, and my Mum and brother would bake, and cook brunch for us on Christmas day. On Christmas morning my brother and I usually slept in (I was tired from a long night at church, I was usually there from 4 till well after midnight). When we got up we would open our stockings, and read the letter that Santa always left for us. We could tell that he was drinking, usually by the end of the letter his writing was illegible. After the stockings, we would have a quick bite to eat, and Dad and I would head back to church, while Mum and Andrew cooked brunch. When we got back from church, we would all sit around the table and eat brunch, and my dad would drink gallons of coffee. He always said "Okay, after this cup of coffee, we'll open the presents" and he always had another cup. After brunch, if the weather was nice, we would all go for a long walk through the neighborhood. Finally we would get home, and open our gifts, one at a time. Usually we would be finished with the gifts around 4 in the afternoon. After that, Mum and Dad would work on supper, Andrew and I would set the table, and clean up the living room, before checking out our gifts a little more closely. Usually we would eat supper at around 7 (we were always late eaters). By time supper was finished, and dishes were done, we were all so tired that we'd just go to bed early. The way we did it, the day seemed so long, and exciting, and fun. I can't imagine how you would make Christmas feel as special if all the gifts were opened first thing in the morning, and everyone went their separate ways.

Now we need to come up with our own traditions for Mary. I'd like to do the same sort of thing for her as my parents did for us. I want Christmas to be more about being together as a little family than it is about the gifts. I guess we have some time before we really need to worry about it. Christmas for her this year is likely to be much the same as any other day...But next year she will be two, she will understand a little bit more, I think.

How did/do you and your families make Christmas special?

2 comments:

Emmett said...

My family does everything on Christmas Eve, which I thought was normal (it is in Europe) until the other kids looked at me funny when I said I usually slept in on Christmas Day.

We have coldcuts on rye bread, usually -- a really light meal, as the big schnitzel dinner is for Christmas Day. Then we move into the living room and prepare to open the presents. Mom starts off with the guilt: all the cooking she'll be doing tomorrow, how she had to decorate the tree herself, how nice it is to have the whole family together and how the rest of the year is so quiet with my brother and I never visiting. My brother and I sit there and listen to this spiel uncomfortably, waiting until inevitably my Mom and Dad get into an argument over the camera. See, he always buys the fanciest new camera and it never ever works properly. Or its charge is too low. Or he forgets the film. And so Mom yells at him until finally he futzes with the camera enough that it works -- sort of. Since the digital cameras display pictures now, Mom demands to see each one and criticizes them individually or complains about how she looks.

Then we open presents. I'm usually the one who hands them out, everyone getting one at a time. Mom is fun to watch, here, as she giggles and cackles with glee as each present opens. She's always pleased with whatever we get her, which is nice. Dad is quiet and you can never tell whether he's pleased or not, he just politely says thank you and seems eager to get out of there.

So we listen to German Christmas carols, Mom feels homesick and cries a bit, my Dad wanders off to use his computer and my brother and I sit in the living room and slowly get drunk and somehow it all seems really positive and peaceful and I find myself loving my family despite all our peccadillos. And that's our Christmas.

Rednecked Rabbit said...

For me Christmas is really about the big family dinner. This rarely actually happens on Christmas Day (or Eve) but somewhere between Dec.20-30). My mom is a nurse and often works the holiday. Dinner was always at our house. All my mom's brothers and their families and any tag-along shirt-tail relations who didn't really have anywhere else to be (including my mother's ex-husband) will be there. Everybody brings a dish and we set up extra tables and have a big potluck. Usually there are about 25 people. Presents do eventually happen and games and gossip after, but mostly its about the meal.

Myrna