Seven Months

Today Mary is seven months old. Wow. I just cant believe how quickly time has flown by, and how much she has changed from the tiny creature we brought home in January.

I keep thinking about how lucky we are to have her in our lives. Not only does she bring an amazing amount of light into our lives, but she is a good baby too. She has slept through the night since she was 5 weeks old, she is always cheerful, and she loves people. She is very good at entertaining herself, so long as she is fed, her diaper is clean, and she gets cuddles every once in a while, she is happy to play on her own. I hear other people talk about all the work their babies have been, and I am thankful that Mary isn't like that.

Of course, not every day is smiles and chuckles. She gets cranky, and sometimes she is inconsolable. She is a constant source of worry for me...Why doesn't she crawl yet, why doesn't she have teeth, she's been sleeping for 12 hours now, is she still alive? Her skin, and constipation are a constant challenge, and it's difficult to find foods for her that wont make her skin even worse. It took months of work to get her to eat solids, and it is still touch and go. She is a lot of work, and it is hard to get anything done during the day, I cant imagine what it would be like with a more "difficult" baby.

We are getting to the time now that I have to think about going back to work, and it terrifies me. The thought of trusting someone else to raise her makes me sick, I just cant do it. I know how much work she takes, and I just cant imagine her getting the care and love she needs in a daycare where there are several other needy children, and workers who make barely more than minimum wage. I think that it is a terrible thing that our society makes it so difficult to be a parent and raise our children. There is all sorts of subsidies for daycares, in fact, they are revamping the daycare subsidy program as we speak to make it better, yet there is absolutely no help for parents who would rather raise their own children than go to work. The worst thing about me going back to work is that even if I go back to my old job and work full time, after the alarming cost for daycare I will be bringing home even less than I do now on Employment Insurance. Unfortunately, because Ian brings home more than $24,000 a year, we do not qualify for all those nifty subsidies. I would like to sit down with someone and find out how they expect a family whose income is $25,000/year to survive. It's almost worth it for us to just go on welfare, at least then we would have the help we need.

But I digress. Mary is 7 months, and time has flown by. She is a joy, and she learns new things every day. I cannot wait to see what else she learns to do, and what other surprises she brings into our lives.

On Sensitivity

A while back, when we were first introducing Mary to the concept of solid foods, we discovered to our dismay that she has a sensitivity to wheat. As her pediatritian put it, a sensitivity is an allergy we hope she will outgrow, usually by her first birthday. So, unless we want a seriously rashy baby, we do not feed Miss Mary anything with wheat in it until she is a year old. Simple, right? Well, last week we bought some jarred baby foods to feed her. We got some of the mixed stuff for babies over 6 months, and I decided to give it a try. I could not understand why on earth her eczema got so bad overnight. I hadn't given her any wheat...Or had I? I looked at the food that I had given her, and saw that I was feeding her a puree of vegetables and pasta. Pasta. Pasta, which is usually made of wheat. Sigh. As soon as I stopped, her eczema when back to normal, which is bad, but not horrifying. I guess I wont be getting the Mummy of the year award this time around.

Dear Anonymous

For those of you who regularly read this blog, well, this post is directed to only one person. That would be the coward who posted anonymously, in an attempt to make me feel bad for things that happened three years ago, for which I have felt bad about already, and have moved on.

Yes, you are right, I did leave L practically at the alter, and I did say as much on my anniversary post. I did not put that Ian was L's best man, and best friend, and roommate, because he wasn't. Yes, L and Ian had lived together, long before I met either of them. Yes, Ian was a friend of L's and a groomsman, but L's best friend was his best man. Not that it matters, this all happened 3 years ago, L is happily married, and so am I. Honestly, I am thankful that I was able to leave L at the alter, instead of being married to him for a year or two, and getting a divorce, which is what most likely would have happened.

What bothers me most about your cowardly post, is that you are obviously someone who I know, and possibly someone who I think is a friend. You must have known me for some time if you know the "details" of the incident, as warped and incorrect as you have them, and you obviously feel quite resentful towards me for what I did. Seriously, if you have a problem with me, grow some balls, and speak to me face to face. I can take it, although to be honest, after three years of silence, I really don't think that you have any right.


There. Now that I have that out, I must go feed Miss Mary. I have other things to worry (and possibly blog) about later. I have decided to disallow anonymous posts for the time being as well so that this doesn't happen again.

Friday baby blogging

We like to call her Mark when she is dressed in this sleeper. It is the only time I will accept people telling me how handsome my little man is. When she isnt wearing this, she can be found in pink, frilly, extremely girly outfits. 

Little known fact of the day

When it rains and rains, making the cement incredibly slick, you will fall very differently when holding a baby than you ever would without. All sense of self preservation goes out the window, and you tend to really harm yourself. Thankfully, not one centemetre of my sweet little Mary touched the hard, cold, wet ground. I need to go apply hydrogen peroxide to various now-skinless parts of my poor, aching body.

One whole year

Wow, it's really hard to believe that Ian and I have been married for a whole year. The last couple of years of our life have been incredibly busy with buying a house, getting married, and having a baby, and it doesn't look like things will be calming down any time soon. We will work to pay off our debts, I will find a part time job, and in a year or so, I think we will work on giving Mary a little sibling.

Ian really means everything to me, he has given me more than anyone ever has before. He tolerates my moods, he looks after me, he loves me, he works so hard to keep me happy. He is incredibly responsible, and although he isn't as romantic and sensitive as I sometimes wish, he loves me, and that is something I never doubt.

I think that I started to love Ian the first time I met him. He was strange, and a little scary, and he couldn't get through a conversation without warning someone not to touch him. But he was funny, kind, and he had an awesome tattoo. I was dating someone else for the first couple of years that we knew each other, but Ian quickly grew into a friend that I counted on for a lot of support. He was there when my boyfriend at the time and I argued, he was there when we got along. He took me shopping and to the movies, which L (the boyfriend) flat out refused to do. He gamed with me, and listened to me, and gave me a shoulder to cry on. When Ian's girlfriend took me out for coffee and told me that she had broken up with him, I just wanted to slap her. What was she thinking? I knew that if I had Ian, I would never ever let him go. Things in my relationship with L were going very poorly, both of us were unhappy. I remember laying in bed at night, thinking about how when L and I got divorced, I would go to Halifax to find Ian. I knew that something had to change, but I was afraid to do anything. You see, L and I were engaged to be married, and the wedding was coming up very quickly. Finally, one night, about 2 weeks before the wedding, something happened, L and I fought, and I knew that it wouldn't be fair to either of us to go through with the wedding. I called it off, and Ian was there for me, as usual. I knew that I loved him. It was a horrible, difficult thing to do, calling off that wedding, I was terrified that my friends and family would hate me. I felt particularly guilty because I was practically leaving L at the alter, and moving directly into a relationship with Ian. I did loose some friends because of that decision, but honestly, I have gained so much more(and L is now married, and very happily from what I hear).

Anyways, I know that I made the right decision, and I have never ever regretted what I did. I don't believe in "soul mates," but if I did, I'm sure that Ian would be mine. I love him more now than I did a year ago, and I cant imagine growing old without him.

So, our anniversary was nice, and low key. We went to Brewsters for lunch, mostly because we didn't have the baby, and that isn't somewhere we could go with her, and then we went and saw Batman Begins (fantastic movie!). Then we picked up the baby, brought her home, and just hung out. We didn't even drink the champagne we have been saving since our wedding. Maybe we will drink it next week, or maybe we will wait till next year.

Upsetting

So, the man that the London police shot five times in the head in front of a subway car full of commuters has been cleared of any connection to either bombing. That must make his family feel really good, don't you think? Oh, and how about all the other swarthy skinned people in London who are afraid to go out in public wearing a coat, or carrying a backpack. My dad and brother are going to London mid-august, luckily for them, they both have fair skin and light coloured eyes. Even though they aren't safe from subway bombs, they should be safe from trigger happy cops.

Thank God for extended warranties

Angus (The Black) has pooped out on us. For the last several days, every morning, the engine light has come on on the way to Ian's work. Every morning he has used the little gadget to find out what it is, and he has got the same code each time. Although he can change oil with the best of 'em, and is very handy with his hands, he didn't know what the code means. The first time he figured the care just hiccuped (I didn't know they did that), but after the 4th day in a row, I convinced him to call the dealership. When he called them, they were quite concerned, so Ian tried to make an appointment for next week. They said no, come in tomorrow. Yikes. So, Angus (The Black) is going to the doctor tomorrow, and I have not been able to drive him at all today. I did take him to swimming lessons, and the way he was acting, I wasn't sure that we would make it home. I cant imagine being stranded on 97th street with the baby. It would have been quite distressing to say the least. Anyways, we made it home, and haven't gone out since. It's really too bad, I needed to go buy Ian a gift and card for our anniversary, I'm not sure how I will manage it before Sunday now. The woman at the dealership told Ian what the code meant, and Ian figures that the part alone is $600-800. I say again, Thank God for extended warranties. It just paid for itself.

In other news, someone asked me the other day if the police in London still don't carry guns. I said that I wasn't sure, but I thought that they do. I can safely say after watching the news today, that yes, the police in London do indeed carry guns. I spoke with my somewhat intolerant father about it today, and even he agreed that it would be a terrible thing if they shot some poor Arab looking fellow who was wearing his winter coat on the subway today. I'm sure that they had good reason to shoot that guy, but I always wonder how they can be so sure that they have the right person when they are shooting a man to death.

Friday baby blogging

I bought Mary a new toy a while ago. If you bump it, it rocks and spins and lights up, and it makes music too! This is her initial reaction to it, right before she starts screaming in terror. 

Babies have it hard. Mary spend a long day yelling at me, and finally she passed out in her exersaucer. 

Here she is enjoying her gym. 

I'm not surprised

You scored as Romanticist. Romanticism encourages society to look backwards to find our solutions. Your rationale is that things were much better a few hundred years ago so we should thus look back to those times and replace them in our modern society. You believe in a simple life and that the complexities of the modern world have turned it upside down. Romanticist 94% Fundamentalist 69% Idealist 69% Cultural Creative 69% Existentialist 38% Postmodernist 25% Modernist 19% Materialist 6% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Message boards

There is a message board group that I go to from time to time. It is all mothers who have had their babies around the same time as Mary was born, and they are largely all American. Not that it should make a difference, but I really think it does. For every reasonable American on that board (Goody), there seems to be 3 (or more) religious nutters, who delight in quoting the bible during every debate, and justifying their intolerance and closed-mindedness with said quotes. It is really quite amazing, and oftentimes hard to read for someone who considers herself to be a Christian. There has been talks about homosexual marriage, homosexuals adopting children, abortion and eating meat (one non-Christian poster started a thread comparing eating meat to abortion, and that got hot pretty quickly). Anyways, I have from time to time considered posting to one or more of these threads, but I know that either my opinion would be shot down in flames, or ignored altogether.

Aside from the "hot topics" board, there are several other ones, where these mothers ask advice from each other on feeding, medical issues, they compare milestones, they gripe about their husbands, all sorts of things really. The one emotion I get when I read these forums (aside from extreme irritation) is uncertainty. I mean, these forums are there to help, but I generally come away from reading posts feeling like I am doing things wrong with my own baby. Mary doesn't crawl, but all the other babies do, what's wrong with her, or better yet, what's wrong with me? I don't breast feed, I'm poisoning my baby, what's wrong with me? I'm not comfortable watching a woman breastfeed, what's wrong with me? Mary eats solids, oh no, Mary doesn't eat enough solids, we have a bumper in her crib still, I don't stay home for her naps, I do stay home for her naps...So, I don't think I'm going to go back, no matter how train-wreckish the hot topics forum is.

Anyways, the reason I started talking about this is that in the hot topics forum, there is a discussion about religion (go figure). Someone has posed the question "if you woke up tomorrow to a world without religion, could you carry on? I think that it is an odd question to ask. Is she asking about religion, or about God. Now, if she is asking if I woke up in the morning, and the Anglican church, and all the other churches and religions had decided to dissolve...Well, I just don't think that would happen. So long as there is something to believe in and worship, and people already had a common culture, they would organize to discuss and worship their god - and that in my mind is the definition of religion, an organized group of people with the same set of beliefs and faith, who come together to worship their god (which is why the term organized religion drives me bonkers, religion is by definition organized). Sure, it wouldn't have the same structure as our religions do now, but it would be religion.

If we woke up in the morning and there was no God, well, how would you prove it. So long as people live, I think that people will have faith in something. So long as we do not, and cannot know what happens after death, people will have some sort of mythology about it, and mythology is the basis of religion. The majority of people will always have faith that there is something more, I think, even if they don't know exactly what it is. I have a friend who was working toward his doctorate in bio-chemistry, and instead of letting science prove to him that there was no god, he instead wrote a paper on how science proves that there is a god, and that it is the catholic God at that. There will always be people like him out there, and really, I'm okay with that.

Religion has been the justification for some atrocious acts, and continues to be so today, but I really cannot imagine a world without it, because a world without religion would be a world without faith and hope. In it's purest form, that is what religion is all about.

A concern

So, I am seriously thinking about shutting this blog down. Mr. Marx (hahaha, isnt he funny?) has taken several of my posts, going all the way back to the conception of this blog, and put them on his own blog, along with pictures of Ian, Mary and I. He took comments I made out of context, and to be honest, I am really bothered by what he has done. A friend of mine equated it to cyber-stalking. Now, I should probably not be surprised or upset by this, right? I mean, I have been putting personal information and pictures on the web for a while now. What bothers me is that I chose to put that stuff where I put it, and if I still have a modicum of control over that information. I can shut down my blog if I want. Mr. Marx has stolen my information, and pictures without even a by your leave, and that really really bothers me. It bothers Dave too, who was also one of Mr. Marx's (did I mention how clever and ironic his chosen name is?) targets. It bothers Dave so much that he has shut down his blog for good. I dont know if Anne and Janet have seen the blog, they too were victims of this funny little joke. One of the things that bothers me the most is that this person is likely someone we know, and speak too. Whoever it is has also justified his actions by calling it a "social experiment." Right. Keep your experiment away from me and my family, asshole.

Friday baby blogging

I tolerate this, but only because Mummy has so much fun. 

Well, it is now friday, yay! Days don't really mean much to me, to be honest, what's the difference between friday and monday when youre a stay at home mum? Anyways, I have decided to copy some other people, and post a picture of little Miss Contrary every friday.

Yesterday was our last day of swimming lessons. Mary did very well, and is ready to swim on her own if you just go by her report card. I decided we (read: I) had so much fun with it that I would sign us up again, so we are starting a whole new class of the same stuff on monday. This time around we shouldnt need to miss any of the lessons, as she has no doctor's appointments scheduled.

Today was Mary's big Neonatal ICU follow up appointment, and she did very well. I think that the clinic is more for the premie babies, so they arent used to seing such large, advanced babies like Mary. She saw a physical therapist, who said she is doing very well, and is slightly advanced for her age, and the audiologist said her hearing is fine. The doctors were nice too. I did think that being made to see a social worker was a bit much, but all in all the morning went well. I think that all the poking and prodding tired Mary out even more than her swimming lessons.

Anyways, I should stop typing, and go watch the very odd football game that is on tv. It's Edmonton and Winnipeg, and it is an amazingly poorly played game so far. Both teams are sucking hardcore, but Edmonton is winning (YAY! I hate Winnipeg with a burning passion).

Oh, and by the way, thank you very very much to those of you who offered to look after Mary for us. Our anniversary is next sunday (the 24th), and one of you may be hearing from us very soon.

Blah

I really haven't got much to say. I've been thinking about what I can write about here, and I just cant come up with anything. Life is going well, that's all. Nothing exciting is happening.

Um. Lets see. Our wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks. We haven't really got any plans as we don't really have anyone to look after the baby. Ian said that he would talk to his aunt and uncle, but he hasn't yet, and I don't have any great hopes that he will. So, we will likely spend the night at home, drinking our champagne, and going to bed early.

Mary has been constipated again, it got really bad yesterday, poor little thing. She likes prunes, so hopefully a few meals of those will straighten her poor bowels out. Other than that she is well, happy as usual, enjoying the swimming lessons a little more, she smiled a lot in the water today, and we even went into the big cold pool.

The cats are good, still pains in my ass, but I love them, so it's okay.

White Wolf is up to no good. I wont get into it here, cause the people who know what I'm talking about know what I'm talking about, and the people who don't, don't - and likely don't really care. Needless to say, I am not impressed, and I am not about to fork over my money and personal information to an american company who just wants to send me junk, and sell my personal info.

Anyways, that's all for now, I guess. A boring blog, I know, possibly something exciting will happen to me later on...but I lead a pretty sedate life, so I doubt it.

Notice

Just a quick FYI....Puree'd stewed prunes look much the same coming out as they did going in. Go figure.

Vaccine day

Mary is sleeping now. Finally. This is the first nap she's had since she woke up this morning at 8. Vaccine day is never fun. She has been yelling like crazy since we came home. She doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to be held, but screams till she's blue (literally) if I put her down. When she moves her legs, she screams, because she got poked in both legs. She has started to fall asleep, then moved one of her little legs, and woken herself up. I feel so bad for her, but there isn't anything I can do for her. I gave her some tylenol and she finally fell asleep in my arms, so I put her in her crib, and she promptly woke up, you guessed it, screaming. I sat there and tried to soothe her, and she finally fell back asleep, but it seems to be fairly restless, I'm not sure how long it'll last. Thank God that this is the last vaccine until she is a year old, I don't think I could do this again any time soon.

Needless to say, we missed our swimming lesson this morning, which is too bad. Today was pfd day, so we were going into the big pool instead of the kiddie pool. It would have been interesting to see her reaction to that. I'm sure we will do it again next week, I just hope it isn't Friday again, as we have a 3 hour appointment at the Glenrose. I am really looking forward to this appt, actually. Some good things come out of having your baby in the ICU after being born, and this is one of them. Her appointment is with a doctor, nurse, speech pathologist and physical therapist, and they see her every 6 months until she is 2 or so, I think. Because she was tongue tied, I am a little worried about her having speech problems like my brother did, so I'm really happy that we get to see the speech pathologist.

I spoke with my dad last night, and it sounds like my cousin, her fiancee, and my aunt in London are all okay, but a little shaken up. Thankfully they were at home, and not taking the transit yesterday morning. I was a little shocked by the venom that my dad was spewing when I spoke to him, he is getting more intolerant the older he gets, and he had some choice things to say about the "bloody Arabs," as he put it. It's hard not to agree with him a little bit, hate is far too easy though, and I really don't think that genocide is the answer.

Things are going poorly in the mother-land...

Wow. Things are looking nasty in Great Britian. I heard about the explosions in the London transit this morning while dropping Ian off at work, and was suprised to find my eyes welling up with tears. When I got home, I went to CBC.ca and read a little more about what happened. I remember taking the underground, the first time I ever got on the train in London was at King's Cross station. They are saying now that they think at least 40 people died. I know that it isn't close to what happened in New York, but still, it's horrifying, and seems much more personal to me. I've been to London, I love it there. I have family there. Right now I'm just praying that Karen or her fiancee weren't taking the tube to work this morning. I'll have to call my dad tonight and find out if he knows anything.

Meanwhile, further north in Scotland, the peaceful protesters at the G8 have started rioting. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I have never been one to protest in the streets, and the thought of being even on the fringe of a riot scares me so much that I don't want to leave my safe little house. I can see why they are protesting, and I understand that a mob of people will do very different things than each individual would ever do on their own. Still though, I really don't think rioting is going to make the G8 nations any friendlier, or liklier to listen to your opinion, no matter how valid it is.

In other, happier news...the swimming lessons are going well, I guess. I have fun at least. I am fairly certain that there are many many things that Mary would prefer to be doing...but she doesn't cry much. I have to admit, yesterday I dunked her whole head under the water. She didnt mind the dunking, but when she comes out of the water, she sniffs, and ends up inhaling the drops of water on her nose. I think we are going to miss the lesson tommorow though, she's got her vaccine appointment first thing in the morning, so we are likely just going to take it easy for the rest of the day.

The long weekend and more

So, the last several days have been busy ones, I suppose. Last Thursday, the sinus cold which had been threatening really kicked into high gear. Sweet Baboo came home a couple of times during the day to check on Mary and I, to make sure that I hadn't passed out and she wasn't starving because of it. Luckily, Mary was feeling a little under the weather that day too, so we both got lots of sleep throughout the day. That night, Ian had to work late as it was month end, so Mary and I watched football and drank beer. We missed BP's, and honestly, although it is nice to see all our friends, it was a really nice quiet evening at home. (Note : CFL football, another thing I would miss if I got rid of the TV.)

Friday was Canada day. We all got up relatively early, and had a fantastic day. We took the bus downtown, and went to city hall. I took Mary to a petting zoo (no, it was not for me, although I did touch all the animals!), and she seemed to enjoy it, especially when a pot bellied pig nibbled on her toes. There was a little goat laying in the middle of the fenced off area sleeping so hard, that I thought it was dead. Anyways, after that, we wandered around the wading pools for a while, and then decided to take the LRT down to the University. We had a lovely walk from the University all the way up Whyte avenue. We looked at all the odd people, and I gave money to a couple of panhandlers. I swear, they can tell that I am a soft touch.

On the LRT a fellow who looked down on his luck came over and asked us about the baby. He told us he has two kids, and he loves them very much. I felt so bad for him, it was obvious that he was separated from his wife, and didn't see his babies anymore. We also thought that he was wearing everything he owned on his back. I wanted to invite him over to our house for supper, but Ian wouldn't let me. Really, Ian is a good influence for me, if it were up to me, I would be inviting the prostitutes down the street over for tea. I have a hard time in this neighbourhood, I wish I could do more for all the people (and there are lots of them around here) who are down on their luck.

Anyways, after a long day of walking around, we went out with G&K to celebrate both Mary and K's half-birthdays. Then we went back to their place, watched more football, ate cake, and watched the fire works from their balcony. All in all, it was a lovely day.

Saturday, nothing really happened. We went to play D&D, and stayed up far too late.

Sunday I slept in, and wasn't feeling great again. We went to Rona and bought ant poison and a doorbell, and then went grocery shopping. When we got home, I suddenly felt much better, and very industrious. I cleaned up the baby's room, and the living room (which was a HUGE mess), while Ian put up the new doorbell, and the baby gate. Our house is presentable enough to have people over again! I must invite someone quickly before it gets messy again...

This morning, Mary had her first swimming lesson! It was great fun, and she did so well, I am very proud of her. She is the youngest in her class by about a year, the class is for 6 - 24 months, so there is a huge variation in the abilities of the students. There was one little girl, about 2 years old, and her mother kept going "See! That baby isn't crying! That baby is doing what her mummy says!" Really, Mary is little enough that she doesn't know that she should be protesting. I felt bad for the little girl though, her mother also kept dunking her head under the water to get her used to it, then when the little girl would sputter and cough, she would tell her that it served her right for not holding her breath. yikes. I am looking forward to the lesson tomorrow though, it should be fun!

Six months and more

Well, Mary hit the 6 months of life mark on Thursday. She had her regularly scheduled doctors appointment the day before, and I am happy to report that she is now 17lb 4oz, and 27 inches long. She has nearly doubled her birth weight, and let me tell you, it sure feels like it when you're packing her around the house. She hit a couple of milestones this months, she can now roll over both ways, although she rarely does, cause she hates it. I suppose if I left her, she would roll back over onto her back, but, I don't, the minute she starts screaming, I flip her back over onto her back where she is happy. I am such an enabler. She has always despised being on her belly with a burning passion, and the few times that she has rolled over, she has gotten very very angry. She also sits up, and although she cant pull herself to a sitting position, she tries, very hard, over and over and over, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

She has been getting pretty cranky in the evenings, the doctor says that her teeth are right there under the gums, and we should see them any day now, which is quite exciting, I guess. Especially if it ends the misery of teething for a little while. She isn't too bad during the day, but nights are a chore. We have so many things that we do in the evening too, I suspect we are going to have to cut down our social calendar pretty soon. She still doesn't have a routine for bedtime, because she often goes to bed so late, and I would really like to change that.

What else...oh yes, solid foods. We tried rice cereal, and she got terribly constipated, so we tried a wheat cereal, and apparently she has a sensitivities to wheat, when she ate that, her eczema got so bad that it made me itch. We tried sweet potatoes, which she thought were poison, I gave those up when she started flinching every time she saw a spoon. Now we are trying a barley cereal, which seems to be going okay. She still refuses to open her mouth for the spoon, but I am determined, and bigger than she is. I can do this, right?

We start swimming lessons tomorrow, which I am very excited about. I suspect the first few will be a lot of screaming, and not a lot of fun, but I am determined that she will not be like her father, and she will actually enjoy swimming. When I phoned about the lessons the first time, the girl I spoke too told me that yes indeed there is a swimming class for babies 6-18 months, but I really should know that it is a parented lesson, and I would need to be there. Really? I thought they would just throw 10 babies into the water with a teenaged instructor, and see who is still kicking at the end of the 30 minute lesson.

Proud to be Canadian, but perhaps not so proud to be from Alberta

Well, as I said before, gay marriage (I always feel silly using the word gay...till I was about 16 I didn't realize it meant anything other than happy) has been legislated as okay here in Canada. Today on the local news though, they were telling a different story. In the last 2 weeks, there have been 2 attacks against gay men in the city, one in the middle of the day, in a very public place. People are wondering if it has anything to do with the opinion of the provincial government towards gay marriage. Do you think? King Ralph has said flat out that he will make any gay people who want to get married take the province to court, before he gives them a license. I guess he is counting on the fact that a lot of people will not be willing to go through the difficulty and expense of a court battle. What a great way to spend our provincial surplus! Education, healthcare, even roads, pah! We need to stop those gays from getting married, and while you're at it, beat one or two of em up to make sure they know how unwelcome they are here in our lovely, wealthy, rednecked province! Sigh.

Mary turned 6 months today, I will probably write about it tomorrow. Today my head hurts, my sinuses feel like they're going to explode, my throat burns, and my heart is sick from watching the news. At least she gives me something to hope for.

The new meaning of marriage

The Canadian government has (finally) passed the bill on homosexual marriage. I am of mixed feelings on this, I will have to admit. I have a lot of friends who are gay, and I really am happy for them. I think it's terrible that anyone can be denied the secular rights and privileges that go along with marriage, just because they are both the same sex. Now, along with the bill allowing homosexuals to marry they have stated that no one (read religious institution) can be forced to marry them if it goes against their beliefs. I think that's great, but I am concerned at how long that will last. I really do believe that there needs to be a difference between the sacrament of marriage, and what the government does as well. I think that soon enough, someone is going to get miffed that they cant get married at the church of their choice, and bring it to court. Right now the government has done a good job of dealing with this so everyone is able to hang on to their rights, the homosexuals who want to get married, and the churches who don't want to marry them. I just hope it stays that way. Maybe now the government can get to the task of actually governing the country, instead of bickering about gay marriage.

In other news....Purgatory was fantastic on Friday. Wow. That's really all I can say. The organizers did a great job, as did the players. Eman did a fantastic job playing Grendel, the mad malkavian Methuselah, and although I hate fight scenes, the one with Popel went amazingly smoothly, all things considered.

Anyways, I must go watch Voyager. You know, there is a woman out there whose blog I read, and she got rid of her TV a while ago. I'd love to cancel cable, but I sure would miss my Star Trek!

I just couldn't help but post this picture here, even though I posted it on Mary's blog already. Aren't they too cute for words? Jonah is 7 months older than Mary and has had 4 haircuts now, I'm a little jealous, I don't think Mary is going to need a haircut until she is about 3 years old.  

Sleep is for the weak.

Yes, it's true, and I am terribly, terribly weak. I need sleep. Someone in the cosmos however has decided that I'm not going to get any. Cori says that you can't die of insomnia, but I am starting to believe she is a liar. For the last week, I've gotten a max of 3 hours sleep every night. Being a new mother, people might think that I am used to sleep deprivation, but Mary has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old.

Today, I am so tired, I seriously considered not going to Purgatory tonight. I considered it for a while too, in fact, I still am. It would be a shame not to go, Eman's character has some big stuff going on, and I would really hate to miss it as I am somewhat involved with that character. Aside from that, there will be all sorts of excitement. It would also be a shame since we worked so hard to find a sitter for Mary (RAVEN ROCKS!). Honestly, that is probably what is going to make me go, after the stress and the fighting with Ian, I really need to. I know that the chances that I go to D&D tommorow night are slim to none though. I'll get Ian to take Mary, pop a handful of sleeping pills, and hope for the best.

Jobs

The other day, I decided I need a job. It was mostly because I have very little to speak with my friends who aren't parents about anymore. On Saturday night we were hanging out before Cori's Kingdom Come game started, and I felt really out of place. People were talking about their work, and all I had to talk about was Mary. Then I realized, hey, taking care of Mary is my job, and more than that, it's my second and third job too. I think that it is really strange that people are perfectly okay when their friends talk/complain about their jobs, but when I, or any other mother tries to talk about their baby, people get all uncomfortable, roll their eyes, and walk away. I found a website talking about how Mothers who blog are selfish and whiney, but no one writes articles specifically about people who blog about their job. Weird.

Anyways, Broken Wings was terribly fun on Saturday, as usual. My evil angel is getting ready to blow up, I think. Between her cold fish boyfriend, and people messing with her cult, she is not a happy camper.

Purgatory is coming up this Friday, yay! We do have a problem though, so far, Ian and I have been unable to find childcare for the night. It is going to be a warzone around here if we have to decide which one of us gets to stay home with the baby. It is getting very close to the end game, and lots of exciting stuff is happening. We will probably judge it by our turns as to who gets to stay home, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Fathers day was nice. Ian, Mary and I went out (instead of housework, we are a family of expert procrastinators) for the day. We went to Rona, and I bought Ian a laser level and a measuring tape, then we went to a restaurant for lunch, and finished up with some grocery shopping. Since Mary came along, our grocery bill has almost doubled! In the evening, G & K came over for a nice fire in our lovely little fire pit, and a beer. All in all it was a lovely day. Yesterday Ian did the dishes without me nagging too! So far this week has been pretty good.

D&D at G & K's place tonight. I love G's game, as my barbarian is super cool, and nearly invincible. It's really fun to play a big, dumb, beautiful thug!

Motherhood, the gift that keeps on giving.

Well, I visited my doctor yesterday. He is a wonderful guy, and young, cute, and a good doctor. You'd think that I would have problems baring my privates to someone like him, but he's such a good doctor, that it doesnt bug me at all. Anyways, I went because lately, especially since I took up Mr. Shatner on his 2 week challenge, it hurts when I poo. Seriously. It feels like I am pooing sharp gravel bits, and it is most unpleasant. I met with a friend who had her baby in March, and she has the very same problem, and it turns out needs surgery for it. So, I decided to bite the bullet, and go see Dr. Hartt. I have to admit that I was a little uncomfortable when he told me that hemorrhoids are a side effect of giving birth, and in some women they grow to the size of a softball (!!!!). I was fairly certain there were no softball sized lumps down there, but who knows, right? It is hard to look at ones own asshole. Anyways, he took a peek, and announced with great pride, "Yup, there's one there, the size of a large grape, and a nice fissure too!" He prescribed some medicine, and told me that I would be feeling human in no time flat. I muttered that it is hard to feel human when you are inserting suppositories into your own bum, but whatever. You know what amazes me about suppositories? They have warnings all over that you must insert them pointy end first. Go figure! It makes me sad that people need to be told such things. I suspect it would really hurt if you tried to push the ass rocket in the wrong way.

On to other topics. I did go visit my neighbour. It was a nice little visit, and the first time I had been in their house. I have to say, hearing everything that had happened to poor old Don really cemented in my mind that it is a blessing that he passed. He was in very very rough shape. I have always had a fascination with learning about things medical, and it makes it easier for me to accept what is happening if I know exactly what is happening, and how it affects the body. When Ians dad died, it drove me crazy that they didnt actually know what had happened. They didnt know where the cancer started, why it spread so quickly, or even what cancer actually killed him.

Mary has been exceedingly miserable lately, Im sure she is teething. She rubs at her mouth, screams for no reason, and just recently she started sucking on her lower lip till it disapears. I call her "Lipless Lizzie." I just wish that there was some proof, just one tooth, or even the hint of one tooth. It would make the screaming just a bit more tolerable if there was a visible goal or cause of this increased crankiness. The little boy that I babysit is teething too, so when I have the two of them together I feel like tearing out my hair.

Am I getting old?

In the last two years I have experienced more death than I had in the previous 26 years of my life. It started with Ian's dad a couple of years ago. It was pretty out of the blue and very hard to deal with. Then, a year later, my boss' wife was in a car accident and died, then Willow (my cat, yes, he counts too), then my Grandfather. Yesterday our neighbour passed away at the hospital. I took grief counselling courses when I worked at the vet clinic and learned how to help people through loss, but, I'm terrible at it, really. I have no idea what to do. Do I go to the neighbours house and offer my condolonces? If I do, what on earth do I say? I'm sorry just sounds so stupid right now. Don (the neighbour) has been in the hospital for several months now, so really, maybe it's a blessing that he finally passed, but you cant say that either. So, I sit here in my house, afraid to go out because I may bump into Don's son or his wife, and I have no idea what to say to them. I feel sick just thinking about what they must be feeling.

A day in the life...

Last night Mary went to sleep at 9. It was great, or at least, we thought it was. Sleeping baby, and two very awake parents means getting some, right? So, of course, thats what happened. Then, Mary woke up at midnight, shortly after the getting had been got. No sleep for me yet. Thats okay, though, right. So, she yelled for a while, and I waited to see if she would fall back asleep, but no luck. I got her out of bed, fed her and changed her, and she chatted to herself till about 1:30. It wasnt too bad, she was making pretty cute noises through the monitor, and cute noises are infinately better than loud screams. The cute noises started up again at 5 am. Not so cute, after only 3 hours of sleep, thats for sure. Again, I waited to see if she would fall asleep, but alas, the cute noises got less cute, and more shrill. So, I got her up, changed the poopy diaper, fed her, and lay her down on the bed between Ian and I. She finally fell asleep as Ian was getting up for work at 6:15. 7 am. Skip the cute noises and move straight to screaming. Yikes. So, I changed her diaper, and discovered that in ONE HOUR she has developed a diaper rash so bad that it's bleeding. How the hell did she manage that?? Anyways, I cleaned her up, and put some diaper rash stuff on her sore little bum. Poor baby. After that she slept from about 8 - noon, and so did I, which really redeemed her, and made me love her again. Right now she is being super cute on the couch, holding on to her feet and telling them stories.

So, this is my life. Baby poops, I clean it. Baby wants to eat, I feed her. Baby wants to be held, I hold her. Baby screams, I try desperately to guess what it is that she needs so eventually, I might be able to comfort her. That could really my daily blog entry.

I need a life.

Will you please stop YELLING!

There are many reasons that I no longer drink copious amounts of red wine, and I am being reminded of every single one of them today. Ugh. We went over to Anne and Janet's place to celebrate Anne's forthcoming natal day last night. I was doing fine until Aaron kindly offered me a glass of wine, and then the long buried lush in me came leaping to the fore. Yikes. I guzzled a good deal of Anne's red wine, and Janet, evil woman that she is, offered me some burning liqueur. Needless to say, today, I'm feeling a little under the weather. I must have picked up a flu bug or something. Ian has been very kind to me, and got up with the baby. The only thing worse than a red wine headache, is having a creature in your house who communicates her needs by yelling while you have a red wine headache.

Yes, I stole it too.

I stole this from Anne.

1. First name: Jennifer
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope. It's just a name that my parents, along with thousands of other new parents at the time, liked.
3. Do you wish on stars? I used to, but I rarely have the time anymore.
4. When did you last cry? Since Mary was born, I have become quite weepy, and it doesn't take a lot. In fact, this test is making me cry right now.
5. Do you like your handwriting? It's okay, I suppose, but nothing fancy.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? I don't particularly like lunch meats.
7. What is your birth date? April 12th, in the year of the Snake.
8. What is your most embarrassing moment? What immediately comes to mind is the several times that Mary has barfed on complete strangers. Although, it serves them right for touching my child.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself? I honestly don't know. Sometimes I try too hard, and that can be grating.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? I rarely swear not to tell unless it is very very important. I am terrible with secrets.
12. Do looks matter? Honestly, yes they do, and anyone who says they don't, is lying to you.
13. How do you release anger? I hold it in, and push it down to my toes, one day soon, I'm going to explode. Oh, and occasionally I take it out on Ian.
14. Where is your second home? The place that I felt at home more than anywhere would have to be PEI. The place I know that I will always be welcome is my Dad's place in Regina.
15. Do you trust others too easily? Yes, I do, and I often get burned. But I would rather believe the best of someone, so I never learn my lesson.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a stuffed chick, called Chickie, and a stuffed cat with a musical box in her, called Musical Kitty. I still have them both now.
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Gym. Fuck off, Nazi bastards.
18. Do you have a journal? Aside from this blog? Nope. I'm terrible at keeping a journal.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really, and I often miss other peoples sarcasm too.
20. What is your favorite movie? Moulin Rouge, Labyrinth, The Princess Bride.
21. What are your nicknames? Jennnnnnnn. My dad calls me Hairball.
22. Would you bungee jump? Never in a million years.
23. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
24. Do you think that you are strong? No, I don't. Not physically or mentally.
25. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Pistachio or Vanilla.
26. Shoe size? Ten. Sigh.
27. What are your favorite colors? Any shade of green and most shades of blue
28. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm not terribly bright, and I'm smart enough to know it.
29. What do you miss most? Right now, very little. I am currently happier than I can remember being in the past. Occasionally it would be nice to eat a meal without Mary screaming at me.
30. Do you want everyone you sent this to, to send it back? I don't care.
31. What color pants are you wearing? Blue Jeans, of course.
32. What are you listening to right now? The Principles of Lust, by Enigma...
33. Last thing you ate? Boiled Pyrogy's and sour cream
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Well, if I could pick any colour, I'd pick something purple, I think.
35. What is the weather like right now? Sunny. Still not raining. Who pays those bloody weathermen anyways?
36. Last person you talked to on the phone? My sweet baboo, calling from work to say hello.
38. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I stole it from Anne, who is very cool.
39. How are you today? I'm pretty good. My throat is a little sore, but I'll live.
40. Favorite Drink? Tea, iced or hot.
41. Favorite Sport: Mmmm. Football! GO RIDERS! And anything horsey.
42. Hair Color? Brownish.
43. Eye Color? Green
44. Do you wear contacts? ick. no.
45. Favorite Food? Roast lamb with mint jelly, and asparagus. If I'm in PEI, lobster and mussles.
46. Last Movie You Watched? Stupid bloody Star Wars 3. Ugh. I wouldn't call it watching though, so much as dozing and dreaming of being anywhere but there.
47. Favorite Day of the Year? Easter
48. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Neither really, though if I had to pick one, I would pick happy endings, though even better is a tragedy where no one is happy in the end.
49. Summer or winter? I am not a fan of the summer, and I could never live somewhere where it was hot all year round. That being said, I am no fan of winter either, at least not when it gets down to -40. I guess I would have to say spring.
50. Hugs or kisses? Don't touch me.
51. What is Your Favorite Dessert? Creme brulee!!
52. Where Would You Want to Go on your Next Vacation? PEI or Vancouver. Realistically, I doubt I'll be going anywhere for a long time though.

Update

The constipation, it is not getting better. In fact, it's getting much worse. Today at Julio's Barrio, we were enjoying a lovely marguirita, when Mary started up with her usual pooping faces. All was going well, when suddenly her eyes got really big, and she let out this blood curdling scream. Im certain I heard glasses smash from the kitchen. I grabbed her, and hurried her to the bathroom, and when I took off her diaper, I saw that she had laid a large, solid, green egg. The worst part is that it was quite bloody also. Poor baby. I know that I would have cried passing something like that too. We have thrown out the remainder of the nasty formula that didnt help her spit up problem at all, and are feeding her apple juice. Hopefully this wont turn into a chronic problem. Really, I cant decide if I prefer this, or the diarrhea that shot up her back and into her hair. At least the diarrhea didnt hurt her as much.

In other news, Ian had the day off today, and we went out and spent far too much money on stuff for the baby. We bought a mobile for the crib, a mirror thing that ties to the side of the crib, a nightlight, a new light switch cover with teddy bears on it, a couple of outside lights to replace the crappy ones we have out ther now, and some formula and cereal for Mary. You will notice that the majority of the products we bought were for the baby. Everything we do is for the baby, and she rarely appreciates it...still, we strive to please her. One day she will reward me with something more than a smile and poo.

Constipation is genetic.

Some of you may not know this, but I am a chronically constipated person. I know, given my sweet nature, it is hard to believe, but entirely true. I wont go into details, but after I gave birth to Mary, I didn't poo for a full 7 days. Yup, no poo for a week. I must say, pooing after that week was up was probably the most painful experience in my life, including labour and childbirth. For those of you who read Dooce, no, it was not in the bathtub, and no, even if it had been, I seriously doubt Ian would clean it up for me. Anyways, it would seem that my daughter has inherited my bowels. It's too bad, I had hoped that she would inherit Ian's metabolism, and his clockwork regular poo schedule, but no such luck. I can still hope for the metabolism thing, I guess. We switched her formula two days ago to a special one designed for babies who spit up a lot. Needless to say, the formula sucks, it keeps clogging the nipples, and causing endless amounts of frustration for all of us. It has also clogged the baby right up. She just spent the last 45(!!!) minutes getting red in the face and grunting like crazy. When I changed her diaper, there was a large, egg shaped, rock hard offering waiting for me. Poor baby. Ian is working late tonight too, I would have liked to have shown him, just to prove that I'm not exaggerating. Tonight, she will drink applejuice, and I don't think we will wait till the tub of fancy formula is finished before we switch her back to the old stuff.

Mary

Tomorrow Mary is 5 months old. I can’t believe that she has been with us for that long. It’s strange, sometimes it feels like she has been with us forever, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday that she first came home. She looks much the same to me as she did when she came home, but I know she isn’t. I look at pictures of her when she was a newborn, and it is amazing how much she has changed in less than half a year.

Now Mary can laugh, and although it’s still difficult to get those giggles out of her, it is amazingly rewarding to do so. She has some consonants, she says “agah, nwaah,” and when she is upset she says “bbbbbbb, mmmmm.” She hasn’t rolled over yet, which some people might be concerned about, but she works really hard at it, and I hardly give her any time on her tummy. She is actually starting to enjoy tummy time now, so she spends more time. When she is on her tummy, she kicks so hard that she cam move from one end of the couch to the other. She found her feet last week, and now most of her time is spent with one foot in her hand, I don’t think she has quite figured out what to do with it, but I’m sure that some day soon we will find her with her foot in her mouth.

Mary moved into her crib last week, and out of our bedroom. She was so good about it; it didn’t bother her at all. The first night she slept in her crib, I cried a little (pathetic). I kept saying to Ian “if I can’t handle this, how am I going to deal with kindergarten, or going back to work?” I know school is a long ways off, but work isn’t, and the thought of leaving her with someone else to raise her makes me ill.

Before Mary came, I never really thought I would be a good mum, and I wasn’t sure that I would enjoy it. Now that she has come, I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. I’ve said it before, and I will say it now. I have never, ever been as happy as I am now that she is a part of my life. Every day, I am so thankful to her for brightening my life up. Even on the days where she is a monster, and they are often lately with her teething, I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. Nearly everything I do, I do for her, and when I’m not doing something for her, she is never out of my mind.

My friend, who has a 7 year old, said that she has finally realised the saddest thing about being a parent. No matter how much your child loves you, they will never love you as much as you love them. I love my parents so much, but now I know that what I feel for them must only be a fraction of the love they have for me. It makes me want to call them and just let them know how much I love them.

Finally

I am turning into a terrible lollyblogger. I havnt really got an excuse, it's not like Im amazingly busy or anything, I spend much of my day hanging around the house with Mary, and although she can be quite demanding, I do have alot of spare time.

Purgatory was last night. Wow. I havnt had that much fun at a game since before my last character, Bridget Kierson ran away. My character was embraced as a child, so although I cannot be 4 feet tall, I did my best to look childlike. Except for the alarming cleavage that I had on display, I think it went pretty well. Looking at adorable little me, one can hardly believe that I am a raving sociopath. I ended up being handed over to the Tremere (boo hiss) as a punishment for a crime that I did not commit, and it was great fun being as horiffically evil and machiavellian as I possibly could be.

Back to the real world. The last couple of weeks have been, well, routine. What can I report on? Mary is teething, and she goes through periods of inconsolable screaming. Luckily, these periods seem to be far between, and really the only sign that anything is going on is the amazing amounts of slobber she produces. For a little creature, she has a LOT of drool. Other than that she has been pretty good. She has graduated to the next diaper size. After reading Dooce's recent entry on her blog about diaper catastrophies, Ive been a little worried. Mary is also right at the top weight for size 2's, and the very bottom for 3's. So far so good, though, we havnt had any exploding diapers yet.

I got to see the Queen last week, which was fan-frickin-tastic! Me, my friend who does not wish to be named in any blogs, and Trish's little girl Madi braved the rain and wind to go to Commonwealth to see her. It was worth the wet and cold, to be sure. The program was terrible, most of the entertainment had backed out because of the weather. When the honour guard and band came marching out though, it was so exciting. Then the Queen finally appeared (a little late due to the weather conditions). I nearly cried, but I managed to keep it in, I didnt want little Madi to laugh at me. It really was an amazing experience. When we all sang "God Save the Queen," and she was standing there...wow. Also, there was a massed pipe and drum band there, gosh I love bagpipes. Maybe I should take it up?

Willow

Today Anne and I were talking on MSN, and got on the topic of pets. I told her about my sweet little Willow, who passed away almost 2 years ago, and now I cant get him off my mind. Willow was a special cat, and he loved me to distraction, and I adored him. He was a soft grey colour, with white patches, and big green eyes. He slept with me every single night for the 3 years I had him, and if I stayed up late, he would sit there at my feet looking highly annoyed, until I picked him up and took him to bed. Willow was always sickly, he was allergic to food, and was on some very expensive stuff that didn't quite do the trick, but made things better. Every once in a while, I would have to give him the drug prednisone, which is what eventually did him in. That and the fact that he was "special."

Willow was special in a retarded sense. He saw the world very differently than the rest of us. In one apartment that we lived in, he was afraid of the livingroom carpet. Don't ask me why, he just was. Bounce across the carpet, touching it maybe twice as he went from the front entrance lino, to the couch, and then he would leap from the couch to the kitchen lino. If we tossed him onto the carpet, he would spring up about 3 feet into the air, and then dash off to hide under the bed, or the safety of the kitchen counter. The next apartment we lived in, he had a box that he ate on. It was an old Christmas tree box, that was in the livingroom, and for some reason, he refused to eat with the other cats out of the bowls. When we moved into the house we are in now, we couldn't find a spot for him to eat, which was the beginning of the end, for my sweet boy.

I went to Regina for a week, and before I went I was worried, but when I got home, it was apparent that he was sick. He was nothing but skin and bones, and seemed weak. I brought him to the Veterinary clinic where I worked, and he tried to eat us all. Willow had so many bad experiences at the vet, by this time he was unwilling to submit to anything. We had to sedate him just so the vet could examine him, and we could take blood. It turned out that his liver wasn't working well. At this point, I could have hospitalized him, but I decided instead to take him home and try to treat him there. He never got better, just worse and worse. Even when he was at his sickest though, he still cuddled up with me every night, although by now he would come under the covers with me, he was cold.

I remember the last night that he slept with me, he was so pathetic and tiny, just a little bag of bones huddled up against me. The next day, I took him back to the vet. By this point, he didn't even have the strength to fight anymore, he just lay there limply. We put a feeding tube in so we could force feed him. He had come down with a condition common in cats when they don't eat, called Hepatic Lipidosis, or Fatty Liver Syndrome. Basically, if your cat doesn't eat enough, his body will start depositing fat on the liver, and damage it. The only cure for it is to nurse the cat through it by force feeding them. Anyways, I was working, and I would go back to his kennel to check on him every 30 minutes or so. He was so weak he could hardly lift his head, but I was confident that we were doing the best we could for him, and that he would get through this. Near the end of my shift, I went back to check on him, and he didn't lift his head at all when I spoke to him. He had choked on his own vomit, and died. I still cry about it now, but then, I was absolutely devastated.

Anyways, I know that he had a good life, he was so special and loving, and I know he was happy. If anyone else had gotten him from the SPCA I'm sure things would have been different, they wouldn't have tolerated his sickness like I did. I still cant help but feel guilty. There are clients who come into the clinic with animals who are clearly dying or in pain, and the kindest thing to do is to euthanize them, but they are too blind, or maybe selfish, to see it. I hate that I became one of those people with Willow, and I just hope that he can forgive me for everything that I put him through.

I still miss Willow, and although I have other cats, who I love desperately, and will be just as devastated when they go, I will never have another one like him. I will never find another cat that special, who loves me as much as Willow did.

For the Harry Potter fans

SLYTHERIN! You scored 56% Slytherin, 16% Ravenclaw, 32% Gryffindor, and 28% Hufflepuff!

Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, These cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. Slytherins are known for their ambition, guile, and Machiavellian sensiblities.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 94% on Slytherin You scored higher than 13% on Ravenclaw You scored higher than 20% on Gryffindor You scored higher than 32% on Hufflepuff

Link: The Sorting Hat Test written by leeannslytherin on OkCupid Free Online Dating

In case I ever move to the U.S.A.

>

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Miami

60% Austin

60% Seattle

55% Denver

55% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Four months

Wow. Mary passed the 4 month milestone this weekend. It is hard to believe that she has only been a part of her life for that long, I just cant imagine what life was like without her. I do suspect the house was much cleaner though.

Last week Mary started to laugh. It was absolutely wonderful. Ian was sitting there, being an ass, and her smile got so big, I guess she had to verbalize. Ian kept her laughing for about 15 minutes, basically by yelling "ahhhh!" in her face over and over again. The next time she laughed was after I changed her diaper. I had to shriek "bouncy bouncy!" while bouncing her up and down on the bed. It's hard work making that kid laugh.

She also stepped up her food consumption. Before, she ate about 30 ounces of formula a day, which is a respectable amount. Now, she is at around 45! I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but formula is expensive stuff! So yesterday, I started to give her rice cereal once a day. Every time I shoved the spoon into her mouth, she would give me this look of pure betrayal, and spit it out. After trying a few hundred times, she eventually started to understand the whole process, and only about 50% of the cereal ended up on her face. I have some cute pictures, if I ever get around to getting that Picasa thing, I shall post them here.

Anyways, other than baby stuff, the weekend was good. I managed to pass on my stomach bug to Ian in time for Purgatory, I felt fine, but he was hurting hardcore. The game went well enough, it was interesting, and I listened in on all sorts of conversations. I still miss Bridget desperately, but I am really starting to get into this new character. I think it might be cool to carry her over to the Victorian era, if she lives, she does have a lot of problems that need to be dealt with pretty quick, or she wont.

Bad sign

You know that it's a bad sign when you mutter to yourself "it's been a long day," and it isn't even 7 am. This morning Mary woke us at 5, and the instant I opened my eyes, I knew things were going to be bad. You see, Mary had spent the weekend exploding her diapers with yuckyness that I do not need to describe here due to a gastro-intestinal upset. She is better now, but has kindly passed it on to me. So. She woke us up, I whimpered cause my stomach hurt. I changed her diaper, got her bottle ready, fed her, burped her, all the while concentrating very very hard on not tossing my cookies. Unfortunately, when Mary decided to turn into "exorcist baby" and fountain out all the milk that I had previously fed her all over me and the bed, my concentration broke. We had chili for supper last night.

I will never eat chili again.

bye bye birdie(s)

Yay! The birds are finally gone. Those bloody budgies were the biggest mistake I've made since I brought home the giant greyhound. I guess I'm just a cat person, which makes sense, as I have four.

Speaking of cats, my second oldest, Brock, had a bit of an adventure this weekend. This morning I woke up, and only saw 3 cats, which isn't that odd, Brock tends to sleep downstairs. What was odd was that he never turned up when I filled up the food dish. I asked Ian if he had seen the cat, and Ian swore up and down that he had earlier in the morning, so I wandered around the house for about 45 minutes, calling Brock. I was terrified that I would find him dead on the furnace, or under the bed or something, and I started to get frantic. I went outside on the off chance that he had escaped, and who was standing at the door with leaves hanging off his whiskers? You guessed it. Brock. He was quite pleased with himself as he marched in to the kitchen to eat his breakfast, and the other cats were all over him, sniffing his butt to see where he had been. As far as we can figure, he escaped last night when I left the house to go to my Angels game (which RAWKED! by the way). So, when the other cats were put out on their harnesses to enjoy the weather this afternoon, I judged that he needed to stay inside.

American deserters

Now, I have an opinion or two on this, and they are quite strong. First, Ive gotta say, I DO NOT agree with the war in Iraq, I think it's stupid and pointless. That being said, I think that people who desert the army should be shot. I mean, honestly, why on earth did you join the army in the first place, if you arent willing to fulfill the job that you signed up for? Did you think the Army was a fun camp where you learn to shoot rifles, and that there would never be a war? You live in AMERICA, for Gods sake! Dubya is your president! If the Americans werent blowing someone up, they would be lost. You see, when you sign up to be in the Military, you are commiting yourself to do your "duty", to follow orders. If you didnt want to go to war, then you shouldnt have joined the military, right? The military is not one of those things that you can do when it's fun, and drop like a hot potato the minute the going gets rough...and they make that clear when you first enlist.

Anyways, I think that Canada should not let American deserters shelter here. Every single person in the american military chose to be there, they should have known better. Now, if Dubya decided on a draft, that is something else entirely.

To whoever invented Baby Einstein DVD's

Thank You. Thank you so very much. I think I love you.

Joys of being a Mum.

I have just discovered one of the great joys that comes with being a mother. No sick days. No calling in sick. Nothing. What other job in the world do you not get paid for, are you on call 24/7, and you cant even take a sick day. For crying out loud, you cant even take a vacation without taking your job with you! Blech.

Mary has somehow managed to shove the entire head of her stuffed giraffe into her mouth, I had best go save the poor thing before she consumes it.

How to drive me crazy

Scream bloody murder every time I stop moving when we are shopping. I can't buy you pretty dresses for you to barf all over if you never let me stop!

Why we do not use smoke signals in the 21st century

I turned on the TV the other day to watch Regis and Kelly, and instead I saw this.

Close up of nondescript smokepipe, perhaps somewhere in Rome. Grayish smoke is pouring from it.

News announcer: Yes, there is definitely smoke coming from the pipe, and it looks white! Yes, I'm sure that is white smoke. What do you see there, Tom?

Tom: Hello? Can you hear me?

News announcer: Yes Tom, we can hear you. Tell us what you see.

Tom: Hello? Hello? Yes. Yes, as you can surely see, there is smoke coming from the pipe! This is a momentous day to be sure! Oh! The bells are ringing! Can you hear the...

News announcer (cutting Tom off): Tom, we have just received a report that the smoke coming from the pipe should actually be BLACK smoke. What do you have to say about that?

Tom: Yes, the smoke is definitely white, the bells are ringing, a new Pope has been elected!

News announcer: Tom, we have just been given word that the bells are actually the hour bells, it is now 6 PM in Rome.

Tom: Ah. Yes, it is 6 PM. I am now just being told that there are reports that the smoke should be black, not white.

News announcer: I see, Tom. So this means that the Cardinals have not decided on a new Pope yet?

Tom: That is correct. Hello? Hello, can you hear me? (loud roaring drowns out Tom for a moment.)

News announcer: Tom? Tom? Can you describe the mood in St. Peters Square for us?

Tom: The bells! The bells! The bells are ringing again! This is a momentous time! They have elected a new Pope! The smoke is white!

Another close up of the smoke coming from the pipe, still grayish.

Anyways, that went on for about 45 minutes, until the new pope, Benedict XVI wandered out onto the balcony.

Both Anne and Dave have already expressed their concerns about the new pope. I agree with them completely, but, honestly, I'm not Roman Catholic, so, I guess I shouldn't be concerned. I am however concerned. The new Pope is old, 78, so chances are he wont be around for very long, of course, that could be a bad thing too. There is a papal prophecy that this pope is the 2nd last pope, and he is following the prophecy to the letter...he even picked the name he should have. Anyways, if the next Pope picks the name Peter, run for your bomb shelter. It's the devil incarnate, hijacking the RC church, and the end of the world is not far behind.

New Job

Today I started a babysitting job. The child that I babysit is an 11 month old boy, who is all in all a very good baby. He has a cold right now, and let me tell you, I never realized such a little creature could produce so much snot! Other than that, and being sad that I'm not his mummy, he was a sweetie. He didn't mind hanging out with me, and playing with his toys, and even though he was sad, he seemed to get comfort from cuddling with me. I think the hardest thing is that he just isn't mine. With Mary, I can understand her non-verbal (and very loudly verbal) cues and signs. I know which cry means she is hungry, how she looks when she is tired, when her diaper is wet, when she wants cuddles, when she wants to be left alone. With him, it's all a guessing game. Another fun thing I experienced for the first time today is cloth diapers. ICKY! Thank God we decided to go with the environmentally unfriendly disposables. Cloth diapers are gross.

Shelly took Mary today, and Ian will have her tomorrow, but after that, I've got to bring her along. I'm a little nervous about that, two babies at once. I think I can handle it, but it's going to be hard. I mean, I'm being paid to look after Jonah, but Mary is my own baby. Hopefully it wont be an issue.

Other than the new baby job, things in my life are pretty normal. The cats are being cats, destructive at times, but joys in my life. Mary is doing well. She has started to work really hard at pulling herself up into a sitting position, I don't think it will be much longer before she can sit up all by herself. She makes me so proud, it's crazy. I love her so much, if I think about it too much, I start to cry. It's odd, I've never loved anything the way I love her...I didn't think it was possible to love someone so much.

The weekend so far

Well, so far my weekend has been mostly enjoyable, which is great, although weekends mean very little to me now. What is the difference between a Saturday and a Wednesday in baby jail?

Anyways, Friday was a lot of fun. Ian and I went over to Shelly's place, and along with a few other people we played Cranium, which Jackie and Ryan won, and Shelly and Zac lost (They were at a bit of a disadvantage, Zac is only 7). After that we played Settlers of Catan. I must admit, I was a little leery at first, I'm not a fan of strategy games, they tend to make me loose my temper...I soon discovered that Settlers of Catan ROCKS! I have to figure out how to get Shelly to invite us over to play that game more often!

Saturday night the Titanic sunk. Iain and Val put a tonne of work into the production, as I expected. I went in the afternoon to help with the setup, and they were pretty much done. They knew I was coming so had kindly saved me one little task so I was able to feel helpful. The actual dinner was fabulous. The food was fantastic, and Iain and Val actually got to sit down and eat! That being said, I didn't have a lot of fun, though it had nothing to do with the production itself. We should have never brought the baby (duh). Ian was busy, so I was desperately lonely, a little bored, and stressed right out about Mary. I was terrified that she would make noise, and when she did, I was frightfully embarrassed. It would have been easier if I had a little help, but Ian was playing his character. I hardly got to see him let alone speak with him all night long. I've learned my lesson though, next time, I'll just stay home with the baby. All in all, Mary was amazingly well behaved, but I was pretty stressed, and couldn't enjoy myself anyways.

Today I slept in, Ian doesn't work, so he was kind enough to get up with Mary. I think this afternoon we may go to West Edmonton mall, but I think the more likely thing is laundry, dishes, and raking the lawn.

I had something to say....

So, last night as I was falling asleep, I thought of a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to say on my blog. That was last night, this is now, and I havnt a clue what it was. Sigh. Ian says I should write things down when Im thinking them, but it was 2am, and I needed to sleep.

My birthday went really well. Ian came home from work, and we took the baby over to Viv's place, she had kindly offered to look after Mary for us. The plan was to go to the Keg for lunch, then catch a movie...unfortunately for us, the Keg doesnt open till four. Stupid bloody place. So, we went to a movie first, too bad that our timing was off, so the only movie that was starting at that time was Miss Congeniality 2. It wasnt terrible, kinda silly, but not too bad. Definately not Sin City though. Then we went to the Keg for supper...yum. It was definately worth the wait. I ate a large portion of flesh and crab meat. mmmmmm. After the Keg, we went to Gerald and Katherines place, ate cake and gossiped with them and Anne & Janet. It was a very pleasant day all around.

Anyways, if I ever remember what it was that I wanted to say, I will post again today...

It's my birthday!

So. On Annes blog, there is quite a discussion going on around some comments that someone made in response to some comments Anne made about the Roman Catholic Church. Now. Some things have been said about the Anglican church by a friend of mine, and I just cant take it anymore. What drives me absolute bonkers is people who badmouth the CofE because the only reason that it came around was so the King could divorce his wife. Grr. That is NOT the only reason. The political and religious climate at the time required a change, a break from the church in Rome. The people were restive, and most of them were very upset with the corrupt church in Rome. There were no bibles in English, there was no chance for the masses to actually understand the faith that they were forced to have. All they saw was thier money being taken by the church. They saw Cardinal Thomas Wolsey living in splendour, yet demanding that his flock give more and more to the church. The Anglican church came about for much the same reasons as most protastant denominations did, and in the same period of time. The fact that the catalyst was that Henry wanted to divorce Katherine means very little to me, and to most Anglicans, I think. It does not change the integrity of the church today. The fact that the Anglican church adapted out of political convenience, as Eman claims, can be applied to most Christian denominations. Some person did not agree with something that the mother church taught, and started his own church that he did agree with...the fact that that someone for the Anglican church was a king does not make it any different!!

So there. Im not sure how much sense that made, but I do get a little upset about things at times. I think that it is one thing to have a discussion about the merits and flaws about a particular religion, but to dismiss a denomination outright for one thing in the distant past? Come on.

Some neat memes

The Lady You scored 26% Cardinal, 48% Monk, 67% Lady, and 27% Knight!

Chaste and pure, you are a good person. You try to help others and do your duty to your family. However, this duty involves you being sold off to a local noble house in order to cement relations between your families. But you know it's for a greater good, and besides you will retain all the comforts and glamour of your position regardless of if you're your father's or you husband's property.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 19% on Cardinal You scored higher than 69% on Monk You scored higher than 99% on Lady You scored higher than 5% on Knight

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on Ok Cupid

Caliphate of Baghdad You scored 55% for Education, 73% for Religion, 43% for Military Might, and 41% for Decentralization!

If ever there was an example of greatness, faith, art, wonder and the highest level of medievel life in one place, it was Baghdad. How ironic that Baghdad was once the center of trade and education in the World, the Jewel of Islam and the Envy of All. To be amongst peers in Baghdad back then is to mean you are a scholar and a saint sir (or madam), laboring the mind in the name of God. You seek knowledge above all and have a deep love and personal faith with God. Relish these warm nights in the desert sands, explore the world around you while you can, in mysterious Baghdad.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 16% on Education You scored higher than 99% on Religion You scored higher than 44% on Military Might You scored higher than 73% on Decentralizatio

Link: The Ancient Civiliazation for you Test written by Rowdyandy on Ok Cupid

Sinking into lollybloggerdom

I have recently been accused of being a lollyblogger. I admit, I havnt had alot to say this week, but at least I have posted at least once in April, unlike some peoples significant others!

Anyways, I never said my life was interesting....I suppose I could come on and describe the dirty diapers (like the one Mary is currently filling) I change every day, but I suspect that would get kind of old. Im not a writer like Dave or Anne, so I have a hard time being witty and coming across as intelligent in my blog too, and I hate to just blather on about nothing.

My mother is still determined that we should move to Vancouver. She seems to think that it isnt that expensive at all to live there, and we would do just fine. I personally think she is on crack. Gas there is 104.9 cents/litre. Her rent for a 2 bedroom appartment is double what we pay on our mortgage here. Everything is far away. I dont want to live in a stupid little appartment. I DONT WANT TO MOVE TO VANCOUVER, MOTHER! There, now that I have that off my chest. I mean, Vancouver really is a lovely place, and I have always wanted to end up there. Now that I am a grown up though, I have other concerns, like being able to pay for groceries, being able to own a house...that sort of thing. I think that because Ian and I both basically qualify as unskilled labour, we would do quite poorly, and never ever get ahead.

The titanic dinner theatre is coming up on saturday. Im quite excited about it, although Im sad that I havnt got a character. I went to the actors practice with Ian last night, and got quite jealous of everyone who has speaking parts. I did get to read some parts of the people who werent there, but Mary got antsy, and we had to go home early. The best part of the thing last year was that they put us to work! It was lots of fun having a part, and serving tables. Anyways, Janet has said that she has a skirt I can borrow (hopefully it will fit, I have become quite large), but I have to get over there some time to pick it up, and I havnt got their phone number (hint hint, Anne). At least with a skirt, I wont like totally ridiculous.

My baby speaks Klingon

Yesterday, while watching Star Trek TNG, I realised that the reason I cannot understand what Mary wants is that she speaks Klingon, and I do not. I am not sure that I know how to rectify this problem, if I learn to speak Klingon to communicate with her, some people may accuse me of being a geek, which is obviously not the truth. I suppose I will just have to deal with her shrieking at me on occasion, I really dont want to know what rude names she is calling me anyways.

Dave recieved an email from the Purgatory organizer inbox the other day accusing him and the other organizers of "being a bit of a game Nazis." Firstly, anyone whose grammar is that terrible really doesnt deserve being taken seriously (Im not saying my grammar is perfect, but come on!), second, if you dont like the game, have the balls to come out and say so. I will admit that I have had my share of problems with Purgatory, but you cant please everyone, right? Yes, there are parts of the game which are scripted, but I really dont think that things could progress properly without a bit of that stuff. Anyways, my point here is, if you dont like the game, quit, and if you do...well, maybe we all ought to take a moment out and tell the organizers that we are enjoying ourselves. People tend to be alot louder when they complain, and it's time for that to change.

Scott is cancelling his Angels game. Sigh. Thats really too bad, but I guess Im not surprised. He is such a busy guy, and seems to be doing really well at the DJ thing. Im a little disapointed as I just got back into it, and there was the potential for lots of cool stuff to happen to my character, but oh well. Real life is more important for some people.

Uh oh, I hear Klingon curses coming from the bedroom, better go see what my little warrior wants now.

The Pope, and Terry Schiavo

So, the Pope is dying, and Terry Schaivo is dead. Im not roman catholic, although I think that Anglicanism is as close to Roman Catholicism as you can get, without actually being one. Anyways, Im not an RC, and I dont pretend to understand alot of what they do. I often wonder...do they really think that it is Gods will to keep people living artificially? I mean, it is one thing to cure a disease, and allow a person to continue on in a relatively functional manner, but to keep someone alive, so they can lay in a bed and drool for 15 years while their muscles atrophy...it all seems kind of barbaric to me.

My father thinks the reason they havnt let the Pope die sooner is that when he does, everyone in the Vatican looses their jobs. I didnt realise that he was right, until I was watching the news today. I guess there are two factions, those that want the Pope to die, so they can jockey for his position, and those that dont, because they will loosed their jobs among the elite.

Purgatory is tonight, it should be an interesting game. Im a little concerned about my character, all of a sudden I have alot on my plate with her. Malkavians may be fun friends, but they tend to be destructive. Tomorow I have a D&D game all afternoon, and then another one that evening! Yay! A weekend of geeking and dice!