Friday, December 22, 2006


We have a culprit! It is the human herpes virus-6B. Also known as Baby Measles (although it is completely unrelated to the measles virus, for which Mary is vaccinated against). The rash appeared this morning, just like it ought too according to the reading I've done since being told what it likely is. Apparantly the rash is the tail end of the illness, so she should be feeling better by tomorrow for the long drive to Regina, though today she is feeling awfully miserable.

Speaking of miserable, there is nothing worse than a 2 year old with diarrhea, unless you toss in the ability and desire to take off the diaper full of diarrhea during nap time. Ugh. I would much rather find her caked in vomit like I did on Wednesday than caked in liquid poo like I did yesterday.

Anyways, I'm off to clean the house (or at the very least to procrastinate cleaning the house). Again, I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 21, 2006


Gosh, it's been a while since I updated this thing, hasn't it?

Things have been going well for me. No fainting spells and no more trips to the hospital. It would seem that things are evening out, though I'll not hold my breath. The weekend went well. Saturday was my cookie exchange which which went very well, I think. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and there was lots of food and cookies to be had. Saturday was also the Christmas party at J & R's place, and it was really quite fantastic. Everyone was there, there was lots of wonderful food, and the gift exchange went well too. I was given the Fionavar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay, and I'm extremely happy about it. It's the only book by that author that I have not read, and I have wanted to read it for quite some time.

Sunday we got up earlyish, went out for brunch with G & K, went shopping (stupid, but we finished all our shopping for Miss Mary), went to Ians aunt and uncles place, and finally went to a restaurant for Ians second jobs Christmas get together.

Monday started out okay, Mary and I slept in, and then hung out on the couch lounging around. Unfortunately she woke up from her nap with a 40.4 degree fever. We've been fighting with this bug that she seems to have picked up ever since. Her fever is up and down, she's exhausted, crabby and obviously feels pretty crummy. She goes through lifeless phases where all she wants to do is cuddle close and moan softly. Oh, and did I mention the diarrhea? It's brutal. To top it off, yesterday she woke up from her nap in a puddle of vomit, her hair was crusty, her clothes were soaked...yuck. We are driving to Regina on Saturday for the holidays, I really hope she is feeling better by then, or it'll be a long 8 hours in the car...

Anyways, I may not get around to blogging again before we leave, and it's unlikely that I'll get a chance in Regina, so...Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

Friday, December 15, 2006

I feel better

I really do have a great doctor, I'm so glad that I decided to stick with him. Yesterday I called his office to describe what Nadine saw during my fainting spell, but he wasn't in the office till next week. I left a long message with his nurse and she promised to put it on his desk for him to find first thing Monday. This morning he called me from home. He had popped by the office for some reason or another and saw the message, and called me. He said that it is unlikely a seizure disorder as I actually remember blacking out, apparantly when the electrics of your brain go wonky you tend to forget about 30 minutes before the seizure actually happens. He suspects that it is a blood pressure/inner ear issue and intends to harass an ENT and a neurologist to see me sooner rather than later just to be safe. He also put my mind to rest about the bleed and the fact that I am still bleeding, as well as the health of my baby. He says that what happens in these cases is that the bleed starts, and then clots. After a week or two, the clot begins to "self destruct" or liquify, and that is the bleeding that I am having now. He says the fact that I am bleeding is a good sign in his mind, but that I still need to be careful; no intercourse, no heavy lifting (including Mary, yeah right). He also said that although they call what is happening a Threatened Miscarriage, it happens for very different reasons than an actual miscarriage, and the chances that there is something actually wrong with the baby itself are slim. Which is a huge weight off my mind. So, I feel better, things are being worked on, and hopefully all this misery will fade away some time soon.

As for baking, I wasn't fair last night. I love to bake, even if I'm not terribly good at it. I think it would be a lot easier if I had more than one foot of counter space to work on, and I'm sure I would enjoy it more. I still have no idea when I am going to make the remaining 50 cookies that need to be made by tomorrow afternoon, but I guess I'll figure something out.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I Am Not a Baker

When I was growing up Christmas was always a fantastic time of year. My Mum would spend hours baking wonderful cookies and squares for us, we were never without goodies. It was great, and I'll always cling to those memories. A pity Mary will have to do without similar memories. I do not reccomend attempting to bake Berlinerkranzer cookies. They suck. They're stupid and I hate them. I have made 24 of them, and the rest of the cookies I make for the exchange will be whipped shortbread. It doesn't get easier than whipped shortbread, I can do easy. I can also make mincemeat, and mincemeat tarts are easy if you use frozen pastry. That is all my family will ever get from me.

Goody, I cannot express how much you awe me with your cooking and baking things that don't come in packages marked Pilsbury.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

My Body Hates Me

And I have to say, the feeling is becoming mutual.

The weekend started off okay. I babysat for Jonah on both Friday and Saturday nights so that his Mum and Dad could go to christmas parties. It was okay, Mary and Jonah had fun racing around like maniacs together, they both went to bed very well, and Ian and I watched movies till Trevor and Nadine got home.

We had a lot to do on Sunday, it's Ians only day off, and since the car problems it is the only day I have access to the car. We need groceries, baking supplies and I still have to get a gift for the gift exchange that's coming up this Saturday. So that was the plan when we woke up, before I realized that once again I was bleeding like crazy. So, instead of going shopping, I called my Dr. (I have his pager number now) and he sent me in to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't have to spend any time at all in the ER because of the call. The Doctor there checked things out, and decided to admit me. So, I spent all day Sunday and all day Monday hanging around the hospital. I was supposed to get an IV, but after the first attempt, all the nurses were afraid of my awful little veins and it never happened. I was told that I would have an ultrasound on Monday morning, so I sat around my room till they finally came for me at 2:30 in the afternoon. The U/S was good, baby is still in there alive and kicking, but so is the "bleed" which no one can explain. I finally got home on Monday afternoon at 4 after being told that there was nothing to be done, and to just carry on. Sigh.

Tuesday I babysat Jonah again. I wasn't feeling well, but I packed Mary up and headed for the bus. I hate taking the bus. When we got to Jonahs place, I promptly fainted, terrifying poor Nadine. My fainting spells are really horrid experiences, and now that I finally have a witness other than Mary, I'm a little worried that it's more than fainting. From what I experience, I get this horrid strong sense of deja vu. Wherever I am, the bus stop, my bedroom, wherever, suddenly becomes a terrifying place, everything in it menacing. At this point I know what is going to happen, so I can usually stumble over to somewhere like the couch or the bed, so when I fall I won't hurt myself. Then my ears start roaring, and blackness washes in from the sides of my vision. When I wake up, I'm confused and frightened, and the sides of my tongue always hurt from being bitten. Nadine called me this morning and said that when it happened at her place my eyes rolled back in my head, I started moaning, and my arms and jaw went really rigid. Then right before I came too, I started jerking a bit before opening my eyes (poor woman, no wonder she looked so frightened). I thought I had hit my head, but according to her I didn't, I just sat down in the chair, smiled, said something in response to her, and then wen't all weird.

So, I'm trying not to freak out, but I'm really getting worried about things. What the hell is going on with my body anyways? I almost wish that I would just miscarry and get over with it, and then, when I think that, I'm overcome with guilt. I just don't know what to do. I've decided not to bother the doctor if I start bleeding again (which I did last night), not until I'm bleeding really badly. There just seems to be no point in spending all that time in the hospital just to get a shrug from the doctors.

Now I have a whole lot to do before Saturday. I'm doing a cookie exchange Saturday afternoon, and I still have to get a gift for the party that evening. We still have a couple of Christmas gifts to get for Mary, and I still haven't even started Christmas cards. I suspect that no one will be getting cards from us this year, which really annoys me.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Fish out of Water

Geez, does it ever get better around here? Really, things aren't that bad, I'm a chronic worrier and pessimist, but for crying out loud. I know that problems breathing are relatively common late in a pregnancy, but I'm still pretty early for that sort of thing. I'll start at the beginning. Yesterday I was walking with Mary to catch the bus, it's a three block walk, nothing too hard, not to mention the fact that Miss Mary dawdles like crazy. It is tough to push the stroller through feet of snow that people haven't shovelled from their front sidewalks, but again, not that hard. Anyways, I got on the bus, and started gasping like a fish out of water, it was really really strange. My lungs felt like they were bursting, they were overfull. I kept gasping for air, but my problem was that I couldn't seem to breathe out enough to take any fresh air in. It lasted for about 5 minutes or so before I was able to breathe again. I know I'm in bad shape, but not that bad, I don't think. It happened again last night, and again this morning. I keep thinking I ought to go to the doctor, but I've been seen him every week for the last 4, I really don't want him to think that I'm a nutter.

Other than that though, things are going really well. I'm feeling much better physically other than the fish thing (oh, and the pimples, good God the pimples), Mary is delightful and wonderful and so much fun. Her vocabulary is growing every day, it just amazes me. Her latest favourite thing to say is "Thank You!" and it just thrills me every time she says it. She's really good at getting her needs and wants across to just about anyone who is around her, and she just loves people. She's so social and sweet, I can't believe we are so lucky. Pray that we are lucky twice, cause I suspect we are in for a shock with the next baby.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Trees Are Thinning

Well, it's sunday afternoon and things are looking good. I stopped bleeding completely on Thursday, and on Friday I had another ultrasound and saw the baby again. Heart still beating, legs and arms still kicking madly. I'm also officially into my second trimester now, which is also a good sign. I really believe that we are out of the woods for now and that life can get back to a semblance of normalicy. My Obstatritian doesn't need to see me till the new year unless something else happens. He did say that we will need to keep a close eye on things later on in the pregnancy. Because of this episode, I am now at increased risk of pre-term labour and growth problems in the 3rd trimester. I'm having a hard time worrying about that though...if this baby is born a few weeks early then it won't be the giant that Miss Mary was, right?

Financially things are, well, the same really. It's not so bad, we have some plans. We spoke with a bankruptcy trustee and we just can't justify it. We have a decent amount of RRSP's, which we would lose completely if we declared bankruptcy. So, instead, we will look at cashing in all our RRSP's, paying off the bulk of our debts and hoping for the best. That way, while we lose our savings, we don't have to do the whole bankrupt thing, and really, I can't see the point in saving for the future when you can't make buy groceries in the present.

We have some fantastic friends here who are really making us reconsider moving away. The offers of support and help have been amazing and somewhat overwhelming, and while we are far too proud to accept a lot of the help that has been offered, we appreciate it so very much. While we don't have a lot of family here, the friends we do have are so close to us that I really can't help but think of them as family.

Now, on to better things. Can you freaking believe it's December already? Mary's birthday is in less than a month, and so is Christmas. I bought my Christmas cards, and I really have to get my act together and start mailing them. It takes forever for Canada Post to deliver anything anywhere, and I still have a couple of cards and packages that I need to send to the States, which will take even longer.

I was convinced to put on a cookie exchange again this year, last years was a great success but I had decided not to do it again. I won't be hosting it in my house though, so I decided to go ahead with it. We have 11 people this year, so we decided that instead of a dozen cookies per person we would only do 8. It cuts down marginally on the amount of baking that we need to do, but that's still a lot of cookies. I've decided to make another childhood favourite called Berlinerkranzer cookies and I'm also going to make candied orange peels to go with them. Wish me luck, while the peels are relatively easy I've been told, when I told my mum I would be making 88 Berlinerkranzers she laughed at me for about an hour.

I still have several jars of mincemeat that I made a few years ago, I'm really looking forward to having that stuff, three years of soaking in the booze and getting yummy. I think I will have to make some more this January though. stomach is grumbling at the thought of mince meat tarts and hard sauce...suddenly I'm in the Christmas frame of mind...maybe we'll go to Ikea and buy a cheap tree this afternoon...