Sunday, February 26, 2006
I'm not thrilled about this, but it's awfully hard to find a job for him when he's out of town, and when he's back we only have 10 days to find something, or we are out of luck. Not that I intend to stop trying, if we do manage to find something in those 10 days, there is no way he will be turning it down. We just don't want to end up with absolutely no income at all. That would be a nightmare.
So there you have it...a wee bit of an update for now. We'll see how it pans out.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Ian does not expect a lot from me as the stay at home parent in our lives. He does not expect me to cook fancy meals, to dress pretty, to take dancing lessons, to keep the house spotless, or to do routine maintenance on the household appliances. He does not want me to wash his truck in my bathing suit, or get breast augmentation (like I need it anyways). The things he does bug me about, loosing a little weight etc. are things that he knows preoccupy my mind anyways, and to be honest, I know that he doesnt care that I am a little fat, he wants me to be happy with myself, and he wants me to be healthy.
So the fact that I feel guilty about the house being a mess, about the dishes not getting done, about not being a perfect and beautiful wife...where does that come from? I feel guilty asking him to take out the garbage when he gets home from work (though not guilty enough not to ask him). I worry constantly that he thinks all I do is sit around all day eating popcorn. You see, I have never, ever been a tidy person. I'm much better now than I used to be...but if you come over to my house you will not see the spotlessness that my mothers house used to be. The floors need to be cleaned, things need to be put away, toys are scattered from one end of the house to the other. Cooking a supper that doesn't come in a package is a big deal to me. I get frazzled and overwhelmed by the mess, and unless I'm feeling incredibly manic, it doesn't get cleaned up.
While I do think that I do a lot around the house, I also have to admit that I am incredibly lazy. When Mary is napping and I could be doing things around the house, more often than not I find myself sitting on the couch reading a book, in the bath, having a nap, or playing on the computer. The things that need to get done do get done, the dishes are washed, the bathroom is clean(ish...how clean can you keep your bathroom with a great big hole in the drywall anyways?), Mary is fed, watered, and entertained. I just can't help but feel I should be doing more.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
I thought that seing people on the weekend would make things better, and it did, for a day or so...but now it's almost worse. I had human contact, and now I really really miss it even more than I did before. I don't know what it is, but for the last couple of days I have just been miserable, and I don't really know what to do about it. It's really bad at night after Mary goes to bed. I just sit here, resenting the fact that I am trapped in this dumpy little house, all alone. Then I start sinking into that pit of gloom, making myself more and more miserable, dwelling on it, and feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it's cause we just passed 2.5 weeks without Ian, and thats my limit, or what...but it's all of a sudden a lot harder.
Oh! A new movie with Mila Jovovich...gosh she's hot.
In other news, both the American and Canadian hockey teams got knocked out of the metals running in the olympics. All I have to say to that is HA! Hopefully those arrogant, overpaid assholes from the NHL are enjoying their slice of humble pie. It really quite bothers me that NHL players are allowed to be in the olympics. Guys who make millions of dollars a year are definately not amatuers, right?
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
She has figured out how to climb on the couch, which she does. All. The. Time. It drives me bonkers. On Sunday, she crawled up, and proceeded to run, not walk, but run, from one end of the couch to the other. I went over, told her sternly that when we are on the couch we sit. She laughed at me. I sat her down. She laughed at me. I took her off the couch, and she protested by turning herself into a noodle, shrieking, and flinging her very heavy head backwards in an attempt to break my collar bone. I put her on the floor, and someone pinged me on MSN. It was my darling absentee husband, so I decided to sit down and type hello. I got a really bad feeling all of a sudden, and turned around just in time to see Mary, on the couch, well, she was actually on her way off the couch. She landed directly on the top of her head with a horrible thump, and then flipped over on to her back. I picked her up, and could already feel the giant goose egg. The next day she was running on the couch again, apparently toddlers don't learn lessons.
Yesterday she scratched herself on the cheek. Her nails are very long and very sharp, and unfortunately she despises having them cut. I can usually get one or two done before she starts writing and shrieking and I worry that I may end up chopping off a finger. Then when we were babysitting Jonah, she tripped, and wacked her face on the floor, putting all four of her bottom teeth through her bottom lip. I put ice on it after the screaming and bleeding had slowed down, but her lip still puffed up like she was a prize fighter. Then she was trying to stand up in her usual way, her feet on the ground, legs straight, bum in the air and head down, when she lost her balance, and cracked her forehead on the floor...another lovely bruise and bump to add to the collection.
So today, I'll not be going out. Don't want to end up accused of being a baby abuser.
In other news, I'm not going to Regina this week. We were supposed to leave this morning, but yesterday the Edmonton Area got more snow than we had all winter. The highways aren't terrible, if I were alone, or Ian was here, then I would have no problem, but with Mary's new idea of fun in the car, I won't be able to concentrate on driving as well. Oh well, I guess we will go next month.
Oh! Ian got a call from someone about a new job! Yay! He told his current bosses already that he is unlikely to be going with them to Puerto Rico, and they took it pretty well, so now I am desperately trying to find him a new job. The plan is for Ian to call these people back today on his lunch break...I really hope it goes well. The job pays better, is for a larger company, working with concrete so it will be a little bit warmer, and the only out of town stuff would be rare, and in Alberta from the sounds of it. Yay! Keep your fingers crossed for us.
Monday, February 20, 2006
|you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR. |
"I am unique"
Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
What I Like About Being a Four
What's Hard About Being a Four
Fours as Children Often
Fours as Parents
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Would you rather have chosen:
|My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
|Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
51% Combativeness, 16% Sneakiness, 47% Intellect, 75% Spirituality
|Valorous! Noble! Or possibly just a self-righteous jerk… You are a Paladin! |
Paladins are holy warriors. They are valorous defenders of the light. Unfortunately, most of them are so ardent in their defense they tend to meet sticky ends faster than you can say "rampaging red dragon." Many people look up to Paladins, while others just consider them stuck up, overbearing, or self-righteous.
Much like the crusades, you manage to combine violence and religion. You may be a staunch defender of the faith, a valorous champion of the weak, or the stuff that jihads are made of.
Remember: Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean you should hurt them.
|My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
|Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
~She will point to my nose, ears, mouth and eyes...
~She has more words! (Speach delay my ass). She now says: Mummy (mumumum), Daddy (da-eee), Cat (CAT! CAAAAAT!), hi (HI! HI! HI! HI!), Cookie (doo.), Juice (bu! bu! but she does something to almost roll the b, if that makes any sense.), Up (although mosty she just says uh, uh, uh, in an increasingly high pitched whine), baby (baby!).
~This morning I said to her, "Mary, where's your juice?" And she stomped all over the house shouting "bu! buuu! bu!" until she found it. Then she looked at me, looked at her juice, and smiled, blissfully happy. Then she stomped away, ignoring the juice completely.
~She digs through the laundry, and scatters it from one end of the house to the other. Even the high laundry basket which I didnt think she could get into.
~She has started grinding her teeth. Again.
~She loves when I chase her around the house, or play hide and seek with her. Her favorite part is when I jump out and yell "BOO!" She shrieks and laughs so hard that she can't move.
~Her new game in the car: Scream as shrilly and as loudly as you can. It's fun. It works equally well in the house because it echoes, but the effect is much better when Mummy is concentrating on driving.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
What were you doing 10 years ago?
February of 1996:
I graduated from High School in 1995. The year of 1996 is mostly an alcohol induced haze. I know I worked. I know I did stuff, but for the life of me all I can remember is being drunk, and partying a whole lot.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
February of 2005:
Ah, February. My least favorite month. Last year at this time I was extremely depressed, and dealing with a 2 month old baby. By February I knew that I was unhealthy, and I was working very hard to deal with it without taking the drugs that everyone wanted me to take. February was a very hard month, but by March, things were much better.
Five snacks you enjoy:
-Vanilla Ice Cream. I could eat a litre, and still want more.
-Whole Grain bread with peanut butter and honey. soooo sticky and good
-Poutine. Need I say more?
-Air popped popcorn with more butter and salt than is healthy for anyone.
-Ripple chips and dip.
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
-Cordelia, Tragically Hip (and countless other Hip songs)
-Baretts Privateers, Stan Rogers
-Mary Mac, Great Big Sea (and pretty near every other song they sing)
-Blaze of Glory, Bon Jovi
-Baby beluga, Raffi
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
-Donate to World Vision
-Pay for Miss Marys schooling
-Buy a house that isn't falling down around me
-Go to Africa for a few months
Five bad habits
-Oh, do I ever procrastinate
Five things you like doing:
-Reading and reading and reading.
-Having a hot bath.
-I used to really enjoy cross country sking, but I haven't done that in years.
-Cuddling with my husband (Or the cats in his absence)
-Playing with Miss Mary
Five things you would never wear again:
-Midriff baring shirts
Five Favourite toys:
-My dice (gosh, I'm a geek)
-My embroidery stuff
(wow, I'm really quite boring...I need more toys, I think.)
We are likely going to sell the house when Ian gets back, and move into a rental place. Hopefully, if we sell the house we will be able to pay down our debts a great deal, and be in a better place. If we could just dig ourselves out of this hole that we are in, then maybe we could start over...but right now it just feels like no matter how much we scramble, the hole just keeps getting deeper. Right now, this house feels like a jail to me. I hate it so much, so many of our problems are tied up with this house, because we made such a bad decision when we bought it. I've been thinking about it, and really, renting isn't that bad. If something goes wrong, it's not our problem, the bills are 75% less than they are if you own the house, no property taxes, if you don't like the place...well, most leases are 1 year, most mortgages are at least 5. Lots of kids grow up living in appartments in Vancouver, New York, all over the world, and they do just fine.
Anyways, sorry for the trip on the self pity train, I must go, baby is trying to poo again.
Friday, February 10, 2006
If I had been thinking, I would have taken a picture of Mary coated in Penaten yesterday...I was going too, but when I spotted the Mouthful of Penaten, I forgot about everything but calling Poison Control to ensure that my baby wasn't going to turn green, or something. Not that I would have loved a green baby any less, of course...
Anyways, this is Mary playing with the phone. (Really, Jenn? We couldn't tell.)
| You scored as Viola. Viola.|
That's always fun.
If you were in an orchestra, what instrument would match your personality?
created with QuizFarm.com
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Life without Ian is going well so far. Tonight I'm making Chicken Korma and rice for supper. Yumm! Tomorrow I'm making salmon. Yay!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
[single or taken] Taken, of course.
[Shoe size] I cram my giant flippers into size 9.5's these days, but I can't remember the last time I bought new shoes, so that could have changed.
[Parents still together] Nope.
[Siblings] One brother, and my Mum calls her cats my brothers as well.
[Pets] Four cats.
[Colors] Green and Purple
[Number] I don't have a favourite number
[Animal] After cats, I love Hippo's best (and no, not because of that damned telus add)
[Drink] Alcoholic - Bailey's Irish Cream Non - Tea
[Book] Life of Pi
[Flower] I love all flowers really, but I'd have to say Bird of Paradise is my fave.
[Color your hair?] I used too all the time, but I haven't lately.
[Twirl your hair?] occasionally, but it's not a habit.
[Have tattoos?] Yes, I have three and several more planned
[Have Piercings?] Nope, I'm allergic to metal. If I weren't, then I would definately have a piercing or two.
[Cheat on tests/homework?] No
[Like roller coasters?] yeesh. No.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] Sometimes I think that I'd like to live elsewhere, but I'm really quite happy where I am.
[Like cleaning?] no, no, no. Hate it.
[Write in cursive or print?] Oh, a bit of both really.
[Own a cell phone?] Not anymore
[Ever get off the damn computer] If I have to...
HAVE YOU EVER...
[Been in a fist fight?] Nope
[Considered a life of crime?] Sure
[Considered being a hooker?] Only a high class call girl.
[Lied to someone?] Yes
[Been in love?] Yes
[Made out with JUST a friend?] Yes
[Been in lust?] Absolutely, who hasn't?
[Used someone] I'd like to think I haven't, but I probably have
[Been used?] Oh yes.
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] No
[Stolen anything?] Yes, I was about 12, it was a $1 comb from Wolco (remember that store?) and I felt so guilty that I turned myself in before I even left the store.
[Held a gun] Yes
[Current clothing] Pink plaid jammies
[Current mood] Lonely, and a tad bored. Some friends were supposed to come over tonight but one of them got sick and cancelled.
[Current taste] um. Well, I cooked a nasty chile for supper that I had a couple of mouthfuls of and threw away.
[What you currently smell like] Vanilla.
[Current hair] In a pigtail right now (as usual these days)/
[Thing I ought to be doing] Laundry, cleaning, scrubbing toilets, washing floors...
[Current cd in stereo] We have a 6 cd changer. Right now there is some Raffi, Tragically Hip, Phil Collins and White Stripes.
[Last book you read] Oh, I hate to admit this...It's a trashy romance novel called "The Prize." It's about a Saxon lass who is awarded to a Norman Baron by good old Bill the Conqueror. Of course the usual hijinx and sex ensue before they realise that they were meant for eachother, and love eachother desperately. Sigh. I really need to get to the bookstore.
[Last movie you saw] Kingdom of Heaven
[Last thing you ate] Nasty ass chile
[Last person you talked to on the phone] My Mumma
[Believe there is life on other planets?] Yes, indeed I do. For a time in my youth I was convinced that I was an alien abductee...I grew out of that...
[Remember your first love?] Yes. A boy named Paul from Sarnia Ontario. I met him at summer cadet camp.
[Read the newspaper?] nope.
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] Indeed I do!
[Believe in miracles?] Every time I look at my daughter, I know that miracles happen (sappy, eh?).
[Do well in school?] not at all. I was bored and lazy.
[Wear hats] Rarely
[Hate yourself?] Not anymore, but I used to when I was younger.
[Have an obsession?] Not in the true sense of the word, no
[Collect anything?] Kabuki comics, books, cats...
[Have a best friend?] Not really no.
[Close friends?] A few
[Like your handwriting?] When I'm working at it I think that my handwriting is quite lovely.
[Care about looks] I wish I did sometimes. Then I'd be able to do more with my hair than ponytails, and I might even know how to apply makeup to my face without looking like a clown.
[First crush] Crush? I can't remember, some boy in elementry school, I imagine.
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] I do.
[Do you believe in "the one?"] Yes
[Are you a tease?] I used to be, still am sometimes if you listen to what Ian has to say.
[Too shy to make the first move?] I used to be
ARE YOU A...
[Bitch/Asshole] I can be crabby from time to time
[Sarcastic] Not particularly
[Shy] extremely (I hide it well, but inside, people terrify me)
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Today has been pretty bad, Mary is cutting a couple more molars and because we had to wake her early to get Ian to the airport she was very crabby. We did have some fun this afternoon though. I would chase her around the house groaning loudly and stomping my feet (I know, I know), and she would stagger away from me as quickly as she could, laughing like crazy. Eventually she would be so overcome that she would have to just stand there belly laughing, and then I would scoop her up in my arms and kiss her belly till she squealed. Then, we would do it all over again. She could have done this all day long, but eventually Mummy got tired, and then the waterworks started. She cried and cried, and at 5:30 she sobbed herself to sleep in my arms. It's going to be a long night and an early morning, I suspect.
So, I still haven't heard from Ian. he promised me he would call me as soon as he got into his hotel room. I'm a real worry wart and he knows it, so he ought to call me. It's been almost 12 hours since his flight left, how long does it take to get to California anyways??
Oh, I need help! (Yeah yeah, in more ways than one). I don't know what to eat now that Ian is gone. I'm not a great cook, but I'm okay. My problem is that I can cook for two adults, and Ian always eats leftovers. How on earth do I cook healthy meals for just me and the baby? Does anyone have any recipes or advice on how to cook for one? I hate hate hate leftovers which is also a problem for me. Anyways, any tips would be much appreciated!
Saturday, February 04, 2006
1) In the movie, only "citizens" may vote.
2) To be a citizen, you must have served in the military in some way.
3) "Every major problem humanity has faced has been solved through violence" is a quote from the movie.
4) The propaganda shots were scarily reminiscent of recruiting advertisements that I have seen.
Anyways, I enjoyed the film, but it scared me a little on an "oh my God, that's the future" sort of way.
We also watched "Kingdom of Heaven," which surprisingly, was fantastic, I though. I'm sure that if I knew a little more about history there may have been some things about it that offended me, I'll have to ask some of my more knowledgeable friends about it. Oh, and Orlando was way dreamy.
Less than 24 hours till Ian leaves now.
Friday, February 03, 2006
I'm not sure if I've shown y'all this before or not, but here is a picture of Mary entertaining herself and the cats. They all love this game!
In other news...we went out for East Indian food tonight with Anne R. Key and friends, it was lovely, but for the screaming infant that someone brought to the restaurant and inflicted on all us diners. Oh wait, that was us. Oh well, she's so often good, I guess we can handle a bad night now and then.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Yesterday Ian and I decided that we needed to get out of the house and piss away just a little bit of our prosperity, so, I swallowed my new social conscience, and we drove across town to the South Edmonton Common Walmart. What an adventure! I had a bit of a headache when we left, but I figured I was just hungry. Anyways, after picking up some cheap Huggies, even cheaper kitty litter and some odds and ends, we headed to the check out. Why, oh why does Walmart never have enough tellers? No matter how many people are in the store, they never have enough tellers. So we waited in line for about 20 minutes. By time we got to the teller (useless tool that he was) I started to feel...shivery. My skin started to crawl as we walked out the door, and my headache got worse.
But I'm a trooper, I am, and we headed off to East Side Mario's. What a mistake. We waited for a table, waited for service, requested that Marys meal come NOW! Good God man! If we don't feed her now! She'll attack the other patrons! The server smiled serenely and promised that he would put a rush on the baby's pasta. Fifteen minutes later he appeared with bread, soup and salad for us. Mary devoured several pieces of bread and meatballs from the soup. Fifteen minutes after that the waiter appeared again and asked us if we wanted more. We said yes. Five minutes later more soup appeared, but my salad did not. Alak alas. Ten minutes later cold pasta was placed in front of us. By this point my skin was protesting the fact that my clothing was touching it. Mary ate more of her meal than I did of mine. By time we got home my teeth were chattering, I was soaked in sweat, all my joints ached like billy-oh and my skin was crawling like mad. Mary had a bad fever on Monday and Tuesday nights, I thought she was teething, but apparently she was not, and she passed on whatever fun bug she was fighting off to me. That's okay though, I feel better today.
I guess that's what I get for going to Walmart, eh?