Mary is constipated. Again. I don't know what to do. I called the nurses at capital health link, and although the woman I spoke to was nice, I don't think that she understands that fresh veggies and fruits are expensive. I hate to think that I am poor, but I am. I hate to think that I am so poor that I can't afford to feed my baby properly, that I'm damaging my baby, but it looks like that's the way it is. Right now, because of a mess up with Ian's paycheque, we are broke. Not just "I can't afford to go out tonight" broke, but "I can't buy fresh fruits for my baby" broke, "If something happens, we are in deep trouble" broke. And there is nothing I can do. Our mortgage payment is likely to bounce. I don't see things getting any better, and I don't know what to do.
We are likely going to sell the house when Ian gets back, and move into a rental place. Hopefully, if we sell the house we will be able to pay down our debts a great deal, and be in a better place. If we could just dig ourselves out of this hole that we are in, then maybe we could start over...but right now it just feels like no matter how much we scramble, the hole just keeps getting deeper. Right now, this house feels like a jail to me. I hate it so much, so many of our problems are tied up with this house, because we made such a bad decision when we bought it. I've been thinking about it, and really, renting isn't that bad. If something goes wrong, it's not our problem, the bills are 75% less than they are if you own the house, no property taxes, if you don't like the place...well, most leases are 1 year, most mortgages are at least 5. Lots of kids grow up living in appartments in Vancouver, New York, all over the world, and they do just fine.
Anyways, sorry for the trip on the self pity train, I must go, baby is trying to poo again.