Thursday, July 27, 2006

Bad Afternoon

Well, the unthinkable has finally happened. It's my own fault, I know it, I should have been more careful, and now I only have myself to blame.

I'll start at the beginning. This morning Mary slept in again, it was wonderful, and she was so cheerful all morning. Around 12:30, I decided that Mary should have a nice nap, so I changed her diaper, got her a bottle, and put her in her room. She's such a good girl these days, as soon as I say "Do you want a nap? Mummy will get you a bottle of milk." she runs to her bedroom and climbs up on her bed. Anyways, she went down without a fuss, and though I did hear her banging around in her room and talking to herself, I really thought nothing of it. I had work to do, Ian/Moustapha (yes, they are the same person, hard to believe, I know) is supposedly coming home tomorrow, so I want to get the house nice and clean.

At 2:30, I decided that it was time to get Mary up and continue with our day. I figured she'd already be awake, so I could just change her diaper and carry on. As soon as I opened the door to her room, I knew something was wrong. It was too quiet, deathly quiet. I had a deep sense of foreboding, and I peered around the corner in search of my daughter. What I saw froze the blood in my veins. Who was this changeling child? Had the faeries taken my beautiful, fair skinned, curly haired girl and left this brown, spiky haired monstrosity? But no, I looked closer, and the monstrous creature in my daughters bedroom had her beautiful blue eyes. Then I noticed the distinct lack of diaper on the brown little monster sitting on the floor, calmly sucking on an empty bottle, and it hit me. My focus changed from the child to the room, and I realized that my foot was only a centimetre away from a giant poo sitting there in the middle of the floor. But that giant log was not alone, there were streaks of brown all over the floor. And the bed. And the rocking chair. And the walls. And the dresser.

I quietly backed out of the bedroom and closed the door. I took a deep, calming breath, and started to fill the bathtub. I sat quietly on the edge of the tub as it filled, and I took another calming breath. I then opened the door of the bedroom, only to find the changeling child squatting over the log, and baptizing it in a most repulsive and demonic way.

You will all be happy to hear that my own angelic darling is back, after a 45 minute exorcism (bath). I intend to go out today and purchase some duct tape to ensure that this never EVER happens again.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Beer and Popcorn!

Yesterday turned out to be a lovely evening. I did not spend the evening weeping in front of the television with toast and a 40 oz bottle of Coconut Rum. Raven was smart enough to see that my post yesterday was a desperate passive aggressive plea for someone to drag me out of my stinky hot little house. So drag me away she did. I had a lovely family supper where the children outnumbered the adults, and then Ravens wonderful husband looked after Mary (who apparently cried the entire time) while a few of us went for a swim.

In the mail yesterday I got my first $100.00 family blah-de-blah cheque from the Harper government. I stifled the urge to immediately head out to buy beer and popcorn, I decided to save it for when Ian gets home, so we can enjoy a hundred dollars worth of beer together.

Speaking of Ian, he gets home on Thursday! Eep. I'm delighted and excited, but as I've said before, I'm also nervous and anxious. The house is a mess, and when Ian gets home I know that he's going to screw with my routine. I despise change, and Ian coming home is a big one. Of course he will leave right when I've finally gotten used to him being around, and it'll be another miserably stressful change too.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Two years ago today...

...I got married. I believe I shall celebrate it by spending the day alone in my stinking hot little house with a screaming toddler. Tonight I will watch Casanova all by myself. I may do some laundry. For supper I will have toast.

Last night I dreamed that Mary had a fever of 43 degrees, and was hallucinating. I took her to the children's hospital and was surprised to find that a very handsome friend of mine who I always thought worked for a that computer game company was actually a pediatrician. He came in, looked at Mary, and then the dream suddenly morphed into something a wee bit more naughty on a space ship. Then my D&D group wandered in. It was very odd.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

My Tarot Card

Who'd have guessed it?

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects.
She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better.
Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

III - The Empress


VI: The Lovers


XI: Justice


XIII: Death


0 - The Fool


I - Magician


XVI: The Tower


XIX: The Sun


XV: The Devil


II - The High Priestess


VIII - Strength


X - Wheel of Fortune


IV - The Emperor


Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with


Why is it that when I sit there, available and trying to play with her, Mary ignores me. I chase her around, I hang out with her, I try to play with her, and nothing. But the moment I sit down at the computer, or I try to do the dishes, or God forbid I use the toilet, she's howling and screaming. Demanding my complete attention. Climbing into my lap, hitting anything that I'm holding or using and shoving it away. Is this my life, to sit there, motionless in a chair, doing nothing, getting nothing accomplished, bored to tears, just in case the little tyrant deems me worthy of her attention?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Yeah Yeah Yeah...


I'm still alive...just lazy. Very very lazy.

I had some fun social times since last I posted. Last thursday I went to R & S's appartement. It was a delightful time, R made his wonderful lasagne for all of us and we watched Batman Begins while Z went crazy playing Starwars on the computer and guzzling more coke than a nine year old boy should ever have access too. Friday night I went over to Ravens place, and we had a lovely time. There was a point where we had a 5, 4, 3, and 2 year old, as well as Mary and two 8 month old babies on feeding tubes. It was INSANE for a while, and all the grownups were exhausted when the children went to thier various beds. After everyone went to bed we played a rousing game of "Betrayel in the House on the Hill," after which comprimising pictures were taken.

Saturday I didn't have a baby. Mary went to Ian's aunt and uncles place at 5 that evening, and I did not need to pick her up till 10:30 the next morning. After a rocky start (I burst into tears at a red light when I looked into the back seat and saw the lack of a carseat), the night went wonderfully. It was Cori and J's Arthurian game, and I was up to no good, as usual. As always it was a fantastic time playing in the legend and altering things to our own liking.

Sunday I visited Anne R. Key and the Dauntless Janet for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Mary was relatively well behaved and happy, which is always nice. Anne gave us a CD that she made for Mary called "Songs in Celebration of Mary and her Magnicifant Melon." They sent me home with a container full of fantastic Indian rice pudding full of saffron. Yum.

Monday I had a headache. All. Day. Long. At around 11 in the morning I lay down on my bed and just let Mary roam around the house and watch tv. I must have fallen asleep, and when I woke up, Mary had moved all the stuff on the floor beside the bed (yes, I'm a slob), dragged two blankets in from her bedroom, curled up and fallen asleep. What a strange little creature. She could have crawled up onto the bed with me, or gone to her own bed, but she chose the floor.

Well, speaking of being a slob, Mary is napping right now, so I think that I'm going to try to get some laundry and dishes finished.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Peace in the Middle East...Not!

Wow. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm glad (even more than I was before) that I don't live in the middle east. Right now it's just Israel, Lebanon and the Palestinians...but it looks like Syria and Iran are going to wade in soon. Can you say "kaboom?" I spoke to my father (tolerant fellow that he is) a while back about the situation in the Middle East, and he had this to say: "Bloody Arabs. We should just nuke them all." My husband said almost exactly the same thing just a week or so ago when we were discussing the troubles that Canadian soldiers are having in Afghanistan. Now children, can we say "Narrow minded?" Or how about "lack of tolerance and foresight?"

But really, what can we do? Certainly what is happening halfway around the world is going to effect us here, no matter what happens, and I can't imagine that it will effect us positively. So, do we sit here and cluck our tongues and pretend it doesn't matter? Do we wade in and involve ourselves in a fight that doesn't make sense to us? If we do, whose side do we take? I know, the answer to that is easy, Israel, right? But I just can't see that anyone here is innocent of wrong doing in this situation. I really don't know. It seems like a loose-loose situation for everyone, including those of us who aren't involved. Those of us who still get tears in their eyes when they watch the nightly news. Those of us who still ache deep inside because of the senseless violence and deaths of innocent people who are just trying to survive. I just don't understand why we as a human race refuse to learn from our past mistakes. Violence does not solve anything. Violence does not make things better for anyone. Why do we always resort to violence?

Goody is renewing her vow of non-violence on August 6th, the anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima. The only thing I can think of is to do the same. I'm only one person, but maybe if enough people feel strongly enough to make a vow to themselves, to their Gods, or whatever matters most to them, eventually the world will be a better place. Or at the very least, there will be a couple less people willing to solve their problems by hitting them.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Amazing Disappearing Diaper

Life holds so many surprises for me now that Mary has moved into the toddler bed. I never know what scene is going to greet me in the mornings when I open her door. Today's was...unpleasant. I opened the door to find Mary, naked and shivering, curled up in a HUGE puddle of pee in the middle of the floor, half soaked up by the clothes that she once again managed to dig out of her dresser. The best part of this story is that I cannot find the diaper. I have searched her entire room, under the bed, under the dresser, in the dresser, in all her hiding's just gone. I'm fairly certain she was wearing a diaper when I put her to bed, did she eat it?

Anyways, the weekend was very nice. Anne and Janets wedding was lovely. It was in I&V's beautiful yard, only a couple doors down from my house. The wedding party was dressed in traditional East Indian clothing, as well as some of the guests. There was plenty of wine to be had, as well as the most delicious rice pudding that I have ever tasted (it even had real saffron in it). I suspect I had a wee bit too much of the wine one point I told Emmett that I want to go to the July 1st Luau next year (I missed this years party) so I could make out with Cori. Then I told Cori the same thing. Perhaps a tad bit indiscreet, don't you think? Other than that I behaved myself quite well, I got teary eyed during the actual service. I am so proud to live somewhere that two people who love each other as much as Anne and Janet have the right to make the same commitment as any boy/girl couple.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Christmas in July

Yay! I have finished my first Christmas ornament. Well, kind of. It's not an ornament yet, but I've finished the embroidery and beading. I'm a little disappointed in the picture, but I still want to show off!

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Six Little Hairs

I have a confession to make. Today I shaved six long and dark little hairs off my chest. I always thought that my father was kidding when he told me certain things like eating broccoli would grow hair on my chest. Apparently he wasn't. I have lived with these six hairs since I was pregnant with Mary, and I finally decided to temporarily rid myself of them this morning. I know they'll be back, but they were getting to braidable length, and it'll take a while for them to return to their former glory.

My dad and his wife were in town yesterday. It was very nice to visit them, and I'm a little sad to see them go already. My step-mum drives me a little crazy at times, she's a wee bit controlling and bossy, but she has a good heart. She told me that she is worried about me, that she thinks I'm going crazy being at home alone with Mary all the time. I said "buahahaha! lalalalala! who? me? crazy? neener neener neener. I'm not crazy at all!" And then I spun around in circles in the lobby of the restaurant till I fell down. After I calmed down, she told me that she thinks I need to get out of the house (duh) and that she knows that I want badly to go to school. So. She said she'd pay for me to take the Nursing Attendant course at NAIT. I barely resisted the urge to burst into tears and slobber kisses all over her hands and feet. So my current plan is to contact the school on Monday, see how the program works, how much it costs, when it starts, and get that information to Mike. Then I have to figure out what to do with Mary when I'm at school. I don't think that classes will start till September, so I will have plenty of time to figure that part out. I'm excited, but I am trying very hard not to get my hopes up too high. I don't want to be disappointed when things fall apart at the last minute.

Anyways, I must start to get prepared for the social event of the season, if not the year, which is happening tonight. Anne R. Key and the Dauntless Janet are getting married at midnight under the full moon. Oh, and on that note, just this morning I found an email in my junkmail exhorting me to go to my MP and demand that he stop the downfall of society and our very country by voting against homosexual marriage. Ironic, eh?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

What Life?

Well, it still hasn't snowed, or even rained, but this morning when I woke up the temperature in the house was only 27. It felt almost arctic in here!

I have likely spoken about this before, but I really need a life, or at the very least, a bit more of a life than I have now. I find that I have very little to talk about other than Mary, the few games that I play, and the fact that I need a life. It's really starting to bother me, and I imagine the people I talk to spend a lot of time rolling their eyes behind my back.

Last night I got out of the house for the second night in a row! Yay! Mary and I headed over to Rico and Scott's lovely downtown apartment after a very long day of crying and not napping. Mary went to sleep in her playpen right away, and I enjoyed a beer, a movie on their giant TV, and some excellent adult company. I may start harassing them more often to spend time over there, this house and the lack of adult conversation is starting to turn my brain to mush (starting? hah, it's already well on it's way).

Life with Miss Mary isn't all bad, mind you. She has been awfully crabby and demanding in this heat wave, but she's still pretty darned cute, and she gives such wonderful wet kisses that it just melts my heart. And oh my god, when she says uh-oh...well, the cuteness factor is just out of control. I guess I just wish that I could get a break from being the sole caregiver from time to time. I am awfully lonely still, but I am learning to lean on my friends more and more, and they are a huge help.

Speaking of which, the house that is next door to my Mums house in Abbotsford (a town in the Fraiser Valley, about 30 minutes east of Vancouver) is empty and going up for rent, and it's really cheap for that area of the world. I have always said that I wanted to live around B.C., and as soon as my Mum found out, she called me and started harassing me about moving out there. I always thought that if I had the opportunity I would jump at it, all my family except my dad lives in and around Vancouver and living next door to Mum would have added benefits, like a built in babysitter. I told my Mum no though, I don't really want to leave Edmonton. As much as I would love to live closer to Mum, I don't want to leave my friends behind. I have more friends in Edmonton than I ever have in my life, and they are such a wonderful eclectic group, I just can't imagine finding another group of people that are anywhere near as fantastic. After I told Mum how I felt, she was disappointed, but she took it fairly well. I also realized that I've not seen my friends enough since having Miss Mary, and that's something I'd like to fix also. Emmett offered up his cool basement in the comments yesterday, and I believe I shall take him up on his offer (next week, my dad's in town today and for the weekend). I'm going to try to start contacting people more often too, instead of just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Anyways, Zoboomafoo is on TV now, and Mary is whining for my presence, so I guess I should quit rambling and pay attention to my child! Wish me luck for naptime today!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Let it snow...

I swear if this heat wave continues, I am going to melt away to a nasty little puddle on the floor. For the last several days now the temperature has been around 30 degrees or higher, and I can't bloody take it any more! I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I'm miserable, I can't sleep...and Mary is the same, which doubles my misery. Last night at midnight, it was still 31 degrees in the house. This morning, it's 29. I'm really hoping for snow, or at the very least a nice thunderstorm to cool things down a wee bit.

I had an okay weekend. I was house and dog sitting for the people I babysit for. They have a GIANT puppy named Isis, who is very sweet, but doesn't realize that she weighs more than most small adults. Their cat, Blues, is an outdoor cat. He escaped my first day, and didn't return till about 26 hours later. By time he came back, I was certain that I'd have to tell T & N that I lost their cat, and I was frantic. He of course looked at me like he'd been stting by the door the whole time, and where had I been?

Purgatory was on Friday night, and as always it was a blast. My character had been up to all sorts of no good in the down time (as usual), and continued the no good into the game. I just love my evil, doll lovin little girl in that game, she's fun to play, and it's SO easy to get into trouble.

Canada Day was okay. I went to visit G & K to watch a terrible football game. The Edmonton Eskimo's were absolutely whopped by the Montreal Alouettes. It was very boring and disappointing to watch. After the game was done Mary and I headed back to the house, Mary went to bed, and I availed myself of the X-Box, and played a Lord of the Rings game obsessively till I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was moping a wee bit because the Paradise Lost game was going on that day, followed by a great party out at the cabin, and I wasn't able to go. Much fun and debauchery was missed out on by me...but maybe next year I'll get to go.

Other than that, things are quiet, much the same as ever. I could go into my emotional state, but I'm not going too. Suffice it to say, I'm just about done with being a single parent, I'm desperately lonely, and it doesn't look to be changing any time soon.

Oh, and I'm praying for snow...