Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Why I Don't Need to Beat my Child

She does it herself. Seriously, I can't take Mary out in public right now...Someone will take a look at her, go "Oh, that poor abused baby" and call child services on me. I swear, no matter how frustrated I get with her, I've never hit her once, but it sure looks like it. This toddler thing is crazy.

She has figured out how to climb on the couch, which she does. All. The. Time. It drives me bonkers. On Sunday, she crawled up, and proceeded to run, not walk, but run, from one end of the couch to the other. I went over, told her sternly that when we are on the couch we sit. She laughed at me. I sat her down. She laughed at me. I took her off the couch, and she protested by turning herself into a noodle, shrieking, and flinging her very heavy head backwards in an attempt to break my collar bone. I put her on the floor, and someone pinged me on MSN. It was my darling absentee husband, so I decided to sit down and type hello. I got a really bad feeling all of a sudden, and turned around just in time to see Mary, on the couch, well, she was actually on her way off the couch. She landed directly on the top of her head with a horrible thump, and then flipped over on to her back. I picked her up, and could already feel the giant goose egg. The next day she was running on the couch again, apparently toddlers don't learn lessons.

Yesterday she scratched herself on the cheek. Her nails are very long and very sharp, and unfortunately she despises having them cut. I can usually get one or two done before she starts writing and shrieking and I worry that I may end up chopping off a finger. Then when we were babysitting Jonah, she tripped, and wacked her face on the floor, putting all four of her bottom teeth through her bottom lip. I put ice on it after the screaming and bleeding had slowed down, but her lip still puffed up like she was a prize fighter. Then she was trying to stand up in her usual way, her feet on the ground, legs straight, bum in the air and head down, when she lost her balance, and cracked her forehead on the floor...another lovely bruise and bump to add to the collection.

So today, I'll not be going out. Don't want to end up accused of being a baby abuser.

In other news, I'm not going to Regina this week. We were supposed to leave this morning, but yesterday the Edmonton Area got more snow than we had all winter. The highways aren't terrible, if I were alone, or Ian was here, then I would have no problem, but with Mary's new idea of fun in the car, I won't be able to concentrate on driving as well. Oh well, I guess we will go next month.

Oh! Ian got a call from someone about a new job! Yay! He told his current bosses already that he is unlikely to be going with them to Puerto Rico, and they took it pretty well, so now I am desperately trying to find him a new job. The plan is for Ian to call these people back today on his lunch break...I really hope it goes well. The job pays better, is for a larger company, working with concrete so it will be a little bit warmer, and the only out of town stuff would be rare, and in Alberta from the sounds of it. Yay! Keep your fingers crossed for us.


tomama said...

Fingers crossed.


James said...

We gave up on the whole couch thing. Our latest battle is trying to keep Kalen from balancing on Jasen's crib rail and then jumping across the room to her bed.

You never truly understand how terrifying you were as a child, until you are a parent.

(of 'Raven and...')

Emmett said...

You know, that's what my Mom used to say to me. "One day," she said, "you'll have a child of your own and then you'll know what you did to me and I'll laugh." Boy, I showed her.

Anne R. Key said...

I ended up with Leon--what does that say about me as a child???