It's my blog and I'll whine if I want too...

First, thank you to everyone who sent us well wishes after my last post, both personal and in the comments. Although I've not gotten back to anyone yet due to extreme business, we really do appreciate the thoughts.

First, good news. I am still pregnant, and the baby is still alive. The doctor I saw yesterday checked things out, listened to the heartbeat, and said that he thinks things are going well. He said that there is still a 1/3 chance that I may miscarry, but he also said that if I make it too the weekend without that happening that I will be out of the woods for now. I do know that I'm going to be awfully paranoid and nervous for the rest of this pregnancy, until the minute I have a healthy fully grown baby in my arms.

Other than that, things are going exceedingly poorly. Our house is falling apart and we are a heartbeat away from bankruptcy (literally). Ian recently bought a little car from a friend for our second vehicle, and because we can't manage the payments on the Taurus anymore. We were planning on giving up the good car, and moving down to one. Today the little white car died while Ian was driving to work. It turns out that the morons at his second job (a place where he worked as a manager for several years before going into construction) forgot to replace the oil cap when they topped up the oil for him. There's no oil at all in the engine, and if you know anything about cars, even if it's as little as what I know, you know that's a Very Bad Thing. So, now we are back down to one car which we can't afford, but if we loose it then Ian can't get to work, not to mention that things like groceries or trips to Regina will be incredibly dificult.

I mentioned that the house is falling apart, and I mentioned a while back that I spend my nights thinking about how wonderful it would be to burn the bloody thing down (of course I won't), but I don't think I've mentioned why it's so bad. I'll start at the top.

Windows - Ancient and drafty
Floors - ancient and ugly.
Walls (living room) - Okay, but cracked and ugly. Faux fire place in living room loosing all it's hideous plaster bricks to expose the nasty cinderblocks beneath.

Bathroom - Oh, this is good. Paint on the ceiling is cracked and gross, and full of mold. Same for the walls, mouldy. Giant hole in the wall behind the toilet from last years plumbing fun covered up by bristleboard, plastic and duct tape. Floor rotten from several years of water leakage. Sink old and taps drip. Nasty teal plastic tile coming away from the wall. Cold water tap in the bathtub does not work at all, it is either off, or runs all the time - we can't replace it because the fixtures are all so old that nothing new will fit without re-doing the entire tub.

Kitchen - Same problem with the nasty teal tiles. Shitty lino job peeling up. Taps leak constantly. The kitchen is the size of a closet.

Basement - Crack in foundation leaks. Cement floor seriously water damaged. The other day I went into the suite area which we were thinking of moving down too so we have more space in the house, but the walls in the bedroom are black with mold and mildew.

What I described is just the tip of the iceberg too, I'm sure there's more that I've either blocked out or we haven't found yet.

Selling and moving to a different, cheaper, easier to live in market is becoming more and more appealing. Moving closer to family is becoming tempting. Selling this dump and doing what we can with what we get, somewhere that it isn't horrendeously expensive is something we talk about all the time. My father is determined to get us to move to Regina, and the more he talks about it, the more sense he makes. We could sell this hole for about 120K, and buy something bigger, newer and nicer for the same in Regina. Not to mention that things are cheaper there, and we would have free babysitting. I would hate to leave Edmonton, I love this city, I love the way it feels, the way it looks, everything it has. I love my friends and would be lost without them....but we just can't afford to live here anymore, and with the way the housing market is, we will never get ourselves out of this little dump.

Sigh. So, that's a bit of what's on my mind now. Sorry for being depressing and self pitying and all that, but if I can't do it on my blog, then where can I?