Monday, November 20, 2006

A Typical Night

11:00 - Ian and I go to bed.

11:30 - We stop chatting about the day and get down to the serious business of trying to sleep.

11:35 - Ian is asleeep.

Midnight - I have to pee. Get up, stumble to the bathroom scattering cats in my wake, and do what I need too. Get back in bed.

12:15 - 2 am - Mind races through various topics. What will Mary look like when she grows up? How will Ian die? How will I die? How will the cats die? Did Ian lock the front door? Did the car doors get locked? What's that sound? I wonder if I could burn down the house and get away with it?

2:15 - Mind slows, doze off slightly.

2:30 - I have to pee. Kick Ian. Get up grumbling and do my business.

2:35 - Step in cat puke on the way back to bed. Curse.

2:45 - Crawl back in to bed. Ian snores. Kick Ian again.

2:50 - 5:15 - Toss, turn. Worry. Grumble. Kick Ian. Wonder about the baby I'm having in June. Is it a boy? Girl? Will Mary like it? Will I die giving birth to it? Will it die? Will it be handicapped because I forgot my pre-natal vitamin before going to bed tonight? I wonder if I can burn down the house without getting caught, or killing the cats...

5:30 - ARGH! Have to pee. Do it.

5:45 - Doze off again. Sweet sweet sleep.

6:00 - Ians alarm goes off. Cry.

6:07 - Alarm again.

6:14 - and again.

6:21 - and again.

6:28 - and again.

6:30 - Ian gets up. Crashes around house getting ready.

6:45 - Doze off.

7:00 - Ian leaves for work, slamming every door on the way.

7:30 - Finally! Sweet sleep takes me away!

8:30 - Mary wakes up. Chats quietly to herself in her bedroom, but still wakes me up.

9:00 - Mary gets impatient, pounds on wall with feet, hands, head, and whatever else she can think of.

9:15 - I stumble, weeping, out of bed and get another happy happy day started.

That was last night. Doesn't it sound like fun? It was a pretty typical night, though I do get an hour or two more sleep most nights. I don't know what it is, maybe my body is trying to prepare me for the inevitable fun of having a newborn and not getting any sleep.


J.S. Magruder said...

"Snoring spouse, meet sofa."

I hope that you're at least polishing off a pint of ice-cream while you're up worrying in the middle of the night. You need extra calcium, ya know.

Lulu said...

It is always with a deep sense of wonder that I discover people get pregnant more than once.

I managed to dodge that bullet competely and I feel very smug about it.

Hope things improve for you shortly.

Liz said...

Poor abused husband.

Mary said...

there is one thing you might try. keep a notebook near the bed. When you start worrying about stuff, write each thing down and assure yourself that you'll worry about it in the morning.

That way you'll know that it's not something you'll forget. sometimes your mind will then give you a break, and in the morning, you can have a good laugh about what was keeping you up at night.

this sounds lame, but it totally helps me to sleep.

I have a few other tricks that are pretty good. slow sleep insomnia SUUUUUUCKs baby.

and don't burn your house down. We'll know it was you.

Emmett said...

This is what you get for contributing to the proliferation of demonspawn. Breeders... can't live with 'em, can't let 'em blog.