Now, please don't think that I'm saying I need to replace my old friends, that's not true. I love them all. That being said, I need new friends in addition to the old ones. I feel like I'm growing further and further away from my friends, and it's not entirely their fault. Before I had the baby, I could go out whenever. I could go to fancy restaurants, out to the bar, to a movie and dinner. Now, not so much. I don't expect my friends lives to change because mine had, but I had kind of hoped that there would still be a place for me in that world, but I'm learning that the older and more dificult that Mary gets, the smaller my place in that world is. It is getting rarer and rarer the times that I can bring her out, the times that there is a baby friendly thing going on, the times where I actually feel comfortable bringing her out. I'm kind of being forced to come to terms with this a little more often these days, without Ian around, it's harder and harder (read: next to impossible) for me to go places without the baby. I was feeling sorry for myself this afternoon and I realized that it's kind of my fault. I mean, I know people with kids, but I've not really strengthened those relationships, you know? I've never really been good at forging close relationships with people. To be honest, even among my group of friends now, I can count the number of people who I would be comfortable calling up for help or company on half a hand, and even then, it would take a good deal of bad stuff to make me actually pick up the phone and call.
Anyways, on to other stuff....Did you watch Grey's Anatomy tonight? I bawled like a baby. Seriously, between the angst of my Fallen Angels game last night, and the weeping from that show tonight, I'm feeling a wee bit emotionally drained.
Hey! It looks like Moustapha will be home soon, probably within the next two weeks or so! Yay! I can't wait to have him home so we can...ah...well...reacquaint ourselves with eachother.