Proud to be Canadian, but perhaps not so proud to be from Alberta

Well, as I said before, gay marriage (I always feel silly using the word gay...till I was about 16 I didn't realize it meant anything other than happy) has been legislated as okay here in Canada. Today on the local news though, they were telling a different story. In the last 2 weeks, there have been 2 attacks against gay men in the city, one in the middle of the day, in a very public place. People are wondering if it has anything to do with the opinion of the provincial government towards gay marriage. Do you think? King Ralph has said flat out that he will make any gay people who want to get married take the province to court, before he gives them a license. I guess he is counting on the fact that a lot of people will not be willing to go through the difficulty and expense of a court battle. What a great way to spend our provincial surplus! Education, healthcare, even roads, pah! We need to stop those gays from getting married, and while you're at it, beat one or two of em up to make sure they know how unwelcome they are here in our lovely, wealthy, rednecked province! Sigh.

Mary turned 6 months today, I will probably write about it tomorrow. Today my head hurts, my sinuses feel like they're going to explode, my throat burns, and my heart is sick from watching the news. At least she gives me something to hope for.

The new meaning of marriage

The Canadian government has (finally) passed the bill on homosexual marriage. I am of mixed feelings on this, I will have to admit. I have a lot of friends who are gay, and I really am happy for them. I think it's terrible that anyone can be denied the secular rights and privileges that go along with marriage, just because they are both the same sex. Now, along with the bill allowing homosexuals to marry they have stated that no one (read religious institution) can be forced to marry them if it goes against their beliefs. I think that's great, but I am concerned at how long that will last. I really do believe that there needs to be a difference between the sacrament of marriage, and what the government does as well. I think that soon enough, someone is going to get miffed that they cant get married at the church of their choice, and bring it to court. Right now the government has done a good job of dealing with this so everyone is able to hang on to their rights, the homosexuals who want to get married, and the churches who don't want to marry them. I just hope it stays that way. Maybe now the government can get to the task of actually governing the country, instead of bickering about gay marriage.

In other news....Purgatory was fantastic on Friday. Wow. That's really all I can say. The organizers did a great job, as did the players. Eman did a fantastic job playing Grendel, the mad malkavian Methuselah, and although I hate fight scenes, the one with Popel went amazingly smoothly, all things considered.

Anyways, I must go watch Voyager. You know, there is a woman out there whose blog I read, and she got rid of her TV a while ago. I'd love to cancel cable, but I sure would miss my Star Trek!

I just couldn't help but post this picture here, even though I posted it on Mary's blog already. Aren't they too cute for words? Jonah is 7 months older than Mary and has had 4 haircuts now, I'm a little jealous, I don't think Mary is going to need a haircut until she is about 3 years old.  

Sleep is for the weak.

Yes, it's true, and I am terribly, terribly weak. I need sleep. Someone in the cosmos however has decided that I'm not going to get any. Cori says that you can't die of insomnia, but I am starting to believe she is a liar. For the last week, I've gotten a max of 3 hours sleep every night. Being a new mother, people might think that I am used to sleep deprivation, but Mary has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old.

Today, I am so tired, I seriously considered not going to Purgatory tonight. I considered it for a while too, in fact, I still am. It would be a shame not to go, Eman's character has some big stuff going on, and I would really hate to miss it as I am somewhat involved with that character. Aside from that, there will be all sorts of excitement. It would also be a shame since we worked so hard to find a sitter for Mary (RAVEN ROCKS!). Honestly, that is probably what is going to make me go, after the stress and the fighting with Ian, I really need to. I know that the chances that I go to D&D tommorow night are slim to none though. I'll get Ian to take Mary, pop a handful of sleeping pills, and hope for the best.

Jobs

The other day, I decided I need a job. It was mostly because I have very little to speak with my friends who aren't parents about anymore. On Saturday night we were hanging out before Cori's Kingdom Come game started, and I felt really out of place. People were talking about their work, and all I had to talk about was Mary. Then I realized, hey, taking care of Mary is my job, and more than that, it's my second and third job too. I think that it is really strange that people are perfectly okay when their friends talk/complain about their jobs, but when I, or any other mother tries to talk about their baby, people get all uncomfortable, roll their eyes, and walk away. I found a website talking about how Mothers who blog are selfish and whiney, but no one writes articles specifically about people who blog about their job. Weird.

Anyways, Broken Wings was terribly fun on Saturday, as usual. My evil angel is getting ready to blow up, I think. Between her cold fish boyfriend, and people messing with her cult, she is not a happy camper.

Purgatory is coming up this Friday, yay! We do have a problem though, so far, Ian and I have been unable to find childcare for the night. It is going to be a warzone around here if we have to decide which one of us gets to stay home with the baby. It is getting very close to the end game, and lots of exciting stuff is happening. We will probably judge it by our turns as to who gets to stay home, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Fathers day was nice. Ian, Mary and I went out (instead of housework, we are a family of expert procrastinators) for the day. We went to Rona, and I bought Ian a laser level and a measuring tape, then we went to a restaurant for lunch, and finished up with some grocery shopping. Since Mary came along, our grocery bill has almost doubled! In the evening, G & K came over for a nice fire in our lovely little fire pit, and a beer. All in all it was a lovely day. Yesterday Ian did the dishes without me nagging too! So far this week has been pretty good.

D&D at G & K's place tonight. I love G's game, as my barbarian is super cool, and nearly invincible. It's really fun to play a big, dumb, beautiful thug!

Motherhood, the gift that keeps on giving.

Well, I visited my doctor yesterday. He is a wonderful guy, and young, cute, and a good doctor. You'd think that I would have problems baring my privates to someone like him, but he's such a good doctor, that it doesnt bug me at all. Anyways, I went because lately, especially since I took up Mr. Shatner on his 2 week challenge, it hurts when I poo. Seriously. It feels like I am pooing sharp gravel bits, and it is most unpleasant. I met with a friend who had her baby in March, and she has the very same problem, and it turns out needs surgery for it. So, I decided to bite the bullet, and go see Dr. Hartt. I have to admit that I was a little uncomfortable when he told me that hemorrhoids are a side effect of giving birth, and in some women they grow to the size of a softball (!!!!). I was fairly certain there were no softball sized lumps down there, but who knows, right? It is hard to look at ones own asshole. Anyways, he took a peek, and announced with great pride, "Yup, there's one there, the size of a large grape, and a nice fissure too!" He prescribed some medicine, and told me that I would be feeling human in no time flat. I muttered that it is hard to feel human when you are inserting suppositories into your own bum, but whatever. You know what amazes me about suppositories? They have warnings all over that you must insert them pointy end first. Go figure! It makes me sad that people need to be told such things. I suspect it would really hurt if you tried to push the ass rocket in the wrong way.

On to other topics. I did go visit my neighbour. It was a nice little visit, and the first time I had been in their house. I have to say, hearing everything that had happened to poor old Don really cemented in my mind that it is a blessing that he passed. He was in very very rough shape. I have always had a fascination with learning about things medical, and it makes it easier for me to accept what is happening if I know exactly what is happening, and how it affects the body. When Ians dad died, it drove me crazy that they didnt actually know what had happened. They didnt know where the cancer started, why it spread so quickly, or even what cancer actually killed him.

Mary has been exceedingly miserable lately, Im sure she is teething. She rubs at her mouth, screams for no reason, and just recently she started sucking on her lower lip till it disapears. I call her "Lipless Lizzie." I just wish that there was some proof, just one tooth, or even the hint of one tooth. It would make the screaming just a bit more tolerable if there was a visible goal or cause of this increased crankiness. The little boy that I babysit is teething too, so when I have the two of them together I feel like tearing out my hair.

Am I getting old?

In the last two years I have experienced more death than I had in the previous 26 years of my life. It started with Ian's dad a couple of years ago. It was pretty out of the blue and very hard to deal with. Then, a year later, my boss' wife was in a car accident and died, then Willow (my cat, yes, he counts too), then my Grandfather. Yesterday our neighbour passed away at the hospital. I took grief counselling courses when I worked at the vet clinic and learned how to help people through loss, but, I'm terrible at it, really. I have no idea what to do. Do I go to the neighbours house and offer my condolonces? If I do, what on earth do I say? I'm sorry just sounds so stupid right now. Don (the neighbour) has been in the hospital for several months now, so really, maybe it's a blessing that he finally passed, but you cant say that either. So, I sit here in my house, afraid to go out because I may bump into Don's son or his wife, and I have no idea what to say to them. I feel sick just thinking about what they must be feeling.

A day in the life...

Last night Mary went to sleep at 9. It was great, or at least, we thought it was. Sleeping baby, and two very awake parents means getting some, right? So, of course, thats what happened. Then, Mary woke up at midnight, shortly after the getting had been got. No sleep for me yet. Thats okay, though, right. So, she yelled for a while, and I waited to see if she would fall back asleep, but no luck. I got her out of bed, fed her and changed her, and she chatted to herself till about 1:30. It wasnt too bad, she was making pretty cute noises through the monitor, and cute noises are infinately better than loud screams. The cute noises started up again at 5 am. Not so cute, after only 3 hours of sleep, thats for sure. Again, I waited to see if she would fall asleep, but alas, the cute noises got less cute, and more shrill. So, I got her up, changed the poopy diaper, fed her, and lay her down on the bed between Ian and I. She finally fell asleep as Ian was getting up for work at 6:15. 7 am. Skip the cute noises and move straight to screaming. Yikes. So, I changed her diaper, and discovered that in ONE HOUR she has developed a diaper rash so bad that it's bleeding. How the hell did she manage that?? Anyways, I cleaned her up, and put some diaper rash stuff on her sore little bum. Poor baby. After that she slept from about 8 - noon, and so did I, which really redeemed her, and made me love her again. Right now she is being super cute on the couch, holding on to her feet and telling them stories.

So, this is my life. Baby poops, I clean it. Baby wants to eat, I feed her. Baby wants to be held, I hold her. Baby screams, I try desperately to guess what it is that she needs so eventually, I might be able to comfort her. That could really my daily blog entry.

I need a life.

Will you please stop YELLING!

There are many reasons that I no longer drink copious amounts of red wine, and I am being reminded of every single one of them today. Ugh. We went over to Anne and Janet's place to celebrate Anne's forthcoming natal day last night. I was doing fine until Aaron kindly offered me a glass of wine, and then the long buried lush in me came leaping to the fore. Yikes. I guzzled a good deal of Anne's red wine, and Janet, evil woman that she is, offered me some burning liqueur. Needless to say, today, I'm feeling a little under the weather. I must have picked up a flu bug or something. Ian has been very kind to me, and got up with the baby. The only thing worse than a red wine headache, is having a creature in your house who communicates her needs by yelling while you have a red wine headache.

Yes, I stole it too.

I stole this from Anne.

1. First name: Jennifer
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope. It's just a name that my parents, along with thousands of other new parents at the time, liked.
3. Do you wish on stars? I used to, but I rarely have the time anymore.
4. When did you last cry? Since Mary was born, I have become quite weepy, and it doesn't take a lot. In fact, this test is making me cry right now.
5. Do you like your handwriting? It's okay, I suppose, but nothing fancy.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? I don't particularly like lunch meats.
7. What is your birth date? April 12th, in the year of the Snake.
8. What is your most embarrassing moment? What immediately comes to mind is the several times that Mary has barfed on complete strangers. Although, it serves them right for touching my child.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with yourself? I honestly don't know. Sometimes I try too hard, and that can be grating.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? I rarely swear not to tell unless it is very very important. I am terrible with secrets.
12. Do looks matter? Honestly, yes they do, and anyone who says they don't, is lying to you.
13. How do you release anger? I hold it in, and push it down to my toes, one day soon, I'm going to explode. Oh, and occasionally I take it out on Ian.
14. Where is your second home? The place that I felt at home more than anywhere would have to be PEI. The place I know that I will always be welcome is my Dad's place in Regina.
15. Do you trust others too easily? Yes, I do, and I often get burned. But I would rather believe the best of someone, so I never learn my lesson.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a stuffed chick, called Chickie, and a stuffed cat with a musical box in her, called Musical Kitty. I still have them both now.
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Gym. Fuck off, Nazi bastards.
18. Do you have a journal? Aside from this blog? Nope. I'm terrible at keeping a journal.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really, and I often miss other peoples sarcasm too.
20. What is your favorite movie? Moulin Rouge, Labyrinth, The Princess Bride.
21. What are your nicknames? Jennnnnnnn. My dad calls me Hairball.
22. Would you bungee jump? Never in a million years.
23. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
24. Do you think that you are strong? No, I don't. Not physically or mentally.
25. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Pistachio or Vanilla.
26. Shoe size? Ten. Sigh.
27. What are your favorite colors? Any shade of green and most shades of blue
28. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm not terribly bright, and I'm smart enough to know it.
29. What do you miss most? Right now, very little. I am currently happier than I can remember being in the past. Occasionally it would be nice to eat a meal without Mary screaming at me.
30. Do you want everyone you sent this to, to send it back? I don't care.
31. What color pants are you wearing? Blue Jeans, of course.
32. What are you listening to right now? The Principles of Lust, by Enigma...
33. Last thing you ate? Boiled Pyrogy's and sour cream
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Well, if I could pick any colour, I'd pick something purple, I think.
35. What is the weather like right now? Sunny. Still not raining. Who pays those bloody weathermen anyways?
36. Last person you talked to on the phone? My sweet baboo, calling from work to say hello.
38. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I stole it from Anne, who is very cool.
39. How are you today? I'm pretty good. My throat is a little sore, but I'll live.
40. Favorite Drink? Tea, iced or hot.
41. Favorite Sport: Mmmm. Football! GO RIDERS! And anything horsey.
42. Hair Color? Brownish.
43. Eye Color? Green
44. Do you wear contacts? ick. no.
45. Favorite Food? Roast lamb with mint jelly, and asparagus. If I'm in PEI, lobster and mussles.
46. Last Movie You Watched? Stupid bloody Star Wars 3. Ugh. I wouldn't call it watching though, so much as dozing and dreaming of being anywhere but there.
47. Favorite Day of the Year? Easter
48. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Neither really, though if I had to pick one, I would pick happy endings, though even better is a tragedy where no one is happy in the end.
49. Summer or winter? I am not a fan of the summer, and I could never live somewhere where it was hot all year round. That being said, I am no fan of winter either, at least not when it gets down to -40. I guess I would have to say spring.
50. Hugs or kisses? Don't touch me.
51. What is Your Favorite Dessert? Creme brulee!!
52. Where Would You Want to Go on your Next Vacation? PEI or Vancouver. Realistically, I doubt I'll be going anywhere for a long time though.

Update

The constipation, it is not getting better. In fact, it's getting much worse. Today at Julio's Barrio, we were enjoying a lovely marguirita, when Mary started up with her usual pooping faces. All was going well, when suddenly her eyes got really big, and she let out this blood curdling scream. Im certain I heard glasses smash from the kitchen. I grabbed her, and hurried her to the bathroom, and when I took off her diaper, I saw that she had laid a large, solid, green egg. The worst part is that it was quite bloody also. Poor baby. I know that I would have cried passing something like that too. We have thrown out the remainder of the nasty formula that didnt help her spit up problem at all, and are feeding her apple juice. Hopefully this wont turn into a chronic problem. Really, I cant decide if I prefer this, or the diarrhea that shot up her back and into her hair. At least the diarrhea didnt hurt her as much.

In other news, Ian had the day off today, and we went out and spent far too much money on stuff for the baby. We bought a mobile for the crib, a mirror thing that ties to the side of the crib, a nightlight, a new light switch cover with teddy bears on it, a couple of outside lights to replace the crappy ones we have out ther now, and some formula and cereal for Mary. You will notice that the majority of the products we bought were for the baby. Everything we do is for the baby, and she rarely appreciates it...still, we strive to please her. One day she will reward me with something more than a smile and poo.