Sunday, June 17, 2007

Elitist Scum

So, things are going well so far. Frances is over a week old now, and it feels incredibly odd still to have her around. Every once in a while I look at her and think "that was in me," and it just blows my mind. It also feels strange when I realize I have 2 children. When did that happen? Shouldn't I be grown up before they let me have children? Why don't I feel grown up yet?

Breast feeding is not going very well. I hate it. So, I quit. I was starting to get the ugly feelings that I had towards Mary when I was feeding Frances, but this time I was more aware of what was causing me to hate my child. So, I quit giving her the boob all together and I am not exclusively pumping. She's still getting only breast milk at this time, but my breasts seem to be somewhat elitist and my milk production has dropped. I've been pumping regularly, but in spite of my best efforts my milk has gone from copious amounts to a trickle. I'm not going to give up, but eventually we will have to start supplementing with formula. I don't mind feeding her formula, we did with Mary and she turned out fine, but I would like to get a few more weeks of boob juice into her.

The house hunt is still going abysmally. We are getting very discouraged. The house in Earl Grey is wonderful, but we are having second thoughts about it. The school in that town was just closed down, and we really aren't certain that we want to live somewhere that the kids will have to bus too school. Also, the house has a wood basement rather than concrete, and that's a bit of a concern too. Of course, it's looking like we can't be too picky now, if we want something we can afford we will have to move to a town without a school.


JSM said...

If the boobie brigade start giving you crap, let me know-I'll come up there and punch them in the nose...hard.

Anonymous said...

Don't be afraid of a wood basement. If it is built with pressure treated wood, it will last your lifetime, or certainly as long as you own the house. Also, the added benefit is that wood basements are MUCH warmer than their concrete cousins. I have had wood basements, had no problems with them and loved the added warmth.

Kristeen said...

Sorry bf isn't going well. Just remember that every bit you have given her thus far has done her good. Don't feel too bad about it though. My biggest advice is always to do what works best for you and your family. It wouldn't be doing her any good at all if you hated her for it! :) *hugs*

Mary said...

My sister hated breast feeding too. And iain's perfectly healthy and cute as a button.

don't worry about it baby.

I'm wishing you luck on finding a house that you'll enjoy... that will also allow you to meet some rural closet nerds so you can play some games.

ps. I don't know much from babies, but Frances is pretty cute. :)

greypanther said...

As a breastfeeding elitist snob I just wanted to say "Trust your Instincts!" If you find it is not working for you then find what will. I am glad to see Frances is happy and healthy by the way. You make cute babies. Say to Miss Mary for me even if she won't remember who I am :)