Grumpy

Well, things are looking slightly up on the mortgage front. We have contacted a mortgage broker and he seems to think that he can get us a mortgage. Of course we have to give a much higher down payment, and we have to get my father to cosign for us, but oh well, hopefully we will still be able to get the house that we love.

I'm feeling pretty miserable still though. Frances was up from 3am to 6am last night, and Ian slept through the whole thing. I sat there in bed weeping and begging the baby to go to sleep. She finally did, but she and Mary were up for the day shortly before 8. Yuck. I've also developed a case of mastitis, which is incredibly unpleasant. I'm feverish and sick, my boob aches something fierce, and I'm exhausted. I have no idea when I'll get a chance to get to the doctor either, maybe tonight if I'm lucky. I also have to pick up some pictures for my father who is off to the Okanogan for a family reunion on friday. Not to mention that I need kitty litter, cat food and other stuff. At least Mary and Frances have been relatively well behaved today.

....

I cannot even begin to express my rage. We went to the bank yesterday to get things squared away for our mortgage. We assumed that, because our old mortgage was "fully portable" there would be no problems. Never, ever trust the bank. Our mortgage was refused, and they won't even accept my father co-signing for us. So, we've sold our home, moved to a new city, and now we can't buy a new house. We're fucked, pardon my language.

This news comes at a relatively bad time for me. Since Sunday or so I've been feeling incredibly homesick for my friends, and for Edmonton itself. Now I can't help but think that we made the biggest mistake of our lives selling our house and moving here.

Our house

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?PropertyID=5897153&Mode=0&Page=1&vs=1&rlt=&cp=&pt=0&mp=100000-125000-0&mrt=-1-0-0&Beds=0-0&Baths=0-0&f=&ft=all&o=A&of=1&ps=10&ptgid=1&aid=1671%2c1670&MapURL=%3fAreaID%3d1585

House

Our offer was accepted! Yay! We are beginning the process to own a 1227 square foot bungalow in Milestone Saskatchewan. It's a really lovely place, only a block away from the schools, schools which will not be closing any time in the future as most of the small towns around Milestone are already bussing their kids in to them. It comes with a dishwasher, beautiful new stainless stove and fridge, and a satellite dish. The furnace is new, as is the hot water tank, the basement is concrete and in good shape. It has three bedrooms on the main floor and one in the basement, along with a playroom complete with painted mural, a living room/rec room area and a large laundry/storage area. There are one and a half bathrooms on the main floor, one off the master bedroom and the full bath has a jet soaker tub. The kitchen is nice and big and open, and off the dining room area there are french doors leading to a brand new, very nice deck. The back yard isn't fenced, but it's huge and really well taken care of, oh, and it has built in sprinklers too. It needs some paint, as the previous owners painted specifically for their own tastes and kids, and it will need new windows, but other than that we really don't think it needs much work. We are getting a home inspection done anyways, so we may find something out there, but I'm confident that it won't be anything we can't handle. We take possession on August 3rd, which works well for us as our lease here ends at the end of August. That way we can take the month to move slowly and get everything that needs to be done done. I'll take pictures and post them here as soon as we get a chance, but that probably won't be till August.

I'm so glad that things finally worked out for us! This house is more what we were looking for than the others that we put offers on, so yay!

I Heart Saskatchewan

Man the weather here is stinky. I had forgotten how miserable summers in Regina can get when it gets hot. I suspect I will be reminded about how miserable winters are here in a few months too. Why on earth would anyone want to live here? It's incredibly hot and humid right now, and a severe thunderstorm watch and tornado watch has just been issued for the city. Yay!

When I was a child, I was terrified of summer storms, and any time a tornado watch was issued I would insist on hiding in the basement. My parents and brother would laugh at me, but I felt it was important to be safe, you know? People who aren't from this part of the world have no idea how terrifying and bizarre these storms can get. I remember one time when I was about 15, my dad, brother and I were out playing football in the back yard. It had been a hot, sunny day, one of those summer days that you'll always remember. There was hardly any wind, the sky was blue and we were planning a bbq for supper that night. All of a sudden the air changed colour...I'm not sure how to describe it, but the air was yellow. My Mum always described it as being inside a glass of ginger-ale, everything was tinted. The humidity went up, and there was a strange roaring noise. I looked up, and you could actually see the wind coming, down the street the trees were bent over with the wind, but it was still perfectly calm where we were. The wind hit us, and a few seconds later the thunder and lightening started. It was spectacular (not that I noticed, I was huddled in the safety of the basement). The worst summer storm experience I ever had was when I was out delivering flyers and the storm appeared like magic over my head. I ended up huddled on someone's front step, too terrified to move, for about an hour till my Dad came and found me and took me home.

I don't feel the same level of panic at every storm warning these days, but I can't help but get a little nervous when the tornado warnings come out. Thank god I live in a basement suite.

We did end up putting an offer on the house we saw last night. It was beautiful and I fell in love with it right away. We offered 10 thousand more than asking, and hopefully that's enough. We do know that another offer came in at the same time as ours, so now we are just waiting to hear what the sellers have decided. We gave them till 4 this afternoon to get back to us, so we should hear back soon.

Daddy's Girl

Ian went back to work this week. I have to admit, I was really quite worried about him being gone all day and having to deal with both girls by myself. Monday morning came and I was extremely stressed out. Mary has been extremely needy since Frances came into our home, and it was usual to have to deal with one raging temper tantrum every day.

So, Monday came, Ian went to work, and I braced myself. There was not one temper tantrum all day long. No tears, no clinging to legs, no hitting, no shrieking. Mary was happy and well behaved and sweet all day long. Until Ian came home. Tuesday Ian didn't work till 1:30 in the afternoon. The morning was rough, Mary demanded to be picked up and carried around by Ian, she clung to his leg, she cried and yelled. Once he left for work she was a different creature, sweet, happy and well behaved. Wednesday and Thursday were his days off, and things went back to "usual," with temper tantrums and the rest. This morning as he was leaving for work she was clinging to his leg and screaming bloody murder, but since he left it's been a breeze. I'm starting to see a pattern here, how about you? Anyone have any advice for how we can deal with this little problem, cause I'm at a loss, and Ian is getting pretty frustrated.

We are off to look at a house in Milestone tonight. If we like it, we are going to make an offer on it right away. No thinking, no futzing around. If we wait, even till tomorrow morning, the house will likely be gone. Wish us luck, I really hope it's worth offering something for. I can't wait to get out of this apartment and into a house.

Elitist Scum

So, things are going well so far. Frances is over a week old now, and it feels incredibly odd still to have her around. Every once in a while I look at her and think "that was in me," and it just blows my mind. It also feels strange when I realize I have 2 children. When did that happen? Shouldn't I be grown up before they let me have children? Why don't I feel grown up yet?

Breast feeding is not going very well. I hate it. So, I quit. I was starting to get the ugly feelings that I had towards Mary when I was feeding Frances, but this time I was more aware of what was causing me to hate my child. So, I quit giving her the boob all together and I am not exclusively pumping. She's still getting only breast milk at this time, but my breasts seem to be somewhat elitist and my milk production has dropped. I've been pumping regularly, but in spite of my best efforts my milk has gone from copious amounts to a trickle. I'm not going to give up, but eventually we will have to start supplementing with formula. I don't mind feeding her formula, we did with Mary and she turned out fine, but I would like to get a few more weeks of boob juice into her.

The house hunt is still going abysmally. We are getting very discouraged. The house in Earl Grey is wonderful, but we are having second thoughts about it. The school in that town was just closed down, and we really aren't certain that we want to live somewhere that the kids will have to bus too school. Also, the house has a wood basement rather than concrete, and that's a bit of a concern too. Of course, it's looking like we can't be too picky now, if we want something we can afford we will have to move to a town without a school.

Sisters

Things are going well with our little family. Mary is still feeling a little put out, but she doesn't take it out on Frances. She's incredibly gentle with the baby, gives her kisses and loves to hold her. She takes her diaper change assistant duties very seriously and she makes sure to let us know every time that Frances cries.

Frances is sleeping well at night (please don't let me jinx it), only waking us up twice through the night to have a bite to eat. I'm working hard to wake her regularly during the day, and she seems to have her most alert times in the late afternoon and early evening, which is FAR better than at 2 am like Mary's was.

Breast feeding is going well. I make enough milk to feed an army of starving babies. I suppose that's good, but man my boobs hurt all the time. They're like giant, hard, milk filled basketballs on my chest.

Ian goes back to work on Monday, I'm kind of dreading not having him around. He's a great help, especially when Mary needs some extra attention and I'm busy feeding Frances. Hopefully things will continue to go well once he's back at work.

We are off to look at another house this afternoon in a town called Earl Grey, about 40 minutes north of Regina. Hopefully this one will work out, I really can't wait to get out of this apartment.

It's A Girl!

Whew. What a weekend!

Friday was a long and miserable day. I was hot, pregnant, miserable and I just wasn't feeling right. By time Ian got home from work I was incredibly crabby, and shortly after he got home I started feeling crampy in my belly. I was pretty sure that I was constipated, so aside from complaining about it to Ian, I didn't do much except suffer. That night was long, I was crampy and sore all night long, and I only slept for about an hour or so. By time morning came I was still pretty certain it was my bowels, but Ian convinced me to call a nurse to ask, just in case.

So, Saturday morning I called the nurse, and she recommended that we go in to the hospital because it sounded like I was in labour. We were supposed to go look at houses, so we called our agent and let him know we would need to reschedule, and would likely go out in the afternoon instead of the morning. We got to the hospital and after taking my history, they decided to check things out down there. I was 4 cm dilated! I really was in labour. The nurses wanted to send me home, they figured I was too happy to be a concern, but when the Dr. came and checked me out he told them to admit me.

So, I paced around for a few hours as the contractions got more intense, and at 4:30 in the afternoon the Dr came and broke my waters. I was still only 4 cm dilated, but my contractions were very regular and more painful. After my waters were broken it got even more painful, and I tried out the nitrous oxide. It helped a little, but as things progressed it just didn't cut it. At 7:30 I was still at 4 cm, but they gave me an epidural anyways. By 8:30 I was at 6 cm, and while the I was still feeling the contractions, the pain medication made it tolerable for the time being. By 9:30 I was shaking, and the pain was incredible. The nurse checked and said that I was just about at 10 cm, and that she would go out and get things ready for the delivery. The minute she left another contraction hit, and I felt myself pushing. I told Ian (shrieked at him) and he tried to tell me not too push. The next contraction I felt the baby's head move down, and an awful burn. The nurse and the doctor hurried in, and after 15 more minutes of pushing, the baby was born! It was amazingly quick and while incredibly painful, it was worth it.

It's amazing how different this experience was from Marys birth. With Mary I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Nothing seemed to go right, for the delivery itself there were 8 other people in the room and I didn't get to hold Mary for almost 24 hours after she was born. This time it was easy, my body did everything it needed too, it was just Ian, the Dr and the nurse in the room, and I was able to cuddle Frances right away. From the minute she was born she was never out of my sight. With Mary, even though there were tonnes of complications they discharged me from the hospital less than 24 hours after she was born, but with Frances they kept me for two full days.

The only real problem I had this time around was that I was in isolation for the whole time because I had been in the hospital in Edmonton, and everyone is paranoid about an antibiotic resistant bacteria (I think it's called MRSV) that has been found in Alberta hospitals. I told them that I was tested in Edmonton and was negative, but they weren't taking any risks. So I was trapped in my room, and anyone who came to see me had to wear a gown, mask and gloves. It was pretty ridiculous, but I did get a private room for free out of the whole deal.

Things are still going surprisingly well now that we are home. Mary has taken the new baby in stride and enjoys giving her kisses and sharing her stuffed animals with her. We'll see how long it is till the novelty of a baby around wears off, but for now I'm just enjoying watching my girls together.

It's a no

We didn't get the house, in spite of offering twelve thousand dollars more than the asking price. Boo.

House

We just put an offer on a house! You can see it here : http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d0%26Page%3d1%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%26mp%3d60000-175000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d2-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d1651%252c1662%252c1671%252c1670%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d1585&Mode=0&PropertyID=5763591 (by the way, can someone tell me what codes it takes to make a link, keyboard shortcuts don't work in the browser that we are using now). We offered a good deal more than the asking price as it is being sold by the Sask Government, and they are planning on taking the highest offer. Ian is concerned that we aren't offering enough, I think we've offered way too much, but we will see. It does need quite a bit of work, but at under 100 thousand dollars, we can afford to do what is needed. It has a huge, beautiful fenced back yard which Mary has already enjoyed. The town of Milestone is only about 30 minutes away from Regina, and it is a really nice place as far as small town Saskatchewan goes. It has both an elementary and a high school so the children won't have to bus to another town, it has two gas stations, a co-op grocery store, and a couple of other shops as well. The biggest problem right now is that we have to wait till Friday to hear a yes or no because of government red tape and all the rest. Ugh. Anyways, wish us luck! If the offer is accepted we will take possession July 18th.

Oh, and as promised, here is a picture or two of the little Miss!


Enjoying an ice cream cone at the Milky Way (some of the best soft serve ice cream ever)
.

In her party dress for Grandma's birthday. She got it absolutely filthy in a hurry once we got there.


Showing off her musical talents while I was in the hospital. She's clearly taking after her father, Mr. David Bowie.

Don't Take It Personally

I read several blogs every day, one of which is called Parent Dish. Parent Dish is a site where several people are paid to post on all things related to parenting, and encourage discussion in the comments amongst the readers. Sometimes the articles are ridiculous, sometimes they are thought provoking, and often they fall somewhere in between the two. Sometimes the comments fill me with blinding rage. The judgmental attitudes of other parents makes me sick. Today I read one article and it's comments that made me see red.

The basic gist of the article is that men are increasingly afraid of volunteering with children because they worry about being labeled as pedophiles. A couple of fathers posted saying that this is true, and frustrating for them. How unfair it is that they are made to feel uncomfortable when out alone with their own children. How unfair it is that they are made to feel like Bad Men if they try to help or talk to another child. And then the loonies came out. These women regularly post on this site, and they rarely have anything sensible to say. One woman had this to say:

"Men, you should know that you are suspect by virtue of your gender. The vast majority of pedophiles are men. Don't take it personally and make sure that nothing you do can be misconstrued. Don't play tickle games. Don't ever close a door when you're alone with a child. Be careful where you touch a child."

I just about spit out my tea when I read that....but it didn't end there. One father took offense to what she said, responding:

"Why not take it personally? You're basically telling us were all suspected pedophiles and shouldn't ever be around children - anything can be misconstrued."

And she went on to respond with this gem:

"I say don't take it personally because it *isn't* personal. It is a fear based completely on your gender. It has nothing do do with what you have or haven't done. No, you shouldn't hug a child unless you have a relationship with both the child and the parents that warrants hugging. Even then, you should be careful. There *is* a way to give a chaste hug."

Another father responded with this:

"Unbelievable. This post is making me sick. 'Sorry, we suspect you're a pedophile JUST BECAUSE you're a man?' 'shouldn't hug a child unless you have a relationship with the child and the parent that warrants hugging?' What the?

I've worked with kids of all ages. Do you have any idea how many toddler-age kids will spontaneously hug you? What are you supposed to do? "Sorry, honey, you can't hug me because I'm a man, and that means that I am evil"?

Give me a break. Does anyone else think that this is just sick? We're letting the bad guys run - and ruin - our lives and our children's lives!"

And back to our original, "Don't take it personal" poster. This was her response to the above father:

"It's "Sorry we suspect that you *might* be a pedophile JUST BECAUSE you're a man." I watch my children carefully around dogs, too. Because they are animals and have teeth, they *might* bite. If I see a dog who is mildly out of control, I won't let my kids go near it. The owner, if he doesn't want people to misinterpret his dog, should make sure his dog acts in accordance with the image the owner wants to project. Same thing with people.

I hang out with a lot of toddlers and they are definitely not commonly spontaneous huggers.

A man is supposed to give a chaste hug back. This can be one armed, it can be two armed, it can be a head rub, it can be a back pat, it can be a high five. Do I have to spell out that the man's waist area should never be near the child? If the man wants to avoid false accusations or misinterpretations of his actions, he should be very sure that his actions are obviously what they are meant to be."

Did you get that? "A man's waist area should never be near the child." Tough to do around my daughter and most children her age given her height. Oh no! My little girl was in the general vicinity of a penis! That man she walked past who didn't immediately turn his waist away must be a pedophile! Gasp! Another penis, this mall is FULL of pedophiles!

The ridiculous paranoia and half baked logic that goes on in conversations like this really makes me ill. Especially the "Don't take it personally" bit. I mean, seriously...would you say to a black person "Don't take it personally, it's only because of your skin colour that I don't trust you." Or to a Jewish person "Don't take it personally, it's only because you're a jew that I (insert random stereotype here)?" Oh, even better...would you say to a woman "Don't take it personally, it's just because you're a woman that you should be barefoot, pregnant and cooking me supper in the kitchen?" The first thing I think when I see a man with a child is not "Oh My God! Pedophile!"

I hate the fact that sensationalist media and the Nanny State has made us all terrified of our neighbours. Yes, there are bad people out there, but I simply cannot believe that lurking behind every mans friendly smile is a rapist or pedophile. I don't believe that there is a kidnapper around every corner just waiting for me to be off my guard. Yes, there are lots of whacko's out there, but I really believe that most of them are of the harmless variety. I refuse to go through life jumping at shadows and suspecting my neighbours of the worst. Maybe this makes me one of the whacko's, but I still believe that the majority of the people I run into on a daily basis are Good Guys, not Bad Guys.

Ahem. Okay then, rant finished. Back to regular programming. Maybe a little later I'll post a picture or two of Mary. Oh, and while I'm not making any promises, I'm going to try to post more often here in the future, I've been a serious lollyblogger since moving to Regina.

Lack Of Control

Can you believe that it's June 1st already? Only 2 weeks left till the estimated date of arrival for the baby, and after that I can get REALLY grumpy if it hasn't shown up yet.

Today is Ians first day of work in over a month! He was pretty excited (well, as excited as my stoic little husband ever gets) to be back to work, and he was a little nervous. I haven't heard anything from him yet, so I assume that they day is going well so far. Mary and I are at a bit of a loss as to what to do with ourselves without him around, but so far Mary has accepted that Daddy is at work, and whenever she starts to miss him she informs me very seriously "Daddy Work" and that's the end of it till the next time she thinks about him.

We went to a place called Tots Cafe this morning. We've been there several times since moving to Regina, and we quite like it. It has an indoor playground area as well as a place for parents to sit and drink tea or pop, hang out and chat or whatever else they want, really. It's an incredibly child friendly place, as well as a great place for parents to go. Anyways, it was going really well, Mary was having a blast and had actually befriended (as much as a 2 year old can) a little girl named Mikayla. There were several other kids around Marys age playing peacefully, if not together then near each other and there was no fighting. Then this woman brought her two horrible grandsons in. The moment they got there I knew they would be trouble...they started demanding that she buy them this or that, and yelling rudely at her. She just ignored them, shoo'd them to the play area, and sat down with her book. She proceeded to ignore them as they bossed around the littler kids (they were both older, around 6 and 8 or so), bullying and shoving and sending several of them, including Mikayla, off in tears. Marys little friends mother sighed and packed up the little girl and her newborn and left, and when one of the horrible creatures pushed Mary off a slide and she started crying, I left too. I guess I should have said something, but I kept thinking that the stupid cow would step in and say something to her awful grandchildren. It was clear that they were bullies and being plain mean. Mary was ready to go at that point anyways, but it was still a frustrating way to end a nice morning.

Oh, and while I was there a woman came up to me and asked if I had gone to Massey elementary or Campbell High school...I had gone to both, so I smiled a little blankly and said that I had. I guess she did too, and while she was a couple of years older than me, she recognized me as soon as I walked in. I'm afraid I was a little rude to her as I was paralyzed with shyness and nervousness and I only mumbled some small talk and ran off to sit by myself as soon as I could. Sigh. I could have made friends with her and her sister, and actually had a friend here in Regina. Maybe I'll see them again there some time.

We got our cable hooked up yesterday. It's nice to have tv again and to be able to watch something other than Cars or Finding Nemo. We got a promotional deal where we get pretty much every channel under the sun for a very inexpensive fee. I find that I'm still watching the same channels as I did with our regular cable back home. Even when you have 200+ channels, there's still rarely anything worth watching on...though if I wanted I could watch CSI 24 hours a day.