Sunday, July 24, 2005

One whole year

Wow, it's really hard to believe that Ian and I have been married for a whole year. The last couple of years of our life have been incredibly busy with buying a house, getting married, and having a baby, and it doesn't look like things will be calming down any time soon. We will work to pay off our debts, I will find a part time job, and in a year or so, I think we will work on giving Mary a little sibling.

Ian really means everything to me, he has given me more than anyone ever has before. He tolerates my moods, he looks after me, he loves me, he works so hard to keep me happy. He is incredibly responsible, and although he isn't as romantic and sensitive as I sometimes wish, he loves me, and that is something I never doubt.

I think that I started to love Ian the first time I met him. He was strange, and a little scary, and he couldn't get through a conversation without warning someone not to touch him. But he was funny, kind, and he had an awesome tattoo. I was dating someone else for the first couple of years that we knew each other, but Ian quickly grew into a friend that I counted on for a lot of support. He was there when my boyfriend at the time and I argued, he was there when we got along. He took me shopping and to the movies, which L (the boyfriend) flat out refused to do. He gamed with me, and listened to me, and gave me a shoulder to cry on. When Ian's girlfriend took me out for coffee and told me that she had broken up with him, I just wanted to slap her. What was she thinking? I knew that if I had Ian, I would never ever let him go. Things in my relationship with L were going very poorly, both of us were unhappy. I remember laying in bed at night, thinking about how when L and I got divorced, I would go to Halifax to find Ian. I knew that something had to change, but I was afraid to do anything. You see, L and I were engaged to be married, and the wedding was coming up very quickly. Finally, one night, about 2 weeks before the wedding, something happened, L and I fought, and I knew that it wouldn't be fair to either of us to go through with the wedding. I called it off, and Ian was there for me, as usual. I knew that I loved him. It was a horrible, difficult thing to do, calling off that wedding, I was terrified that my friends and family would hate me. I felt particularly guilty because I was practically leaving L at the alter, and moving directly into a relationship with Ian. I did loose some friends because of that decision, but honestly, I have gained so much more(and L is now married, and very happily from what I hear).

Anyways, I know that I made the right decision, and I have never ever regretted what I did. I don't believe in "soul mates," but if I did, I'm sure that Ian would be mine. I love him more now than I did a year ago, and I cant imagine growing old without him.

So, our anniversary was nice, and low key. We went to Brewsters for lunch, mostly because we didn't have the baby, and that isn't somewhere we could go with her, and then we went and saw Batman Begins (fantastic movie!). Then we picked up the baby, brought her home, and just hung out. We didn't even drink the champagne we have been saving since our wedding. Maybe we will drink it next week, or maybe we will wait till next year.

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