Saturday, August 13, 2005

Five ways to drive me insane in 48 hours or less

5. Play "Party for Two" by Shania Twain over and over and over and over...
4. Say "tsk. oh." or "tsk. hmm." every time I answer a question about how I deal with a certain situation pertaining to my daughter.
3. Interrupt me.
2. Don't let me finish my cup of tea in the morning.
1. Refer to my baby as your baby, and introduce her to people as your baby. I was the one who was split in half by forceps to bring that child into this world, I was the one who didn't sleep the entire week she was in the neonatal intensive care unit, I am her mother. She is MY baby, not yours.

On another note, living with teenagers is so much fun. Here is a conversation that I had with the boy-child upon returning home this morning.

Boy: Ah, Jennifer, is there someone you were supposed to meet with this weekend?
Me: Well Boy, there are a lot of people that I want to meet with while I'm here. I have called a few friends and left messages, but only S has gotten back to me so far.
Boy: Oh. Well, someone called, they cant meet with you.
Me: Who called, Boy?
Boy: I dunno. Someone who you were supposed to meet.
Me: didn't you write a message down, or anything?
Boy: No.
Me: Why would you not write down a message for me, Boy? There are a lot of people that I want to see this weekend, and I'd like to know who it was that called.
Boy: I dunno, I just didn't. I can *69 their phone number for you if you want.
Me: (Insert sound of teeth grinding here)

I swear, I will have more positive things to say about this visit once I get home, but right now, I'm ready to tear my hair out. Please, wont someone tell me that I'm a good mother...I am really feeling like I'm not, and it's horrible.


Shani said...

You are more than a good mother, you are a wonderful mother! Mary is well taken care of by you, well loved, and she knows it. Look at that little girl while she reaches for you, not anyone else, you! You're the one she wants when she's upset, not anyone else. You're the one who she wants to be held by when she's sleepy. You're the one who knows what her different cries mean. And you're the one who knows that she's saying "cat" when she squeals out "gah!" excitedly when a cat is within ten feet of her.

You're the one who sits up with her late at night when she's sick, you're the one that get rewarded with her hugs and snuggles. You're her mommy, and she knows it and everyone knows it. You are a fantastic mommy, and we here back home know it.

But the most important person with the most important opinion of how good of a mommy you are is right there with you. And she loves you.

Now, go pick your baby up, snuggle her close, and if any of them say that you're spoiling her by holding her all the time, smile and nod at them and then tuck your head in to hers and get a good noseful of baby powder goodness and know that she's all yours.

Goody said...

You are a terrific mother. Don't let Mrs. Bossy get to you.

Anne R. Key said...

Hey, tell Michael that she can lick your ass til it bleeds. Better yet, want me to do it?

I'm spoiling for an opportunity to swear at someone!

Starlin' said...

Oh, I've so been there...

I finally had a very unpleasant conversation with my mother in which I told her that the parenting choices I made were all carefully considered and/or researched, and would not be changed; that her implying that I was less than competent would result in seriously decreased contact; and that her job as a mother was now to make /me/ feel good about /myself/ as a mother. I also responded to any questions/comments on parenting choices, from her or other people, by quoting a professional or book supporting my position (if in doubt, try "actually, these days they're saying that-"). Needless to say, I felt free to bullshit. ;)

There are many right ways to raise a child, and the benchmarks are these. Is your baby safe and happy?
Is your baby preventing other people from being safe and happy?
Beyond that, it's all in the details. You're doing fine, and /everybody/ goes through awful relatives who think they know better.

Now, of course, I hold the trunmp card. Foster care means that I have enough scary stories to whiten their hair to the roots... ;)

Hugs, and call me for a playdate when you get back.

~ Star

Rodicon said...

Let's be perfectly honest, family will always be the worst people you know. They treat you like shit, tell how to run your life, raise your kids, blah, blah, blah and then have the nerve to expect you to enjoy yourself at Christmas dinner even when the turkey is as dry as a bone and grandpa over there won't stop hocking a logy into his handkerchief at the table. Ugh.

Anne R. Key said...

Actually, with the glaring and occasional exception of my father, I rather enjoy my family, even the extended bits. And certainly no one in my immediate circle of acquaintences would "hock a loogie" in any situation, not and expect to maintain our level of association.

Leon is, of course, the exception to the rule, but he has some formidable mental health issues and some insurmountable genetic baggage.

But perhaps I'm lucky.

Rodicon said...

I think you are lucky. The family I'm not actualy realted to are wonderful, if a bit religious at times,(french catholic after all), but my blood relatives make me resent the fact I'm realted to them. And my uncle has terrible table manners... *sigh*

Eman said...

I heard that song today driving to work, and it stuck with me all day. I can sympathize.

Anonymous said...
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Rodicon said...

Hey what happened to the last one?