Wednesday, August 10, 2005
I should have known better
I really, really should have. I got my hopes up, what a stupid mistake. We are lower middle class, so trapped in debt that there is no way we could ever scramble out, and it seems that is where the world wants us. No one will pay for my schooling, no one will even give me a loan. That means that in 2 months, my only option (aside from working retail at $7/hr) is to go back to that hellhole of a job. You know the one that stressed me out so much that my bloodpressure shot through the roof and I had to be put on bed rest for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. The one where the boss ordered my 8 month pregnant co-worker to shovel the walks. When I go back to work, I will be bringing home even less than I am now after paying for daycare, for someone else to raise my daughter, not to mention that I will be miserable. There is no way I will ever make more money without getting an education, and there is no way for me to get an education. We cant even afford to save money so Mary doesnt end up in the same boat. I guess if there werent poor people, then the rich people wouldnt feel so special, right? I have some other thoughts about visible minorities that I will keep to myself right now, I dont like being racist, but at times like this, it is hard not to resent the fact that if I were Native, I would have people climbing over eachother to pay for my schooling. I just cant seem to stop crying right now, I think Im going to go back to bed.
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4 comments:
Jeez, sweetie, *hug*, really sorry to hear that. But EI can't be the only program out there to help with this? I unfortunatly don't know the government well enough to say. Anyone else? What about traditional fininacing ,(student loans)? I know that's not the best way to go at all, (lord only knows my debt,) but they often have remission,(spelling?), and you may qualify for such a thing if you do well with your schooling. It may mean you have to work but the daycare charges would be covered so you could bring home more money for other things.
I wish I knew more about the school finacning aspect considering I am dealing with it.
*hug again*
There must be some other route-I know it sounds overwhelming to start searching for grants at the moment, perhaps by the next enrollment period you can line something up. I don't know Canada's rules either, but let me poke around for you and see what I can come up with.
Have you thought about home daycare-perhaps take in a couple other little ones to watch with Mary? I feel so horrible for you-I really wish we lived closer, I could at least have you over for a cup of tea and a good cry.
The fellow I spoke with at NAIT today was very nice as he dashed any hope I had of getting any sort of funding, grants, loans or whatever. He looked at how much Ian brings home monthly, and sadly shook his head. Apparantly two adults and an infant should only require $1800/mo to survive comfortably. As for student loans, our car is worth too much money, and again, Ian makes too much money.
Anyways, thank you for the thoughts. It is too bad that we are so far apart, Goody, I could certainly use a nice cup of tea, not to mention a good cry with someone other than Mary and the cats to comfort me.
Have you ever given serious thought to crime?
I'm just joking...maybe?
But seriously you shouldn't get so down. You're better off than a lot of people, and Mary is still an infant.
She's not going to grow up twisted because you guys didn't live in a mansion. She has all the really important stuff already.
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