One Month

Can you believe it? It's been a whole month since Frances was born. It seems like yesterday, and it seems like she's been part of our family forever. It's amazing how much she's changed in the last month. She's gained over 2 pounds, she's much longer and bigger. She spends more time awake than she did when she first came home too. I don't mind it during the day, and when she isn't yelling at me, but she seems to have a scheduled alert time at around 4 am every day. Ugh. She is still a remarkably good baby, even though she does have her moments. She only wakes once or twice during the night, she's relatively cheerful and easy to look after. She had a hard time over the weekend when the weather was so ridiculously hot, but 38 degree heat will make even the best of us miserable. I know that people say that you shouldn't wish for your children to grow up because they do it so quickly, but I really can't wait till she is a bit older. I really quite dislike the newborn phase of life, and I'm looking forward to when Frances is a bit more interactive and fun to be around.

The mortgage issue finally resolved, and in our favour. We have a mortgage, although the intrest rate is absolutely ridiculous. We'll keep with this company for a few years, and eventually our credit will be better and Ian will be getting paid a bit more, and we can shop around again. I can't wait to get into our home, less than a month left till we get the keys! The month of August will be spend moving and fixing things up so that everything is close to perfect when we move in. Have I mentioned that I'm giddy with excitement about getting our house?

Mary is doing well. She really is a fantastic little creature, in spite of the occasional (regular) temper tantrums. She loves Frances deeply, and gets very concerned about her. She likes to help us burp her now, she pats the babys back very gently and shouts "I did it!" if Frances burps. She gives her kisses every night when she goes to bed, and loves to give her hugs. The only time she's really shown that she'd rather not have Frances around is when we leave my Dads place. She always says "Bye Grandpa, bye Grandma, bye Baby Frances!" but she never seems disappointed when Frances comes home with us instead of staying behind.

Happy Dominion Day

In Days of yore,
From Britain's shore
Wolfe the dauntless hero came
And planted firm Britannia's flag
On Canada's fair domain.
Here may it wave,
Our boast, our pride
And joined in love together,
The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
The Maple Leaf Forever.

The Maple Leaf
Our Emblem Dear,
The Maple Leaf Forever.
God save our Queen and heaven bless,
The Maple Leaf Forever.

At Queenston Heights and Lundy's Lane
Our brave fathers side by side
For freedom's home and loved ones dear,
Firmly stood and nobly died.
And so their rights which they maintained,
We swear to yeild them never.
Our watchword ever more shall be
The Maple Leaf Forever

The Maple Leaf
Our Emblem Dear,
The Maple Leaf Forever.
God save our Queen and heaven bless,
The Maple Leaf Forever.

Our fair Dominion now extends
From Cape Race to Nootka Sound
May peace forever be our lot
And plenty a store abound
And may those ties of love be ours
Which discord cannot sever
And flourish green for freedom's home
The Maple Leaf Forever

I've always thought that the Maple Leaf Forever was a much more stirring and patriotic song than Oh Canada which is kind of a sissy song if you ask me.

I keep thinking about what a wonderful country we live in, and what a beautiful and diverse country. I'm awfully proud to live here, and I count myself lucky that I have seen so much of this country. I've walked in the rain forest at Clayoquot Sound on the west coast of Vancouver Island. I've touched a glacier in the rockies, I've been to the deserts around Osoyoos in the Okanogan valley. I've visited a town called Kyuquot that has no roads in or out, the residents all own boats instead of cars. And that's only one province! I have visited the flat prairie of southern Saskatchewan, and I've seen the beauty of northern Saskatchewan's lakes and forests. I've seen the red sands of PEI, and I've driven through the never ending rocks, trees and water of north western Ontario. One day I hope that I can visit the Territories and Newfoundland, I'd love to see ever bit of this country.

Anyways, in other news, things are going poorly here. We still haven't heard anything about a mortgage. We have a mortgage broker looking into some solutions for us, but we won't hear from him till Tuesday because of the long weekend. Our conditions on the sale of the house have to be removed by Wednesday, so things are pretty tight. If we can't get a mortgage, we are all going to be very unhappy people.

On top of the stress of the house stuff, I've managed to pick up a raging case of mastitis. Not pleasant. I've been feverish and achy, and my boob feels like someone has been using it as a punching bag. I finally gave in and went to the doctor yesterday and he gave me heck for not going in sooner. He mentioned that women used to die, die of mastitis. So now I am on heavy duty antibiotics, and I still feel icky. I was going to go to the park today with Ian and the girls, but I'm not sure I'm feeling quite up to the heat and the crowds.

Well, I'll end this post of with more lyrics of another song about how great Canada is. Hope everyone has a good long weekend!

I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is too small
Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks,

"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Now isn't that stupid!?"

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the territories, they're too cold!

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that its right next to us!"

'Cause Alberta doesn't suck
But Calgary does

Grumpy

Well, things are looking slightly up on the mortgage front. We have contacted a mortgage broker and he seems to think that he can get us a mortgage. Of course we have to give a much higher down payment, and we have to get my father to cosign for us, but oh well, hopefully we will still be able to get the house that we love.

I'm feeling pretty miserable still though. Frances was up from 3am to 6am last night, and Ian slept through the whole thing. I sat there in bed weeping and begging the baby to go to sleep. She finally did, but she and Mary were up for the day shortly before 8. Yuck. I've also developed a case of mastitis, which is incredibly unpleasant. I'm feverish and sick, my boob aches something fierce, and I'm exhausted. I have no idea when I'll get a chance to get to the doctor either, maybe tonight if I'm lucky. I also have to pick up some pictures for my father who is off to the Okanogan for a family reunion on friday. Not to mention that I need kitty litter, cat food and other stuff. At least Mary and Frances have been relatively well behaved today.

....

I cannot even begin to express my rage. We went to the bank yesterday to get things squared away for our mortgage. We assumed that, because our old mortgage was "fully portable" there would be no problems. Never, ever trust the bank. Our mortgage was refused, and they won't even accept my father co-signing for us. So, we've sold our home, moved to a new city, and now we can't buy a new house. We're fucked, pardon my language.

This news comes at a relatively bad time for me. Since Sunday or so I've been feeling incredibly homesick for my friends, and for Edmonton itself. Now I can't help but think that we made the biggest mistake of our lives selling our house and moving here.

Our house

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?PropertyID=5897153&Mode=0&Page=1&vs=1&rlt=&cp=&pt=0&mp=100000-125000-0&mrt=-1-0-0&Beds=0-0&Baths=0-0&f=&ft=all&o=A&of=1&ps=10&ptgid=1&aid=1671%2c1670&MapURL=%3fAreaID%3d1585

House

Our offer was accepted! Yay! We are beginning the process to own a 1227 square foot bungalow in Milestone Saskatchewan. It's a really lovely place, only a block away from the schools, schools which will not be closing any time in the future as most of the small towns around Milestone are already bussing their kids in to them. It comes with a dishwasher, beautiful new stainless stove and fridge, and a satellite dish. The furnace is new, as is the hot water tank, the basement is concrete and in good shape. It has three bedrooms on the main floor and one in the basement, along with a playroom complete with painted mural, a living room/rec room area and a large laundry/storage area. There are one and a half bathrooms on the main floor, one off the master bedroom and the full bath has a jet soaker tub. The kitchen is nice and big and open, and off the dining room area there are french doors leading to a brand new, very nice deck. The back yard isn't fenced, but it's huge and really well taken care of, oh, and it has built in sprinklers too. It needs some paint, as the previous owners painted specifically for their own tastes and kids, and it will need new windows, but other than that we really don't think it needs much work. We are getting a home inspection done anyways, so we may find something out there, but I'm confident that it won't be anything we can't handle. We take possession on August 3rd, which works well for us as our lease here ends at the end of August. That way we can take the month to move slowly and get everything that needs to be done done. I'll take pictures and post them here as soon as we get a chance, but that probably won't be till August.

I'm so glad that things finally worked out for us! This house is more what we were looking for than the others that we put offers on, so yay!

I Heart Saskatchewan

Man the weather here is stinky. I had forgotten how miserable summers in Regina can get when it gets hot. I suspect I will be reminded about how miserable winters are here in a few months too. Why on earth would anyone want to live here? It's incredibly hot and humid right now, and a severe thunderstorm watch and tornado watch has just been issued for the city. Yay!

When I was a child, I was terrified of summer storms, and any time a tornado watch was issued I would insist on hiding in the basement. My parents and brother would laugh at me, but I felt it was important to be safe, you know? People who aren't from this part of the world have no idea how terrifying and bizarre these storms can get. I remember one time when I was about 15, my dad, brother and I were out playing football in the back yard. It had been a hot, sunny day, one of those summer days that you'll always remember. There was hardly any wind, the sky was blue and we were planning a bbq for supper that night. All of a sudden the air changed colour...I'm not sure how to describe it, but the air was yellow. My Mum always described it as being inside a glass of ginger-ale, everything was tinted. The humidity went up, and there was a strange roaring noise. I looked up, and you could actually see the wind coming, down the street the trees were bent over with the wind, but it was still perfectly calm where we were. The wind hit us, and a few seconds later the thunder and lightening started. It was spectacular (not that I noticed, I was huddled in the safety of the basement). The worst summer storm experience I ever had was when I was out delivering flyers and the storm appeared like magic over my head. I ended up huddled on someone's front step, too terrified to move, for about an hour till my Dad came and found me and took me home.

I don't feel the same level of panic at every storm warning these days, but I can't help but get a little nervous when the tornado warnings come out. Thank god I live in a basement suite.

We did end up putting an offer on the house we saw last night. It was beautiful and I fell in love with it right away. We offered 10 thousand more than asking, and hopefully that's enough. We do know that another offer came in at the same time as ours, so now we are just waiting to hear what the sellers have decided. We gave them till 4 this afternoon to get back to us, so we should hear back soon.

Daddy's Girl

Ian went back to work this week. I have to admit, I was really quite worried about him being gone all day and having to deal with both girls by myself. Monday morning came and I was extremely stressed out. Mary has been extremely needy since Frances came into our home, and it was usual to have to deal with one raging temper tantrum every day.

So, Monday came, Ian went to work, and I braced myself. There was not one temper tantrum all day long. No tears, no clinging to legs, no hitting, no shrieking. Mary was happy and well behaved and sweet all day long. Until Ian came home. Tuesday Ian didn't work till 1:30 in the afternoon. The morning was rough, Mary demanded to be picked up and carried around by Ian, she clung to his leg, she cried and yelled. Once he left for work she was a different creature, sweet, happy and well behaved. Wednesday and Thursday were his days off, and things went back to "usual," with temper tantrums and the rest. This morning as he was leaving for work she was clinging to his leg and screaming bloody murder, but since he left it's been a breeze. I'm starting to see a pattern here, how about you? Anyone have any advice for how we can deal with this little problem, cause I'm at a loss, and Ian is getting pretty frustrated.

We are off to look at a house in Milestone tonight. If we like it, we are going to make an offer on it right away. No thinking, no futzing around. If we wait, even till tomorrow morning, the house will likely be gone. Wish us luck, I really hope it's worth offering something for. I can't wait to get out of this apartment and into a house.

Elitist Scum

So, things are going well so far. Frances is over a week old now, and it feels incredibly odd still to have her around. Every once in a while I look at her and think "that was in me," and it just blows my mind. It also feels strange when I realize I have 2 children. When did that happen? Shouldn't I be grown up before they let me have children? Why don't I feel grown up yet?

Breast feeding is not going very well. I hate it. So, I quit. I was starting to get the ugly feelings that I had towards Mary when I was feeding Frances, but this time I was more aware of what was causing me to hate my child. So, I quit giving her the boob all together and I am not exclusively pumping. She's still getting only breast milk at this time, but my breasts seem to be somewhat elitist and my milk production has dropped. I've been pumping regularly, but in spite of my best efforts my milk has gone from copious amounts to a trickle. I'm not going to give up, but eventually we will have to start supplementing with formula. I don't mind feeding her formula, we did with Mary and she turned out fine, but I would like to get a few more weeks of boob juice into her.

The house hunt is still going abysmally. We are getting very discouraged. The house in Earl Grey is wonderful, but we are having second thoughts about it. The school in that town was just closed down, and we really aren't certain that we want to live somewhere that the kids will have to bus too school. Also, the house has a wood basement rather than concrete, and that's a bit of a concern too. Of course, it's looking like we can't be too picky now, if we want something we can afford we will have to move to a town without a school.

Sisters

Things are going well with our little family. Mary is still feeling a little put out, but she doesn't take it out on Frances. She's incredibly gentle with the baby, gives her kisses and loves to hold her. She takes her diaper change assistant duties very seriously and she makes sure to let us know every time that Frances cries.

Frances is sleeping well at night (please don't let me jinx it), only waking us up twice through the night to have a bite to eat. I'm working hard to wake her regularly during the day, and she seems to have her most alert times in the late afternoon and early evening, which is FAR better than at 2 am like Mary's was.

Breast feeding is going well. I make enough milk to feed an army of starving babies. I suppose that's good, but man my boobs hurt all the time. They're like giant, hard, milk filled basketballs on my chest.

Ian goes back to work on Monday, I'm kind of dreading not having him around. He's a great help, especially when Mary needs some extra attention and I'm busy feeding Frances. Hopefully things will continue to go well once he's back at work.

We are off to look at another house this afternoon in a town called Earl Grey, about 40 minutes north of Regina. Hopefully this one will work out, I really can't wait to get out of this apartment.

It's A Girl!

Whew. What a weekend!

Friday was a long and miserable day. I was hot, pregnant, miserable and I just wasn't feeling right. By time Ian got home from work I was incredibly crabby, and shortly after he got home I started feeling crampy in my belly. I was pretty sure that I was constipated, so aside from complaining about it to Ian, I didn't do much except suffer. That night was long, I was crampy and sore all night long, and I only slept for about an hour or so. By time morning came I was still pretty certain it was my bowels, but Ian convinced me to call a nurse to ask, just in case.

So, Saturday morning I called the nurse, and she recommended that we go in to the hospital because it sounded like I was in labour. We were supposed to go look at houses, so we called our agent and let him know we would need to reschedule, and would likely go out in the afternoon instead of the morning. We got to the hospital and after taking my history, they decided to check things out down there. I was 4 cm dilated! I really was in labour. The nurses wanted to send me home, they figured I was too happy to be a concern, but when the Dr. came and checked me out he told them to admit me.

So, I paced around for a few hours as the contractions got more intense, and at 4:30 in the afternoon the Dr came and broke my waters. I was still only 4 cm dilated, but my contractions were very regular and more painful. After my waters were broken it got even more painful, and I tried out the nitrous oxide. It helped a little, but as things progressed it just didn't cut it. At 7:30 I was still at 4 cm, but they gave me an epidural anyways. By 8:30 I was at 6 cm, and while the I was still feeling the contractions, the pain medication made it tolerable for the time being. By 9:30 I was shaking, and the pain was incredible. The nurse checked and said that I was just about at 10 cm, and that she would go out and get things ready for the delivery. The minute she left another contraction hit, and I felt myself pushing. I told Ian (shrieked at him) and he tried to tell me not too push. The next contraction I felt the baby's head move down, and an awful burn. The nurse and the doctor hurried in, and after 15 more minutes of pushing, the baby was born! It was amazingly quick and while incredibly painful, it was worth it.

It's amazing how different this experience was from Marys birth. With Mary I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Nothing seemed to go right, for the delivery itself there were 8 other people in the room and I didn't get to hold Mary for almost 24 hours after she was born. This time it was easy, my body did everything it needed too, it was just Ian, the Dr and the nurse in the room, and I was able to cuddle Frances right away. From the minute she was born she was never out of my sight. With Mary, even though there were tonnes of complications they discharged me from the hospital less than 24 hours after she was born, but with Frances they kept me for two full days.

The only real problem I had this time around was that I was in isolation for the whole time because I had been in the hospital in Edmonton, and everyone is paranoid about an antibiotic resistant bacteria (I think it's called MRSV) that has been found in Alberta hospitals. I told them that I was tested in Edmonton and was negative, but they weren't taking any risks. So I was trapped in my room, and anyone who came to see me had to wear a gown, mask and gloves. It was pretty ridiculous, but I did get a private room for free out of the whole deal.

Things are still going surprisingly well now that we are home. Mary has taken the new baby in stride and enjoys giving her kisses and sharing her stuffed animals with her. We'll see how long it is till the novelty of a baby around wears off, but for now I'm just enjoying watching my girls together.

It's a no

We didn't get the house, in spite of offering twelve thousand dollars more than the asking price. Boo.

House

We just put an offer on a house! You can see it here : http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d0%26Page%3d1%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%26mp%3d60000-175000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d2-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d1651%252c1662%252c1671%252c1670%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d1585&Mode=0&PropertyID=5763591 (by the way, can someone tell me what codes it takes to make a link, keyboard shortcuts don't work in the browser that we are using now). We offered a good deal more than the asking price as it is being sold by the Sask Government, and they are planning on taking the highest offer. Ian is concerned that we aren't offering enough, I think we've offered way too much, but we will see. It does need quite a bit of work, but at under 100 thousand dollars, we can afford to do what is needed. It has a huge, beautiful fenced back yard which Mary has already enjoyed. The town of Milestone is only about 30 minutes away from Regina, and it is a really nice place as far as small town Saskatchewan goes. It has both an elementary and a high school so the children won't have to bus to another town, it has two gas stations, a co-op grocery store, and a couple of other shops as well. The biggest problem right now is that we have to wait till Friday to hear a yes or no because of government red tape and all the rest. Ugh. Anyways, wish us luck! If the offer is accepted we will take possession July 18th.

Oh, and as promised, here is a picture or two of the little Miss!


Enjoying an ice cream cone at the Milky Way (some of the best soft serve ice cream ever)
.

In her party dress for Grandma's birthday. She got it absolutely filthy in a hurry once we got there.


Showing off her musical talents while I was in the hospital. She's clearly taking after her father, Mr. David Bowie.

Don't Take It Personally

I read several blogs every day, one of which is called Parent Dish. Parent Dish is a site where several people are paid to post on all things related to parenting, and encourage discussion in the comments amongst the readers. Sometimes the articles are ridiculous, sometimes they are thought provoking, and often they fall somewhere in between the two. Sometimes the comments fill me with blinding rage. The judgmental attitudes of other parents makes me sick. Today I read one article and it's comments that made me see red.

The basic gist of the article is that men are increasingly afraid of volunteering with children because they worry about being labeled as pedophiles. A couple of fathers posted saying that this is true, and frustrating for them. How unfair it is that they are made to feel uncomfortable when out alone with their own children. How unfair it is that they are made to feel like Bad Men if they try to help or talk to another child. And then the loonies came out. These women regularly post on this site, and they rarely have anything sensible to say. One woman had this to say:

"Men, you should know that you are suspect by virtue of your gender. The vast majority of pedophiles are men. Don't take it personally and make sure that nothing you do can be misconstrued. Don't play tickle games. Don't ever close a door when you're alone with a child. Be careful where you touch a child."

I just about spit out my tea when I read that....but it didn't end there. One father took offense to what she said, responding:

"Why not take it personally? You're basically telling us were all suspected pedophiles and shouldn't ever be around children - anything can be misconstrued."

And she went on to respond with this gem:

"I say don't take it personally because it *isn't* personal. It is a fear based completely on your gender. It has nothing do do with what you have or haven't done. No, you shouldn't hug a child unless you have a relationship with both the child and the parents that warrants hugging. Even then, you should be careful. There *is* a way to give a chaste hug."

Another father responded with this:

"Unbelievable. This post is making me sick. 'Sorry, we suspect you're a pedophile JUST BECAUSE you're a man?' 'shouldn't hug a child unless you have a relationship with the child and the parent that warrants hugging?' What the?

I've worked with kids of all ages. Do you have any idea how many toddler-age kids will spontaneously hug you? What are you supposed to do? "Sorry, honey, you can't hug me because I'm a man, and that means that I am evil"?

Give me a break. Does anyone else think that this is just sick? We're letting the bad guys run - and ruin - our lives and our children's lives!"

And back to our original, "Don't take it personal" poster. This was her response to the above father:

"It's "Sorry we suspect that you *might* be a pedophile JUST BECAUSE you're a man." I watch my children carefully around dogs, too. Because they are animals and have teeth, they *might* bite. If I see a dog who is mildly out of control, I won't let my kids go near it. The owner, if he doesn't want people to misinterpret his dog, should make sure his dog acts in accordance with the image the owner wants to project. Same thing with people.

I hang out with a lot of toddlers and they are definitely not commonly spontaneous huggers.

A man is supposed to give a chaste hug back. This can be one armed, it can be two armed, it can be a head rub, it can be a back pat, it can be a high five. Do I have to spell out that the man's waist area should never be near the child? If the man wants to avoid false accusations or misinterpretations of his actions, he should be very sure that his actions are obviously what they are meant to be."

Did you get that? "A man's waist area should never be near the child." Tough to do around my daughter and most children her age given her height. Oh no! My little girl was in the general vicinity of a penis! That man she walked past who didn't immediately turn his waist away must be a pedophile! Gasp! Another penis, this mall is FULL of pedophiles!

The ridiculous paranoia and half baked logic that goes on in conversations like this really makes me ill. Especially the "Don't take it personally" bit. I mean, seriously...would you say to a black person "Don't take it personally, it's only because of your skin colour that I don't trust you." Or to a Jewish person "Don't take it personally, it's only because you're a jew that I (insert random stereotype here)?" Oh, even better...would you say to a woman "Don't take it personally, it's just because you're a woman that you should be barefoot, pregnant and cooking me supper in the kitchen?" The first thing I think when I see a man with a child is not "Oh My God! Pedophile!"

I hate the fact that sensationalist media and the Nanny State has made us all terrified of our neighbours. Yes, there are bad people out there, but I simply cannot believe that lurking behind every mans friendly smile is a rapist or pedophile. I don't believe that there is a kidnapper around every corner just waiting for me to be off my guard. Yes, there are lots of whacko's out there, but I really believe that most of them are of the harmless variety. I refuse to go through life jumping at shadows and suspecting my neighbours of the worst. Maybe this makes me one of the whacko's, but I still believe that the majority of the people I run into on a daily basis are Good Guys, not Bad Guys.

Ahem. Okay then, rant finished. Back to regular programming. Maybe a little later I'll post a picture or two of Mary. Oh, and while I'm not making any promises, I'm going to try to post more often here in the future, I've been a serious lollyblogger since moving to Regina.

Lack Of Control

Can you believe that it's June 1st already? Only 2 weeks left till the estimated date of arrival for the baby, and after that I can get REALLY grumpy if it hasn't shown up yet.

Today is Ians first day of work in over a month! He was pretty excited (well, as excited as my stoic little husband ever gets) to be back to work, and he was a little nervous. I haven't heard anything from him yet, so I assume that they day is going well so far. Mary and I are at a bit of a loss as to what to do with ourselves without him around, but so far Mary has accepted that Daddy is at work, and whenever she starts to miss him she informs me very seriously "Daddy Work" and that's the end of it till the next time she thinks about him.

We went to a place called Tots Cafe this morning. We've been there several times since moving to Regina, and we quite like it. It has an indoor playground area as well as a place for parents to sit and drink tea or pop, hang out and chat or whatever else they want, really. It's an incredibly child friendly place, as well as a great place for parents to go. Anyways, it was going really well, Mary was having a blast and had actually befriended (as much as a 2 year old can) a little girl named Mikayla. There were several other kids around Marys age playing peacefully, if not together then near each other and there was no fighting. Then this woman brought her two horrible grandsons in. The moment they got there I knew they would be trouble...they started demanding that she buy them this or that, and yelling rudely at her. She just ignored them, shoo'd them to the play area, and sat down with her book. She proceeded to ignore them as they bossed around the littler kids (they were both older, around 6 and 8 or so), bullying and shoving and sending several of them, including Mikayla, off in tears. Marys little friends mother sighed and packed up the little girl and her newborn and left, and when one of the horrible creatures pushed Mary off a slide and she started crying, I left too. I guess I should have said something, but I kept thinking that the stupid cow would step in and say something to her awful grandchildren. It was clear that they were bullies and being plain mean. Mary was ready to go at that point anyways, but it was still a frustrating way to end a nice morning.

Oh, and while I was there a woman came up to me and asked if I had gone to Massey elementary or Campbell High school...I had gone to both, so I smiled a little blankly and said that I had. I guess she did too, and while she was a couple of years older than me, she recognized me as soon as I walked in. I'm afraid I was a little rude to her as I was paralyzed with shyness and nervousness and I only mumbled some small talk and ran off to sit by myself as soon as I could. Sigh. I could have made friends with her and her sister, and actually had a friend here in Regina. Maybe I'll see them again there some time.

We got our cable hooked up yesterday. It's nice to have tv again and to be able to watch something other than Cars or Finding Nemo. We got a promotional deal where we get pretty much every channel under the sun for a very inexpensive fee. I find that I'm still watching the same channels as I did with our regular cable back home. Even when you have 200+ channels, there's still rarely anything worth watching on...though if I wanted I could watch CSI 24 hours a day.

Apartment life, it ain't for me

Have I mentioned how much I hate living in an apartment? Cause if I haven't, let me mention it now. I hate it. I hate living with other people, I hate listening to their noises, I hate smelling their smells, I hate dealing with their issues. I hate it.

I am currently listening to the fire alarm go off in the hall outside our apartment. "Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring." it goes, and it's been doing it for about 10 minutes now. Some idiot child has likely set it off, and is thinking they are so clever and funny for inconveniencing everyone who lives here. Filthy miserable brats. They blow smoke in our open windows, run around shrieking and swearing, break things, and make life miserable for those of us who are simply trying to live their lives. And where are their parents, you might ask? Who knows! Probably at the bar, or smoking dope. Oof, I'm sounding judgy, but for christ sake, it took a huge fight and a lot of tears to get Mary to sleep tonight, and I have my doubts that sleep will last with this crap going on.

Have I told you about all that has happened since we moved in here? Only two weeks, it seems like a lifetime. An unhappy lifetime. First there was the bathtub incident, I think I mentioned that before. Then we made the mistake of trying to use the microwave and the coffee maker at the same time and blew a fuse. Ian took a look at the fuse box, and when he opened it up, it spat flames at him, so we called maintenance. They came, took one look, and said "I'm not touching that, I have to call an electrician," and left. About 2 hours later (two hours with NO power at all to the kitchen, including the very full fridge and freezer) the guy showed back up with an electrician who said "wow! I haven't seen one of these in a long time!" Then, we discovered that we don't have enough power in this apartment to run the microwave properly. It took Ian 7 minutes to heat up a bowl of chili for lunch. I won't get into the raunchy smells of ethnic cooking that flood the hallway and our apartment every day. I mean, I don't mind ethnic food, but yikes it stinks, especially when the people cooking it open their front door, handily directly across the hall from us, to air out their place.

And the alarm is still going off. I swear to god, I'm going to loose it. Seriously. I'll give it something to bloody "ring, ring, ring" about.

UPDATE!

The ringing stopped at about 9:45 last night. It started again just before 7:30 this morning. It's been going for about 20 minutes now with no end in sight.

Long Weekend

Things went well enough this weekend. We are still settling in to the new place, it's starting to look more and more like people live here rather than a bunch of hobo's.

Rico drove out Friday with our wayward cat. It was great to see him, and awesome to see Rupert doing so well. It seems that he was a dream passenger on the 8 hour trip out here too. What a little freak. Rupert is setting in well, and while the other cats did a lot of hissing and growling at him for the first couple of days, everyone seems to be getting along nicely now.

Friday night we took Rico out for supper and then to see a movie. We went and saw 28 Weeks Later, which was okay. It wasn't everything that I had expected, but it was passable. I like the idea of an actual virus for a zombie movie, it makes it much more believable, you know? That night I had running-away-from-zombie dreams all night long though. Usually I can handle dreams like that one, but my sub-conscious played dirty pool and kept throwing Mary in there.

Saturday morning Rico headed home bright and early, and Ian and I went over to my dad's place to pick up Mary and to wish my step-mum a happy birthday. Mary was sweet, Michael was happier than I've seen her in a while, and we had some of the best doughnuts I've had for breakfast. The rest of the day was wasted away by napping and bumming around the apartment.

Sunday we bought a new TV. Yay! It was more expensive than we had planned on purchasing as it is a fancy LCD thingy, but it sure is nice. Now all we need is for the cable people to come hook it up and I'll be happy.

Mary's been awfully cute these days. Any time I go out without her and Ian, I ask for a kiss. She gives me one, and then runs to find Ian so she can drag him over to me and demand that he gives me a kiss too. It's awfully sweet. Her vocabulary is expanding leaps and bounds too, she now uses 3 and 4 word sentences sometimes, and everything she says is much easier to understand. If she's upset she'll often tell me what the problem is, which is a wonderful thing. Last night I tried to get her to drink the last bit of her milk with supper and she said, clear as a bell "I don't want it, Mum!" I could have done without the huffing, arm crossing and sulking after she made that declaration, but wow, I was impressed. Not everything is impressive with her though. We have decided to wean her from her bottles and it is not going well. We are down to 30 minutes of heart broken sobbing at bedtime, but I feel like such an awful person when she begs pathetically for a "bottle'a'mahk" while sobbing at her door. We just started Saturday, so hopefully it'll get better soon.

As for the other baby, the one still in my belly. I want it out, now. Only 3-4 weeks left. I am looking forward to going from the misery of sleepless nights because I can't get comfortable to the misery of sleepless nights because I have a screaming newborn to tend too. Why on earth do we do this to ourselves again? Someone, please remind me...

Found!

I got a happy email this morning. Rupert the Wondercat has finally been captured. It took a team of people as well as a cat trap to get him, but this morning I & V moved him into their living room where he can relax and recover. According to V he is doing very well, loving and purring and desperate for affection, and he doesn't seem to mind their dog and cats peering through the french doors to check him out. Now all we have to do is get him here and our little family will be reunited. Of course, before he makes the trip we are going to arrange to get him to the vet and have him seriously drugged for the drive. I don't want to stress him more than needed. And to think, we get to go through this again in a couple months when we buy a house. Yay.

We are slowly settling into the apartment. Unpacking is almost as miserable as packing, and between Marys attempts to help and my growing belly, it's slow moving. We also discovered that our bathtub leaks very very badly into the floor beneath it. When you fill up the tub, it drains like there's no plug in it at all, even when there is. It made for a very quick bath for Miss Mary last night.

We are still looking for a house, and we spoke to our real estate agent yesterday. So far there isn't a whole lot on the market, but we are hoping that once the school year ends, more houses will go up for sale and we will find something wonderful and perfect.

Anyways, Mary is demanding my attention, so I had better go give her hugs and cuddles.

Casualties

The move is almost complete. Dad got here with the U-haul about 30 minutes ago, and Ian should be in town in about 2 more hours.

Bawling for 2 hours straight is not a good thing if you have a sinus headache already. I feel like my head is going to explode.

We are down one cat. I'm not really able to comment more on that fact right now, I'm still very upset about it. It's no ones fault, and I'm not angry, just very very sad.

Once I started crying about the cat, I couldn't stop, and I cried about everything. I started doubting every decision that we've made, especially the one to leave Edmonton. I'm lonely already, I miss my friends and I miss my home. I hope it gets better soon.

Quick Hello

Hi there everyone!

Mary and I made it to Regina without any major incidents. We are slowly wearing out our welcome at my dads place, luckily Ian will be along with all our stuff on Sunday, and we are moving into the appartment on Monday. We will be looking hard to find a house as the appartment is even worse than I expected it too be...small and in the basement and not terribly well maintained. It will definately do the job of giving us the drive to find a nice house quickly.

The baby in my belly is still driving me crazy, I'm starting to think that she will pop out long before her due date, which is perfectly okay with me. She's huge, and heavy, and puts so much pressure on my pelvis that I have a hard time walking up and down stairs. My cold is still driving me bonkers, now it has moved to my sinuses. Sigh. Some day I will be healthy again, I'm sure of it.

Hope you're all doing well, I miss everyone in Edmonton already.

Changes

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Mary and I are moving to Regina, never to return (at least not till after the baby is born anyways). It's pretty stressful and exciting all at once. I love Edmonton so much, I really hate to leave. If there was any way we could make it here without being constantly in debt, there's no way you could drag me out of this place, but unfortunately, that's not the case.

Last night was my last Paradise Lost game, and it was quite fantastic. I got my character killed after killing one of the bad guys that had been stringing me along for over a year. I was pleased with the way things went, and I can't imagine my character being happier than she was when they finally decided to kill her. She's been trying to die for an awfully long time now.

After the game I didn't go out, as much as I wanted too. I'm exhausted right now, and all three of us are dealing with a brutal cold. I have to say that I find it a wee bit ridiculous that while I was in the hospital they were able to pump me full of Demerol every 3 hours, but now that I have a bad chest/sinus cold, I can't even take Neo-Citrin. Anyways, I got to say goodbye to a good number of my friends this weekend, and amazingly, I've not broken down in tears yet, though last night was awfully close. I'm not sure when I am going to cry, though I'm sure I will. I suspect it won't really happen till tomorrow night, things still don't feel real.

With the sickness in the house, we haven't gotten a lot of packing accomplished. Poor Ian has a whole lot to do in the next week. I hope he manages to get things done. I'm certain he will, but I imagine it will be an awfully miserable week for him. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for him too. No one trusts me to do the drive on my own...well, to be fair, no one trusts my body which seems to be going out of its way to betray me on a regular basis. Anyways, no one wants me to drive on my own, so the plan is for Ian to drive Mary and me to Saskatoon and hop on a bus home. My dad is taking a bus to S'toon and will drive the rest of the way to Regina with us. It really seems kind of silly to me, but then I remember how the pain of my idiotic pancreas, and I'm awfully glad that I won't be all by my self.

So, as of tomorrow I don't know how often I'll be able to post here, at least till we get settled in the apartment in a week or two. Dad has a computer, but his internet connection is spotty at best, and he lives with two of Michael's kids right now, but I'll try to get on at least once or twice. Take care of yourselves, and wish us luck, life is changing at a pace that's awfully hard to keep up with right now!

Bland

Hello again.

Well, I'm doing better every day, just so you know. I am however getting sick of my guts rebelling every time I eat something other than rice, white toast or chicken noodle soup. After a week of only being allowed to eat clear liquids, my stomach has decided to be lazy. Slowly but surely though, things are getting better. I went to the doctor on Monday, and he told me that he thinks I will be fine. His nurse was alarmed that I had lost 10 lbs in less than a week, but that's what being in the hospital will do to you. Pancreatitis is not a diet I would recommend. I did ask the doctor if there was anything I could do to avoid another attack, and he laughed and told me no, no there wasn't. They have no idea why it happened in the first place, I'm not an alcoholic, not a drug addict, and my gall bladder looks fine, so they call it "idiopathic" and shrug their shoulders. I live in fear of being in pain like that again though.

Mary managed to get sick while I was in the hospital. Ian took wonderful care of her, but her routine was all messed up and she didn't sleep too well, and now we are paying for it. ugh.

Only a few days left till I leave Edmonton for good. The thought makes my already sensitive stomach roll like crazy. All of a sudden we have so much stuff to do and so many people that I want to see and say goodbye too, and we just don't have the time. The week in the hospital really messed up our timeframe, those days just disappeared. I keep thinking that I still have over a week, and then I realize that it's this coming monday that I leave. I hope we get a chance to see everyone that I want to see before leaving, but I'm starting to think that I won't. We are going to a combo farewell us/happy birthday someone else party on Friday, and I'm already working on not bawling when it's time to go.

Oh, last night I had a messed up dream. I dreamed that a big group of my friends and I were at this place, in this city...I don't know which city it was, and we were role-playing. But the lines between real life and our characters were very blurred. I was a robot, and our friend, Rico, had fallen in love with me/my character. Rico had also gotten one of our other friends, D, the girlfriend of another frequent star in my dirty dreams, pregnant. Everyone was all pounded out of shape about it, and any time they mentioned it to Rico he would laugh and say "my character isn't here right now" and just ignore them. It was very odd, and unfortunately not at all naughty.

What Next?

Really, I probably shouldn't utter those words.

It's been a while, would you like to know how my week went?

On Monday I had an appointment with my obstetrician, just a regular check-up. I mentioned my incredibly painful tailbone, he laughed, told me that perhaps I should stay off stairs, and gave me a prescription for Tylenol-3's. Then I went and hung out with Nadine and the babies, before watching her kids while she went out for a little while. When she got back I started to get a bit of a stomach ache, so I took Mary and headed home. At first I thought I was hungry, but by time I got home I knew it was something else. I got Mary set up in front of the TV, and curled up on the bed. The pain got worse and worse until I was in tears. I called Ian, begged him to come home right away, and crawled to the bathroom, where I curled up on the floor and howled (quite literally) in pain. Mary came over to me from time to time looking very worried and said "Mumma? okay Mumma?" I couldn't even reassure her, I just begged for help. Thats how Ian found me when he got home.

Ian managed to get me up off the floor and into the van, and we made a quick dash to the hospital, me yelling the whole way and begging for my mother. You know it's bad when a thirty year old woman is crying for her Mummy. When we got to the hospital Ian got me on a stretcher and we made our way to the Labour and Delivery ward. I remember sobbing to him that I was dying, and him saying that I would be fine. I also remember telling him that I wished I was dying...It was pretty bad.

I don't remember much else, the doctor talked to me, I remember being very rude and yelling at her, I remember writing in pain, and I remember getting a shot of sweet, sweet demerol. About 20 minutes after the drugs, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the Dr. was back, and I apologized to her profusely for being so rude. She said that all my test results were back, and that they were all normal, but she was going to admit me anyways, because she thought that the tests must be wrong. About 30 minutes later she came and told me that all the tests weren't back because they had run one of them over. My lipase, a pancreatic enzyme, was coming back as being at 23,000. Normal is up to 100, high is 300. So, needless to say, there was something wrong.

The first night at the hospital was awful, the pain medications didn't work very well, I ended up begging the nurses on a regular basis for more, and once got stuck on the toilet and had to have people help me get dressed and back into bed. All in all, it was plain misery.

I just got home from the hospital this afternoon, and while I'm not 100%, I feel much, much better. I also want to let you all know that Pancreatitis, it is the most horrible thing in the world. It was more painful than anything, even giving birth, even my sore tailbone. One of the surgeons who came to see me said that pancreatic pain is the worst pain of any organ pain, and pancreatitis is the most painful thing he's ever had to treat. Nice.

Anyways, that's pretty much how my week went. How was your week?

Ouch

On Friday evening, in a fit of crutch envy, I decided to fling myself down the stairs. Unfortunately, I was unable to recreate Liz's glamorous ankle injury, and instead landed with all my considerable weight directly on the edge of a step, right on my tailbone. I sat there on the steps at Raven's house, fighting 1. the urge to vomit, 2. the urge to weep and 3. the urge to stop breathing (that's how I cope with pain you see...I just don't breathe). Instead I forced myself to smile at my concerned friends and claim that I was just fine (puff puff, remember to breathe) and I just needed a moment to collect myself. After a minute or two of sitting on the steps and thinking "in, out, in, out...breathe" I got up, managed not to shriek at the pain, and stumbled over to a chair. I was really hoping that the pain would get better, but unfortunately it did not. About 20 minutes later I could not sit without intense pain in my poor bum, and I was incapable of bending over to pick up the diaper bag from the floor. I phoned Ian at work and asked him to please come straight to Ravens place to help me get Mary into the van, I hurt myself and needed to go home. He came, gathered Mary and I up, and we set off home. I wept the whole way, every time I drove over a bump it felt like someone was driving a spike through my tailbone and into my spine. I spent pretty much all day yesterday laying on my side on the couch, unable to sit at all. I did have to get up once or twice to feed and change Mary, but she was remarkably well behaved and easy to care for. Today I am a little better, it still hurts like a son of a gun, but not quite as badly as yesterday. I am actually able to sit, so long as I lean forward and don't try to get comfortable. I still can't pick things up from the floor, pick Mary up, or put on my own socks, but hopefully by tomorrow that will resolve. If not, I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow anyways. I really hope this resolves soon, I only have 2 weeks left till Mary and I head off to Regina, and there's a lot of packing I need to do before we go.

Canada's Next Top Model?

It has been snowing all day long. Snowing. Two days ago it was 16 degrees and we were raking the lawn. What is with this weather anyways? I am done with winter, so very done.

But here! Look! Mary was helping us rake (really Ian was doing all the work, I just helped by supervising the job) and at one point she decided to be a super model. These are three of her poses, she kept changing poses and shouting "Cheese!" at the top of her lungs. Ian says it's the influence of too much "America's Next Top Model," but I swear it's on after she goes to bed...






I also hate packing, so very very much. Today I got quite a bit done, or what felt like quite a bit....but I didn't make a dent in the stuff, so much stuff.

Anyways, I haven't much more to say, so here, look at another cute picture, okay?

Trucking Along

Wow, has it been almost a week already? Where has the time gone?

Hmm. Well, in spite of my actual birthday being a bit of a bust, the rest of the week has turned out quite well. Friday Ian, Mary and I went to Chili's for supper. Mary was incredibly well behaved and the food was good enough. After that we went for a spin through Costco to pick up some more of Marys juice boxes, and then we headed over to Ravens place. By time we got to Ravens though, I was freaky exhausted. I had intended to stay for Ladies of Hack, but by 8:30 or so I was dozing on the couch. I had enough energy in me to either stay up for a little while longer, or socialize, but not both, so we went home.

Saturday was a good day. We went to a wake for a friend of ours who passed away on the Easter weekend to go to, so we dropped Mary off at Ians aunt and uncles. It was a very nice way to spend the afternoon remembering our friend, and it was surprisingly upbeat. I've never really attended a "wake" before and it was a new experience for me. After the wake Ian and I went out for supper to Moxies and had a wonderful adult time. We ate steak and lots of garlic, and I pretended that I was able to drink a nice glass of red wine. We picked Mary up after supper, headed home, and then I went off to a cocktail party.

The party was wonderful, though strangely difficult. I was given a cake, chocolates, flowers and a gift certificate to the spa, but the best part was just hanging out with a fantastic group of people. I suppose it's not so strange that I had a hard time with it all, considering that it was one of the last chances I will have to spend with them before leaving for Regina. On the drive home I kept thinking that I really shouldn't go out with them anymore, after hanging out with them the last thing I want to do is move away from Edmonton.

Speaking of moving, things are pretty much finished. The people buying the house have had their financing confirmed, all the conditions have been removed from the contract, so now all we have to do is wait for Land Titles to do their thing and switch everything over. The other day we got a call from the rental company in Regina, and we officially have an address out there for May 1st, the big move is planned for the 14th, though Mary and I are going to Regina on the 7th. My father is going to rent a u-haul for us and help Ian drive it home, but we'll have to start working on recruiting our friends for help emptying the house.

Holy crap! So, the TV just made a huge bang, like a gunshot, and the screen went black. I think that's a bad thing, eh? It smells kind of burny in here now, I looked and I can't find anything actually burning or smoking though, and I can't reach the plug in to unplug the stupid thing. Huh. One less thing to move, I guess. I have been telling Ian that I want a new TV for a while now. Mary is going to be awfully miserable when she realizes that we don't have a working TV in the house though, I'm not looking forward to dealing with that. Of course, without the TV distracting us, I bet Ian and I will get a whole lot more work done around here...

Feeling Better

Hey! I feel much better this afternoon! It's surprising what getting out of the house and visiting people will do for you when you're feeling sorry for yourself, don't you think?

Mary and I headed off to visit our invalid friend Liz this morning. We made her tea and tried to make sure she didn't do anything she oughtn't while her ankle is all sore and swollen. It was tough though, she's a formidable woman at the best of times, and now she has crutches....those are weapons in the wrong hands, people. Just ask Mary. Anyways, it was very nice of her to invite us out, and it really did the trick. I was planning on spending the day naked and miserable, and instead both Mary and I got dressed and out. After our visit with Liz we went off to the capitalist Mecca, also known as WalMart to buy much needed kitty litter and milk. I also grabbed a balloon on a stick for Miss Mary because she was so awesomely behaved all day long. We just got home, and Mary has happily gone down for a nap (a nap! she's actually napping!!) and I'm listening to Jesus Christ Superstar and belting along when the mood strikes me. I may even do some of the housework that I've neglected the last couple of days while down in the dumps.

Oh, and I got a fantastic homemade birthday card in the mail today too. Thanks Goody, I still have your birthday card from February sitting here waiting for a stamp. I'm such a poor tool...

Feel Sorry For Me

Really, this may come across as a desperate bid for pity, but it isn't. What it really is is me wallowing in enough self pity to drown a large horse.

My 30th birthday has to have been one of the worst in memory. Now, I'm not looking for expensive gifts or wild parties (though either would have been appreciated), but a little recognition from family would have been nice. I did get several emails from friends, including a cute e-birthday card (thanks Emmett!). My father had cookies from Cookies by George delivered to me, Ians Mum sent a birthday card with Mary's easter stuff last week, and we did order in pizza from Panago as a treat. That is all. Nothing from Ian at all, not even a card, he didn't once even say "Happy Birthday Jennifer." My Dad called, but my Mum and brother did not bother. I honestly don't expect a whole lot on my birthday, I would have been thrilled with a card from Ian and Mary, a phone call from my mother....oh well. So, my day was spent with a sore throat and a headache, and ended in a fight between Ian and I that sent me to bed in tears. I suppose this means that future birthdays will have very little to top in comparison to this one.

We got our lease application faxed off to the apartment building in Regina that we will be renting when we move there next month. Now we just wait for a phone call to us, and a phone call to Dad so that he can pay. We weren't going to do it quite this way, but Dad convinced us just to rent a place starting May 1st, and then we won't have to worry about a place to live when we move on the 15th, and really, he has a point. So, once again, he is forking over the cash for us. I suppose first months rent and the damage deposit is significantly less than the deposit he was prepared to pay for us on the house in Indian Head. I think that I will end up leaving Edmonton on May 8th with Mary and the van full of boxes, and Ian will follow the week later once he gets everything packed up. I have a doctors appointment in Regina on the 9th of May, and after all the effort I had to put into getting it, I don't want to mess it up by having to change it around.

Maybe today I will dress and get out of the house to enjoy the sunshine. It might make me feel better...

Rhymes With Dirty

It's my birthday, and I am now officially thirty. All I've gotten so far is a headache, a terribly sore throat and a new, husky, possibly sexy voice to go with it. Blech. I am trying very hard not to expect anything, I'm a grown up, and grown ups don't generally need anything special for their birthdays...but I'll be awfully cheesed if I don't even get a card from my husband. Right now the only surprise I've gotten from him is the discovery that he didn't replace the toilet paper when I got up at 4 am to do my pregnant lady thing.

Hmm, looking at the computer monitor is making my head ache worse, so I think I'll stop for now. Bye bye!

Roller Coaster

I am an emotional mess right now. Seriously. Between the excitement of finding a home we loved in Saskatchewan, the exhaustion involved in finding said house, the disappointment of the deal falling through....and now the fact that we have in fact sold our house in Edmonton with signed contracts and everything getting to the lawyer today, well, I'm not dealing with life very well. I weep at the drop of a hat, and let me tell you, hats are dropping everywhere. I can't watch anything on tv other than Mary's shows, and even those cause the occasional tear to slip free. Yeesh.

So, here's the latest news. As I mentioned above, the contract has been signed by all parties on the sale of our house, and it is at the lawyers place right now. Ian spent most of the day running around getting things done at the lawyer, bank, and with the people who are buying the house. I stayed at home with my crabby toddler, my leaking boobs, my sore throat, and trying not to bawl. Anyways, that means that we are very close to having our house officially sold. The current plan is to rent something in Regina for the beginning of May, even though the house deal will not go through till mid may. That way we have somewhere to live in Regina for a few months so we can find somewhere to live. We have to sign a 4 month lease, which is not a terrible thing. That also means that we will have somewhere to live and if we find a house we like we can take August posession, and have plenty of time to move in at our own pace. I am not excited though, I haven't the energy to get excited. I certainly haven't got it in me to deal with the disappointment if I do get excited and this deal falls through too. So, I will be excited when we get the money for the house from the lawyer and I see our bank account balance shoot up like we won the lottery.

In other, non house related news, have I mentioned how cute my daughter is? Yesterday I had an appointment with my Doctor, and I had to take her with me. She was a bit of a wild woman in the waiting room, but thankfully we only had a 10 minute wait, and that's cause I was early. She was very good when the Dr came in, and charmed him by saying hello about seven hundred times and just looking cute. That all changed when he got me up on the table to poke at my belly. Mary got very upset and started crying when I lay down on the bed, and came to my side weeping. I tried to comfort her and talk to her, but she was having none of it. As far as she was concerned the man in the white coat was doing something horrible to her Mummy, and she needed to do something about it. So when the Doctor got the doppler out to listen to the baby's heartbeat, Mary hit him! I shouldn't laugh, and I at the time I was pretty mortified, but it was awfully sweet that she was so worried about me. And this from the child who couldn't have cared less when I fell down and wacked my poor head.

Disappointment Squared

I am incredibly upset right now, and wobbling on the edge of tears. We won't be moving any time soon it would seem, at least not until July most likely. I won't go into reasons here, but we ended up having to call off the offer on the house in Indian Head.

Anyways, we'll be in Edmonton for a few more months now, which isn't really a terrible thing. More time with our friends, more time to get things arranged, and I'll be able to continue going to my Obstatritian here which is a really fantastic thing. I'm much more comfortable being with the doctor who delivered Mary and has helped me through the difficulties I've been having with this pregnancy.

Our New Home (we hope)

Here it is!

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d0%26Page%3d1%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d20%26mp%3d0-0-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d3-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d3274%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d1651&Mode=0&PropertyID=5597138

We placed an offer on this place yesterday before the long drive back to Edmonton, received a counter offer this morning, and are likely to accept the counter. That means that if all goes well with the house inspection, this little place will be ours as of May 4th (May the fourth be with you)! I'm a little excited. We weren't sure about this house at first, it's quite a bit smaller than what we had hoped for, and Ian didn't like it quite as much as I do (I love it), but all the other houses we saw over the weekend (except the one in Vibank) were real duds and this one really is beautiful. It's older, but there has been a tonne of work done on it. It's small, but it has a huge kitchen, nice sized bedrooms and is on a giant lot in a town that I have loved all my life. The town is a little far away from Regina, it'll be a 45 minute commute, but there is lots there, including the possibility of Ian finding work in town.

Today Mary and I are both sick, we picked up a bad cold from the step-family, so we aren't going to do much. We do have to pick up the contract for the sale of our Edmonton house, and tomorrow Ian is taking the morning off so we can go to visit the people who are buying our house and fill out the paperwork, go to the bank and chat with them, and lastly go to the lawyers and get the ball rolling. I'm awfully excited about the whole thing...I really hope that everything comes together the way it should without much dificulty.

Disappointment

We looked at many houses today. Several were ass. One, we fell in love with. It's the one in Vibank, and it was perfect, everything about it was perfect. We placed a generous offer on it. It was rejected with no counter offer. Damn.

Happy Easter everyone.

Thursday

Wow, is it Thursday already? I guess it must be. This weekend is Easter weekend, and next week I turn 30. I really can't believe how quickly time is zipping by. Sometimes I look at Mary and wonder when she turned from a chubby, toothlessly grinning baby to this energetic, beautiful, bossy little girl that is sitting on my couch.

Thanks for the advice on finding a doctor in Regina. For those of you who suggested my Dr's office do the footwork, it's a good idea, but not one that worked. Dr. Browns office had already sent out 3 referrals to the Doctors that he knew of in the city, and was rejected by them all. I did mention to all of the ones that turned me down personally that I could get a referral from my OB/GYN here, and the general response was a sort of "good for you, won't change a thing though." Luckily, the tenth, and last Obstatritian in Regina, was cheerfully happy to accept a referral from my doctor here and book an appointment for me in May. Yay! Unfortunately, it looks like this one is a Lady Doctor. I have no problem with women being doctors, and I will see a woman doctor if I must, but I really would rather see a male. I have no idea why, and I acknowledge that it's kinda odd, but that's just the way of it. By my 6th rejection, I realized that I couldn't be picky any longer and would have to suck it up though.

So, our house here in Edmonton is basically sold. Isn't that exciting? That means that we can go to Regina this weekend, look at houses, and actually comfortably make an offer. Then next week we will go to see the lawyer with our friends who are buying the house, arrange everything, talk to the bank, and....well....that's that. We will hopefully be in the Regina area by May 1st settling into our new home. It was iffy for a while because of the neighborhood that we live in though. The people buying from us want to rent, and very few rental management companies will handle houses in this area because the minute you put a place up for rent the Capital health authority comes in and does an inspection. It's not necessarily a bad thing, this neighborhood is rife with crack houses, cat houses and slum landlords. This house needs quite a bit of work, but I think that it can be done without breaking the bank (for some people, not us though) and it will pass any inspection with little effort.

I had my monthly ultrasound yesterday morning, and it went very well. The ultrasound was mostly performed by a student, and the actual tech was watching over her shoulder. My favourite quote from him was "This is how it would look if there were something abnormal (blah blah blah, insert random medical terms here) but this baby couldn't be more normal if it tried." That made me awfully happy. The baby is growing well, looking healthy, keeping busy kicking the crap out of my ribs, and my uterus is functioning within normal paramaters. The only small concern is that she is still breach, but she has about 5 weeks left to turn around into the right position before they start to get really concerned about things.

So, there it is. Lots of excitement around here, and I've even packed 6 boxes which we will bring to Regina this trip and store in my fathers basement. (by the way, if any of you in Edmonton have moving boxes cluttering up your space that you would be willing to donate, please let me know!). The cats and Mary still have no idea of the upheaval that is coming, I suspect Mary will deal with it much better than the boys though.

Troubles

Guess what I've been doing this morning? I have been phoning EVERY single obstatritian in Regina trying to find someone who will be my doctor. So far I have called nine of them and been told nope nine times. What am I going to do? There are only 2 more left on my list, I've phoned womens health in Regina and they gave me all the names they have. What happens if I can't find a doctor? I can hardly drive back to Edmonton every 2 weeks for my appointments, and 8 hours is an awfully long drive to deliver a baby when the time comes. There are a couple of GP's in Regina that deliver babies, but because this pregnancy has been a little higher risk than most, and because Mary's delivery was such a gong show, my Dr here wants me to see an obstatritian. Ugh. I may end up doing this all by myself like they used too in the olden days!

Cheese!

More pictures of Mary. She's just being so darned cute I can hardly resist, and I need to share the cuteness with everyone else too! She wandered into my bedroom and was very quiet, which is never a good thing....when she came out this was what she was wearing....




Here's a video I took shortly after the first shot, once she realized I had the camera out. Every time she spots the camera she goes into a frenzy of "Cheese!"ing, and once a picture is taken, she shouts "Again! Cheeeeeeese!" (this is my first attempt at posting a video, let me know how it works!) (If you're looking at this now and it doesn't work, look again in a bit, apparently it takes a while for the video to actually show up on You Tube. who knew?)

Tuesday

Good day to you all!

Well, I am still reeling slightly from the news about the house. All I can think is that it's a good thing I decided to be lawful and not burn the bloody place down when it was really annoying me!

Other than thinking about the house, talking to a friend who may buy the house, looking at new houses in Saskatchewan, and talking to our real estate agent in Regina, life has been awfully quiet. I spent most of yesterday morning in bed after fainting. I managed to hit the couch this time rather than the floor, so my head didn't hurt quite as badly, but I sure felt yucky for several hours afterwards. In the afternoon Mary and I packed ourselves into the van and went to WalMart for catfood and a few crappy plastic trinkets to put in Marys easter basket. It was nice to get out of the house in spite of the horrible weather and even worse roads. When we were all done and I was loading my purchases into the car, a fellow with an incredibly thick Newfoundland accent approached me and asked for spare change. Even before I could say anything he went on, saying "I know, most people tell me to get a job, but I have one. I just got here from Newfoundland a couple of weeks ago, I haven't got my first paycheque, and even when I do, I just can't find anywhere to live." I tend to be an incredibly soft touch most of the time, I would never, ever tell someone who is asking for spare change to get a job, and I am usually happy to give over a dollar or two if I have money in my pocket. This guy, though, well, I really felt for him. His story is just so plausible right now. There are tonnes of people coming to Edmonton from all over the place because of the promise of high wages, and then when they get here housing and rental costs are so high that they can't find anywhere to live, and end up sleeping in the river valley. Anyways, I handed over about 7 dollars, for which he was immensely thankful, and told me that I had gotten him halfway to sleeping at the Salvation Army shelter and getting a hot meal, rather than spending the night in the snow beside Walmart. I really hope he got the other 8 bucks he needed, it was miserable and cold last night.

Mary has been exceptionally cute this morning....she picked up a piece of garbage that was on the floor, and I commented that it was garbage. So she wandered to the kitchen, picking up scraps of her paper that she found on the floor, and put everything in the garbage! Then she went to my little vanity thing, and picked up all the stuff that the cats had knocked off in the night and carefully put them back where they belonged! I only wish she would do those things more often, most of the time she's making the messes and then commenting on them ("oh no! A Mess!") rather than cleaning them up.

Seasons

Well, that was the quickest spring I've ever seen. Last week was stunningly beautiful around here, almost all the snow melted, the sun shone (except for a bit of spring rain), and I even heard a robin chirping away on Saturday morning. I was sure that spring was here for good. Unfortunately this morning things are white again, it snowed, and the high for the day is only -5 or so. Sigh. Not that spring is a nice time of year around here, everything is so brown and filthy when the snow goes away, and it stays like that for a long time.

So, anyone wanna buy a house? We had 3 real estate agents through to look at the place yesterday, and I'm still stunned by what they said. The first guy walked through, looked around, talked to us about what else is for sale in the neighbourhood, and then recommended that we list the house anywhere from $215,000 - 230,000. I was stunned and to be honest I thought he was crazy. When he left I told Ian that the next guy would never tell us that much. But he did, and the third guy, who was by far the best and most thorough, told us even more, 224,000 - 245,000. I just couldn't believe it, I still can't. All three of them are pretty sure that if we list the house at the right price, we could sell it in a week and get more than we ask. This house needs a whole lot of work, and it just blows me away that in this market it is worth over 200 thousand dollars. I don't even want to think about what it would be worth if we had been able to put more work into it over the last couple of years.

Ugh. I just fainted again, though this time I managed to get to the couch before passing out. I think I'm going to go lay down for while, hopefully Mary will be content to watch tv and organize her books.

Artwork

Can you tell who did which piece of art? One is the cross stitch that I've been working on for what seems like ages. Jonah's baby brother was born last week, and I just finished it today. The other one is Mary's work, and is the drawback of having crayons, chalk and an easel in your 2 year olds bedroom.

Crazy

I am officially in my third trimester. Less than 12 weeks to go until there should be another member of our growing family, and I really hope they pass quickly. My centre of balance is off, I have a hard time getting up from sitting down, my back aches, my boobs leak, I waddle when I walk, and I can't sleep at night. When I do manage to sleep I have bizarre dreams, usually about kittens. Occasionally I find kittens and bring them home, sometimes I give birth to kittens, it's all very strange.

I'm also getting more and more frightened about, well, everything. I worry about the move to Saskatchewan (though my worries are a little less thanks to Ryans comment on my last post), yes, but I worry more about what comes after. I'm terrified of giving birth, which is strange, but I know what I'm getting in too now, and it is much more frightening with that knowledge. My biggest fear is probably the most irrational though. I love Mary so much, more than anything or anyone I've ever loved before. Every once in a while it amazes me, I never thought I was capable of feeling this way before. How on earth will I be able to love this next baby as much? What if I don't love it as much, will I be able to be a good mother? Will I resent the new baby for ruining my relationship with Mary? I have so much fun spending time with her, and I won't be able to do it as much with a new baby. Everything is going to change so much, and I worry that none of it will be for the better. I'm sure that I'm being crazy and obsessive, I have friends who have more than one child and they seem to love them all....but I just can't help it.

So, yesterday we spent another $250 on the piece of crap Taurus that we just spend $700 on last week. Urg. Hopefully this will be the last money we need to sink into it for a good long time, I'm getting awfully sick of throwing all our money at it. Unfortunately, because of Ians work situation over the last couple of weeks (which has resolved, thankfully), we are very short of cash and had to ask my dad for a loan. It would have been okay, but the $250 we just spent was set for groceries, and now we are back in the exact same position as we were before Dad sent us the money. Selling this house will be fantastic, especially if we get what we think we will get for it...we can pay off our debts and actually get on top of things for once.

Oh, I took Mary to the doctor yesterday, just one of the walk in medicentres in town. My timing was perfect, when we got there the place was empty, so we only waited about 15 minutes to see the doctor, but in those 15 minutes the place filled up like crazy. Mary's had a bad cough for about 2 weeks now, and while she seems okay otherwise, it was starting to worry me a little bit, and it gets bad enough at night that she can't sleep and sometimes coughs till she throws up all over herself (and us on Saturday night). I quite liked the doctor she saw, she was a non nonsense sort of lady, and while I don't usually like female doctors I'm glad we got to see her. She poked in Marys ears, looked in her mouth and throat, listened to her chest, and pronounced that there was no infection, it was probably just the viral cold that is going around, and we should expect it to continue for another week or two before it gets better. What I liked most was that she didn't toss antibiotics at us like many doctors would do. I don't know if they do it because they think that parents expect to be given some sort of prescription, but it drives me crazy. I don't want to give Mary (or take myself, for that matter) medicine that isn't necessary and isn't going to do anything to solve the problem.

Houses

For those of you who care, or are curious, here are links to the MLS listings for the two houses.

Gray : http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d0%26Page%3d1%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d20%26mp%3d100000-150000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d3-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d1671%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d1585&Mode=0&PropertyID=5332042

Vibank: http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fMode%3d0%26Page%3d1%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d20%26mp%3d100000-150000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d3-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d1671%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d1585&Mode=0&PropertyID=5526972

I really wish I knew how to make links nicely here, but all my magic helper buttons have disappeared (if anyone can tell me why, and how to get them back, I'd appreciate it).

I'm really quite excited and anxious, I want to get this done as soon as possible now that things are moving along. A week to wait for the agents to tell us how much our house is worth seems like an unbearably long time. I want to know now! What if by time we find out how much the house is worth and arrange to sell it, both the houses we like are sold? What if we end up having to move without somewhere to move too? What if I have to stay behind with Mary while Ian goes off to work? I certainly can't pack and move on my own (or really even with help, according to the doctors...). I just can't wait to be in a house that is big enough for our little family to grow in, and the idea of being relatively debt free except for a smallish mortgage is incredibly exciting.

The hardest thing about moving will be leaving all our fantastic friends behind. The idea of that kind of makes me sick in a bad way as opposed to an excited way. I'm sure we will survive, and we will come back to Edmonton for visits, but still. I mean, I moved to Edmonton 7 years ago without knowing anyone, and now I have a huge network of friends, surely I can do it again, right? The problem is that Regina is...well, it just isn't Edmonton. I'm thinking of putting an ad in the local paper there to find people to play D&D with. How does this sound? "Thirty something couple new to the area in search of a group of like minded people to engage in weekly role playing adventures." Tee hee. I'm sure we would get some colourful responses to that one.

Choices

So, for those of you who haven't guessed it, we are moving to Saskatchewan. We considered looking inside the city, but the house prices there are so crazy because of all the albertans moving there that we just can't afford what we want. This time we are not willing to comprimise and move into a house that we hate because we can't afford any better. I've been looking online at the MLS service, and found several three bedroom houses just outside Regina, the farthest being about 30 minutes away. Yesterday Dad and Michael (his wife) spent the day with our real estate agent looking at the houses that I picked. They quickly whittled down the choice from 7 to 2 houses that they liked the best.

House # 1:

This house is in a town called Vibank. which is about 30 minutes south east of Regina on a secondary highway. Vibank has a corner store, gas station, post office, butcher and a K-12 school. The house itself is on a huge lot, but the lot is unfenced. It's been well taken care of, but it does need some work. Michael didn't like some of the colours in the house and the shower in the basement needs to be ripped out and redone. The baseent is fully finished with a rec room and basmement. There is a man floor laundry, a double attached garage, an en suite bath in the master bedroom and a covered deck off the kitchen. They said it is a very nice house in spite of needing some work, they both quite liked it. Oh, and it is 1341 sq feet. They are asking $139,900.

House # 2:

This house is in Gray, a hamlet about 20 minutes straight south of Regina. Gray has nothing....just a post office and a school, which is right next to the property that we are looking at. The house and yard are not as big as the one in Vibank, but the yard is fully fenced, and like I said, it is right next door to the school. Dad says that you walk across a gravel access road and are in the school yard. They liked this house better than the one in Vibank, they said it needs no work at all. The bedrooms are bigger, it has a fully finished basement as well, the floors have been taken care of. There is a neat little sun room connecting the house to the double garage, and it has a new furnace, windows, dish washer, central air and central vac. Michael called it immaculate. Their only concern is whether or not we would want to live in a town with absolutely no amenities, though it really is very close to Regina. This house is 960 sq feet, and they are asking $109,000 for it. The taxes in Gray are also over $1000 less a year than the taxes in Vibank.

Dad is going to check into the status of the two schools on monday for us, and then we will go from there, but I suspect we will be making an offer on one of these houses in a week or so, once we decide which one to go with, and once we hear from a couple of real estate agents here and find out how much this little dump is worth. It's all quite exciting and a little bit scary....things are moving much more quickly than we were planning when we went to Regina last weekend.

As for the rest of our lives...Mary is sick again (still). I ended up bringing her to bed with us last night because she was coughing and crying in her own room. She came and snuggled with us, and ended up coughing so hard that she puked all over the bed and herself. Poor baby girl. She eventually fell asleep with us, but she was coughing and restless all night long. She's had this cough for over a week now, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better, so I guess it's time to get her to the doctor yet again. blah.

Fainting Fun and Hospital Hijinks

What a fantastic day. I wish there was some way to show dripping sarcasm through typing.

I woke up this morning with the best intentions. We have a couple of real estate agents coming over on Sunday to tell us how much they think we can sell our wee dump for (Ian says 210 thou, I'm more conservative at 180) and we want to get the house presentable for them. I made up a "to do" list for both Ian and I, things to do every day.

Shortly before nine as I was reading my blogs and eating my breakfast, I got that feeling. I knew I was going to faint. So I stood up (cause that makes sense, right?) to get to the couch. I didn't make it, and woke up on my back, hands and feet tingling, head pounding, four cats staring at me in concern and Mary ignoring me. It took some coaxing, but I managed to convince my heartless child to bring me the phone, and I phoned Ian and my Dr's office. When I was able to get up, I made my way to bed, and dozed there off and on all morning while Mary watched TV and occasionally came to cuddle with me and tell me what she was watching (Bear! roar. Duck. Quack quack! Chicken. Snake. Owl!! hoot hoot). My Dr finally called me back around noon, and told me to get in to the hospital, so I called Ian, and he came to take me there.

We got to the hospital shortly after 1. I sat there waiting, and was finally acknowledged and spoken too by a nurse at 2:30. At 3 I was given a room and hooked up to the fetal monitor. The Doctor came to see me at 5. I got home at 9. The good news is that the baby is fantastically healthy as far as they can tell. The bad news is that I wasted 8 hours of my life and dragged Ian home from work so that once again he was not making any money, and they have no idea what's going on. Not to mention that I sucked up a room in the very busy labour and delivery ward completely unnecessarily.

It sounds like Ian and Mary had a nice time together though, which is nice. They went for a long walk, well, about 6 blocks or so. Mary told him all sorts of things (Car! Bus! Truck! Owl, hoot hoot). They visited some good friends of ours who Mary did not trust, though by that point she was awfully tired. They watched her Little Bear DVD 3 times in a row, each time it ended Ian tells me she would demand "Bear again! Please." He also tells me that a little later in the day she started demanding to see me, which makes me feel awfully good, though I suspect he's making that part up.

Anyways, tomorrow I have a great deal of work around the house to do, in spite of being told to take it easy by the Doctor. I can't take it easy right now, I don't have the time, and even if I didn't have stuff to do, there is very little easy about spending my day with a wonderful and energetic 2 year old. So...wish me luck, and wish us luck with our home assessments on Sunday!

Home Again

Yikes, what a weekend. We woke up on Friday morning, and of course Mary was sick. She was pretty stuffed up and coughing quite a bit, but other than that she seemed to be in good spirits. We bundled everything into the car and headed off to Saskatchewan, and surprisingly, the trip went very well in spite of the sniffles and coughing in the back seat.

The weekend was busy, looking at houses, talking to real estate agents, looking for a job for Ian. There is news on that front, but I'm not going to get into it just yet....things are still pretty tentative at this point. Needless to say, we made some BIG decisions this weekend that are going to change our lives quite a bit.

Mary was pretty crabby at times over the weekend, I think that while she loves being spoiled by her Grandma, she still gets tired of it and she misses her own bedroom. She was awfully happy tonight when we got home, and far more affectionate to Ian and I than she had been all weekend. It was nice to get hugs and kisses from her again.

Last night Mary was having a hard time sleeping, so I went in to cuddle with her and help her settle down. She snuggled up to me, and every time I sang her a lullaby, she would sing along....no words, but she was definitely singing. Then, every time it looked like I was trying to get up to leave, she would shove me back onto the bed and say "Sleep!" Some days she is just so adorable it hurts.

So, I will keep you all posted as things develop in our lives. It's pretty exciting, and plenty scary.